Star Wars Nerds Have Made George Lucas and J.J. Abrams' Lives a Living Hell
Way to go, nerds.
By Matt Miller
Nov 30, 2015 @ 2:52 PM
Star Wars Entertainment
You probably think that directing Star Wars means you live in a world of Leia bikinis, front row seats at pod races, and all the Billy Dee Williams-branded Colt 45 you can drink, but oh you're wrong. Throughout the last few months, as Star Wars hype has started to gather energy in its ionization chamber, the obsession has turned on the film's creators, past and present.
In a lengthy new feature from The Washington Post, George Lucas has a bunch of depressing things to say about his life after creating the most beloved science fiction franchise in history.
Partly so he doesn't have to read the worst about himself and his movies, Lucas says he has assiduously avoided the Internet since 2000 — no Facebook, no Twitter, no e-mail even — but that doesn't mean he avoids people.
On being forced to change an exceedingly minor detail in Star Wars: A New Hope because people would not stop obsessing over it:
When Han Solo (Harrison Ford) is threatened by Greedo, a bounty hunter working for the sluglike gangster Jabba the Hutt, Han reaches for his blaster and shoots Greedo by surprise underneath a cantina table. In the new version, it is Greedo who shoots first, by a split second. Deeply offended fans saw it as sacrilege; Lucas will probably go to his grave defending it. When Han shot first, he says, it ran counter to "Star Wars' "principles".
More from Star Wars
How J.J. Abrams and the 'Star Wars: The Force...
Here's the First Full Clip (Not Trailer!) of...
These Terrible 'Star Wars: The Force Awakens'...
Here's a Theory About the Newest Star Wars: The...
On the selling of the franchise, and Lucasfilm, and a messy divorce:
"Now I'm faced with this awkward reality, which is fine," Lucas says. Extending the metaphor, he says it's like when a grown child gets married. "I gotta go to the wedding. My ex will be there, my new wife will be there, but I'm going to have to take a very deep breath and be a good person and sit through it and just enjoy the moment, because it is what it is and it's a conscious decision that I made."
You'd almost feel bad for him, if you didn't know the guy made $4 billion on the sale of Star Wars and Lucasfilm to Disney alone. And it's not over. In an interview with Good Morning America, Abrams revealed the insane pressure of not wanting to give away any plot details ahead of the film's December 18 release. "Here's the thing: I obviously don't want to ruin the movie for people," Abrams said. "It's so important to us that we not give too many details and oversell it, which is very hard in a movie like Star Wars."
In order to keep things secret, he placed some rather nutso restrictions on the entire cast and crew during filming and post-production. And this is coming from a guy who, initially, didn't even want to direct the damn thing because he knew that "one reason Lucas had decided to sell was the personal attacks he'd suffered over the years from overzealous fans who had their own ideas on how to run a movie dynasty," as Esquire's Mike Sager wrote in a recent profile.
As of today, fans have probably only seen a grand total of 5 minutes of Star Wars: The Force Awakens from a combination of trailers and teasers released over the last year. That's approximately 3.6 percent of the movie, and already there are forums, comment threads, and blog posts dedicated to ripping the movie apart. Even when only one single 30 second teaser was released last year people were freaking out over the three-bladed lightsaber. Anyway, maybe it's just best to crack a Colt 45, and forget about all the nerds.
Oooooo boo hooo, life is so hard for the filthy rich.... i feel so bad for him that he had to suffer critisism over his public art why cant people just be nice to george lucas and let him enjoy his billions and billions in peace , why i ask you why?
Fan Mail, P.O. Box 29901, San Francisco, CA 94129-0901
George:
I'm sorry you're having such trouble as the Force. Did you ever notice that amerikans are nothing but crass, mindless consumers of superficial entertainment? That could be why they treat you and your creations the way they do. I believe that you and other superstar directors are implicated in the matter of how they got that way.
Since nobody told you when you first went to work in Hellywood, I guess I'll have to -- Hellywood is a different planet where many wondrous things happen, but it's known throughout the universe to be hell (thus the name) on marriage and family life. If you'd chosen some normal occupation where you wouldn't be working every single day for over a year on the same project -- for how many hours? -- maybe family weddings would be less complicated for you now. Believe it or not, science fiction extravaganzas would have gone on into the digital age without you. Whether we're better with them than without them, that is the question.
I see you're an insane do-gooder in your philanthropy, working with Gates and Buffett to "REDISTRIBUTE" gajillions of bux to the PO' FOLKS. Pray tell, how do you think the world has improved by your donating a mil to building the "Martin Luther [sic] King National Memorial" in Washington? Merely another way you're keeping the masses hooked on fantasy. Did you make some "racist remark" they threatened to ruin you with -- if so, does that tell you anything about filmdom.
However you want to slice it, whatever good you've done through flickers, it's more than neutralized by the liberalism and secular humanism you've furthered with your billions. Does it ever bother you that people are vastly more excited over the worlds and beings you've created onscreen than the fact that something miraculously created all of us, the skies, the seas, the trees, flowers, animals, sunsets and chocolate?
It appears they don't give a damn about any of that anymore, and with your industry's help are perfectly happy to accept the notion that it all evoluted this way by sheer happenstance -- the 2nd law of thermodynamics trampled multi-dodecillions of times in a row.
Where may I send you your prize -- a copy of the Nationalist Times newspaper?
That's nice of you. But I do not get any mail here. It all goes to the Courthouse. I'm afraid the prissies over there will poop their panties if they see it. ;)