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Title: My buddy had a dumb ass attack...
Source: 4um
URL Source: http://freedom4um.com
Published: Mar 14, 2024
Author: Esso
Post Date: 2024-03-14 23:00:33 by Esso
Keywords: None
Views: 291
Comments: 13

Rainman got a 6' X 2' X 6" Granite slab for free. It's in his dump trailer on a pallet lengthwise, flat, estimated weight 1,200-1,400 lbs. He wants to make a bar top out of it in his backyard on brick pylons on a concrete slab.

Problems:
1. He's a tight-ass and doesn't want to spend money. Hey, it was FREE.
2. It has to go through a 3' immovable gate with a 7.5' overhead clearance and surrounding 8' masonry fence . It has to go through lengthwise.
3. It only has to move horizontally about 35', but the first 20' is over loose gravel, about 5 size, until it's on a slab.
4. Once it's near its near it's destination, it has to move vertically 3', flat, to set it on the pylons.

Any ideas might help.


Poster Comment:

I'm no stranger to moving ultra-heavy equipment, maybe up to 100,000 lbs., but the constraints have me flummoxed.

My initial thoughts:
1. I've been retired 10+ years due to injuries including a broken back, I won't be doing ANY lifting.
2. Strap the slab tightly to the pallet and use the dump function of the trailer to help manhandle and slide it down the trailer ramps which are rated for 10,000 lbs+ to the ground. The trailer height is about 2'.
3. Once the slab is on the ground, manhandle it up on the long edge.
4. Use about eight strong men using wide lift straps to muscle it through the gate and onto a pallet in front of the pylons and lay it back down flat.
5. Use a couple of borrowed/rented engine hoists to make the final lift and roll it into place. The legs of the hoists should easily straddle the pylons. The pylons will be about 14" square.

That's the best I can come up with, so far. Any heavy equipment I know of is not a possibility. I think the biggest problem is the final vertical lift.

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#3. To: All (#0)

Rainman is the exception rather than the rule when it comes to friends. I don't know many folks with money shooting out their ass, except maybe Eric, but he's more Rainman's friend than mine.

My tax-babe, Christa, was asking me about charitable contributions last Friday, and I told her what I do, none of which are deductible.

"You need to stop that Pacman."

"Why? I ain't gonna take it with me."

I don't know why Christa is so fond of me, she saved my ass in 2019 when Turbo Tax fucked me. She fixed it. Then my younger retarded sister's trust fund dumped $60+k on me that should've gone back to the taxpayers, not me, there was one more event, I don't remember what it was. My calendar made it look like we were dating.

She gives me a huge discount every year, I always give it back in flowers and presents for her and the gals. Last year, my appointment was on St. Patrick's Day. She had me and the front office gals doing shots of Fireball.

She's the only thing standing between me and the government. I can't live without her. This year I got her and the gals (and that one weird guy) a dozen Easter colored roses, a box of really fancy chocolates and a "Thank You" necklace (cheap stainless steel) that I got for the message on the box. Dr. Kimmy had final approval, I don't want anybody to think I'm stalking them.

Doc said the first one I picked out was too "forward".

"Are you trying to fuck her, or me?"

LOL.

Esso  posted on  2024-03-15   7:57:01 ET  (1 image) Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: All (#3) (Edited)

Doc said the first one I picked out was too "forward".

Kimmy was right. The symbolism maybe looks like we were married or something. Christa's husband might not have understood or appreciated that.

The dissimilar sized rings would've driven me crazy every time I was in her office.

"Symmetry is your life, Pacman." - Skillethead, Raytheon physicist

Esso  posted on  2024-03-15   8:14:28 ET  (1 image) Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


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