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Immigration
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Title: Why I'm Against Immigration Reform By Barbara Streisand
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URL Source: http://suckersonparade.blogspot.com ... nd-in-debate-over-illegal.html
Published: Mar 27, 2017
Author: aa
Post Date: 2017-03-27 14:31:33 by HAPPY2BME-4UM
Keywords: None
Views: 51
Comments: 3
I have this employee in my housekeeping department we'll call "J". We'll call her that because most Hispanic people have a name starting with the letter J and I strictly forbid my employees from learning the names of each other because name-knowledge promotes needless chit-chat. It would be hypocritical of me not to abide by the same instructions I demand my staff follow, therefore I have no clue as to J's real name.
While reviewing security footage one night with my husband.....what's his name.... I noticed that everyone really seemed to like J. They smiled at her, waved at her, and often made physical contact, which I'm told expresses admiration, support, or just general kindness. The traditions of the everyday little people are simply fascinating!
Coincidentally, J passed me in the hallway the other day. While she was careful to observe the two-foot rule, she did not abide by Chapter 25, Paragraph 15 of the, "Streisand Household Handbook for Successful Dealings with Ms. Streisand," which states, "On rare occasions in which you are lucky enough to come within earshot of Ms. Streisand, you are to refrain from making a single sound with any part of your body, orifice or otherwise, or article of clothing. Violation of this rule could result in termination, and replacement." She dare muttered "Excuse me!"
The reason I became an Academy Award winning superstar singer/actor/director triple threat is so I could talk to other Academy Award winning living legends. If I wanted to talk to maids, I would have taken up house cleaning. Conversations with the help are a waste of my time and a waste of their time. And I'm paying them while they're at my residence. Plus, it's always awkward because I can't understand a word they say. Besides, people don't get paid to talk to Barbra Streisand; people pay to talk to Barbra Streisand.
So why do I care so much about a meaningless staffer that I may have already fired but don't remember? Why do I care so much about a lady that I may eventually have deported because her extra-dark arm hair really grosses me out? Why do I care so much about a woman who may one day accuse me of devouring an entire box of Twinkies because I desperately want to keep a late night binge session secret?
Well, the truth is, I don't. But Babs needs a supply of readily available inexpensive fence jumpers for replacements and full staffing. That's why I'm against Immigration reform!
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