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Title: An Outdated Joke by Turtle
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Published: Sep 23, 2014
Author: Turtle
Post Date: 2014-09-23 12:22:22 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 347
Comments: 22

A high-school teacher asks a girl in the class, "What organ of the body enlarges to ten times its normal size during periods of excitement?"
The girl stammers and blushes and looks at the floor and says, "I don't want to answer that question."
So the teacher asks a boy, "Do you know the answer?"
The boys answers, "The pupil of the eye."
"That's right," says the teacher. Then he turns to the girl and says, "Two things are obvious. First, you didn't study your lesson last night. Second, you wedding night is going to be a terrible disappointment to you."
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#1. To: Turtle (#0)
you wedding night is going to be a terrible disappointment to you."

Older boys told me this...
One, if new bride laughs, she aint a virgin and two, you been SHORT changed.

Cynicom posted on 2014-09-23 12:35:46 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#2. To: Cynicom (#1)
In my case they don't laugh, just gasp and faint.
"Have Brain, Will Travel
Turtle posted on 2014-09-23 15:28:17 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#3. To: Turtle (#2)
In my case they don't laugh, just gasp and faint.

I refuse to comment on such a ridiculous dishonest statement.

Cynicom posted on 2014-09-23 15:33:15 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#4. To: Turtle (#2)
Kinda like at closing time, when they're looking for a ten, but a one will slip right in?
“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken
Lod posted on 2014-09-23 15:33:54 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#5. To: Lod (#4)
Many years ago and far away, such was called olde Hank.
By closing time there would be but one bar fly left, Olde Hank.
Never failed, Olde Hank would take some young man home with her.

Cynicom posted on 2014-09-23 15:46:04 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#6. To: Cynicom (#5)
Mercifully, the kid was usually drunker than Hank...at least I hope so.
“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken
Lod posted on 2014-09-23 15:52:34 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#7. To: Cynicom (#3)
I refuse to comment on such a ridiculous dishonest statement.

Jealous! Yes you are! Jealous!
Turtle has been used to it his entire life.
"Have Brain, Will Travel
Turtle posted on 2014-09-23 15:56:18 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#8. To: Turtle (#2)
Shoot, more like women ask you if they can get that in adult size.

Obnoxicated posted on 2014-09-23 16:35:12 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#9. To: Lod (#6)
Mercifully, the kid was usually drunker than Hank...at least I hope so.

Sir Lod...
I was never that loaded, ever.
If one went home with her on friday nite, she would return them to the base Sunday night, ten pounds lighter and in need of a lot of rest.

Cynicom posted on 2014-09-23 17:16:48 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#10. To: Obnoxicated, Turtle (#8)
women ask you if they can get that in adult size.

hehehehehehehehe

Cynicom posted on 2014-09-23 17:18:02 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#11. To: Cynicom (#9)
Sounds like a weekend w/Hank would be a "once in a lifetime" experience.
“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken
Lod posted on 2014-09-23 17:21:27 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#12. To: Turtle (#0)
OLDER than Mose's toes and twice as corny.
“With the exception of Whites, the rule among the peoples of the world, whether residing in their homelands or settled in Western democracies, is ethnocentrism and moral particularism: they stick together and good means what is good for their ethnic group."
-Alex Kurtagic
X-15 posted on 2014-09-23 17:49:56 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#13. To: X-15 (#12)
It's still funny.
"Have Brain, Will Travel
Turtle posted on 2014-09-23 18:38:05 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#14. To: Turtle (#13)
Last time I went in for a prostate exam, the Doctor walked in and WOWZER! She was a drop-dead gorgeous blonde! As she's doing the finger-wave, she says....."Mike, you've got to stop masturbating".....................I said "Why?" She says "Because I'm trying to examine you!"

:)
“With the exception of Whites, the rule among the peoples of the world, whether residing in their homelands or settled in Western democracies, is ethnocentrism and moral particularism: they stick together and good means what is good for their ethnic group."
-Alex Kurtagic
X-15 posted on 2014-09-23 19:31:25 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#15. To: X-15 (#14)
A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure a very attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off.
When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with him.
Upon the completion of the act the man catches his breath and asks what that was all about. The nurse informs the patient that studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the cord is easier for the surgeon to locate and sever, thereby making the surgery safer, more efficient and quicker.
The nurse then wheels the patient to the operating room. While they are going down the hall the patient looks through a window to the right and sees six men in a room masturbating.
Curious, the man asks,” What are they doing in there”? The nurse responds, “They’re preparing for vasectomies too, but you have Blue Cross, and they have Obama Care.”
“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken
Lod posted on 2014-09-23 19:41:12 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#16. To: Obnoxicated (#8)
Shoot, more like women ask you if they can get that in adult size.

Beware the Death Pug, who will nail your scrotum to the floor.
"Have Brain, Will Travel
Turtle posted on 2014-09-23 19:58:25 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#17. To: X-15, Lod (#14)
X and Lod stay after school to see the Principal.

Cynicom posted on 2014-09-23 20:24:19 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#18. To: Cynicom (#17)
Two jews are walking down the street. They see a blonde shiksa on the other side of the street. One jew says: "Boy I'd like to f*** her". The other jew says: "Out of what"?

:)
“With the exception of Whites, the rule among the peoples of the world, whether residing in their homelands or settled in Western democracies, is ethnocentrism and moral particularism: they stick together and good means what is good for their ethnic group."
-Alex Kurtagic
X-15 posted on 2014-09-23 20:34:24 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#19. To: Turtle (#16) (Edited)
I had a rott grab me by the crotch once. My wife, god love her, was present. Instead of trying to pry him off, she yells at the dog "Don't use your teeth! He hates that!"

Obnoxicated posted on 2014-09-23 20:47:36 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#20. To: X-15 (#18)
Har T har har har...good one

Cynicom posted on 2014-09-23 20:49:30 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#21. To: Turtle, all (#16)
Beware the Death Pug

That's the actual caption written under this 8th graduation photo of our friend Turtle.

It's the bankers fault !
All Wars Are Bankers' Wars
What America needs is the separation of zionism and state
Buzzard posted on 2014-09-23 20:52:50 ET (1 image) Reply Trace Private Reply
#22. To: Obnoxicated (#19)
Funny - thanks.
“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken
Lod posted on 2014-09-23 20:59:40 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
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