DISQUS... In my state there are basically few obstacles to tying the knot. A couple does not even need a blood test anymore. There is no waiting period. Most ministers require couples counseling prior to performing the ceremony, but if you opt to utilize a government official for your service you do not have to wait.
Divorce, on the other hand, is quite an ordeal. My state has the most strict divorce laws in the country. There is a 60 day waiting period. In order to get divorced, a couple has to agree to a no fault divorce or one has to sue the other in court and prove to a judge why the marriage should end (failing to prove so adequately means you stay married).
There is no equity in these laws. One is too lenient and the other is too difficult.
Why is it more challenging to get a driver's license or a passport than it is to get married?
Should marriage laws be more strict?
Should divorce be easier?
Or should they at the very least be of equal difficulty?
Poster Comment:
Kimberly • I think a person should be with someone at least a year before their allowed to tie the knot. A person don't let you see the crazy right away lol +9
gene doane/ Kimberly • Well, sometimes they go crazy. I met my ex-wife at a pizza shop and we had a pepperoni and jalapeno pizza. She seemed perfectly normal. Then about 5 years into the marriage, something snapped and she became a vegetarian. She wanted no meat in our house. Okay, so I'm a bad guy because I like hot dogs? I brought home a roasted chicken from the Kroger and she acted like I was some kind of axe murderer bringing home the victim. She wasn't like that when we got married. I wouldn't have married any vegetarian. Picnics with a vegetarian are no fun at all. What's the entrée? PBJ sandwiches? Oh yummy. Not. To picnic you take a grill and hot dogs, hamburgers, even chicken breasts but you can't grill a PBJ sandwich, that's no fun.
Acinonyx Jubatus • A few years ago, I assisted my mom in obtaining a divorce from her husband of 28 years. My state is supposed to be no-fault, 50/50, community property, blah-blah-blah. He had a decent paying job, and he retired with a nice pension. My mom was employed until she had to have back surgery 12 years into the marriage, at which point he told her to not worry about going back to work. Long story short, he became psychologically abusive to her, then one day, he just up and left. He told her he was going to make sure she died alone, homeless, and totally broke. He almost accomplished that, simply by getting a divorce attorney. He could afford one, she couldn't. As it all played out, he ended up with almost everything, except he has to pay her one third of his monthly pension. So. Not. Fair.
I learned one thing - The legal system views marriage as a **business contract**!!!
The moral of the story is this - If it's going to be treated like a business contract in the end, it should be thus in the beginning as well. It's not about easy or hard, it should be about fairness. The couple should be required to keep a record book consisting of accounting, services rendered, benefit/deficit, etc. Also, attorneys should be eliminated from the process entirely.+2
BrainstormingNetwork Acinonyx Jubatus Your example shows one of many variations. Its complicated! Its complicated by all sorts of things. That idea of fairness is a very loaded concept.
Although the are traditions, rituals, cultural, and societal considerations that some people have to adhere to, the institutional/government requirements are seemingly much more demanding.
It is a partnership just like a business arrangement when things go bad.
Acinonyx Jubatus BrainstormingNetwork • 'Complicated' is a polite way of saying it, to be sure. When people are considering marriage, I think they should be required to at least attend a course, and be tested on the material, which should include the legal implications / consequences of the divorce process. They need to know that it's not always JUST a bed of roses, or maybe it is for some; but roses have thorns.
Drysocks • Marriage is a social construct that's outlived it's time and divorce is essentially about division of property so the obvious solution is a contract. Fixed term with an option for renewal every 5 years. Negotiated...rational...with clearly defined penalties for breach and division of property.