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Title: Society Hates Smart People
Source:
Scribd
URL Source: http://www.scribd.com/doc/8778/Why- ... gent-People-Tend-To-Be-Unhappy
Published: Nov 30, 2007
Author: Unknown
Post Date: 2007-11-30 07:36:09 by YertleTurtle
Keywords: None
Views: 5768
Comments: 111
Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. - Ernest Hemingway, author and journalist, Nobel laureate (1899-1961) Hemingway, who took his own life in 1961, knew his share of both intelligent people and of unhappiness. He lived through two world wars, the Great Depression, four wives and an unknown number of failed romantic relationships, none of which would help him to develop happiness if he knew how. As Hemingway's quote was based on his life experience, I will base the following speculation on both my personal and my professional experience as a sociologist. Not enough study exists to quote on this subject. Western society is not set up to nurture intelligent children and adults, the way it dotes over athletes and sports figures, especially the outstanding ones. While we have the odd notable personality such as Albert Einstein, we also have many extremely intelligent people working in occupations that are considered among the lowliest, as may be attested by a review of the membership lists of Mensa (the club for the top two percent on intelligence scales). Education systems in countries whose primary interest is in wealth accumulation encourage heroes in movies, war and sports, but not in intellectual development. Super intelligent people manage, but few reach the top of the business or social ladder. Children develop along four streams: intellectual, physical, emotional (psychological) and social. In classrooms, the smartest kids tend to be left out of more activities by other children than they are included in. They are "odd," they are the geeks, they are social outsiders. In other words, they do not develop socially as well as they may develop intellectually or even physically where opportunities may exist for more progress. Their emotional development, characterized by their ability to cope with risky or stressful situations, especially over long periods of time, also lags behind that of the average person. Adults tend to believe that intelligent kids can deal with anything because they are intellectually superior. This inevitably includes situations where the intelligent kids have neither knowledge nor skills to support their experience. They go through the tough times alone. Adults don't understand that they need help and other kids don't want to associate with kids the social leaders say are outsiders. As a result we have many highly intelligent people whose social development progresses much slower than that of most people and they have trouble coping with the stressors of life that present themselves to everyone. It should come as no surprise that the vast majority of prison inmates are socially and emotionally underdeveloped or maldeveloped and a larger than average percentage of them are more intelligent than the norm. Western society provides the ideal incubator for social misfits and those with emotional coping problems. When it comes to happiness, people who are socially inept and who have trouble coping emotionally with the exigencies of life would not be among those you should expect to be happy. This may be changing in the 21st century as the geeks gain recognition as people with great potential, especially as people who might make their fortune in the world of high technology. Geeks may be more socially accepted than in the past, but unless they receive more assistance with their social and emotional development, most are destined to be unhappy as they mature in the world of adults. People with high intelligence, be they children or adults, still rank as social outsiders in most situations, including their skills to be good mates and parents. Moreover, they tend to see more of the tragedy in the communites and countries they live in, and in the world, than the average person whose primary source of news and information is comedy shows on television. Tragedy is easier to find than compassion, even though compassion likely exists in greater proportion in most communities.
Poster Comment: I can remember back when I was in middle school (jr. high in those days) and high school, where I noticed the schools were very good at identifying and developing athletes. The ambitious grinds did well making good grades. But, oddly, the most intelligent, sensitive and imaginative...for them there was no place. I remember sneaking into my school file when I was 12 and finding my IQ was listed as 126. Even so, I was required to take shop, where I rolled metal and made a wooden candleholder that caught on fire the first time I lit a candle. All the girls were required to take Home Economics. After they graduated high school, all the boys were supposed to go work at the local steel mill, and the girls stay home and cook and clean. Only now there aren't many jobs at the steel mill, and haven't been for a long time. Thank God for computers. Geeks and nerds have become rich, and I hope they take over the world.
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#1. To: YertleTurtle (#0)
Very interesting analysis. Thanks for posting.
This is a topic that just isn't talked about much in our culture. I think it is in part because people in the "normal" range of 90 - 110 I.Q. resent people who are gifted. (I truthfully doubt many such people visit forums such as this - I suspect most regulars are above the 90-110 range.) People with a high I.Q., unless they come from the right nurturing environment tend to be marginalized and shunted aside by people resentful of that gift. Since they do not perceive the world around them with the same level of clarity, and cannot communicate at the same level they might as well be from different worlds. I still recall the Freight Elevator Operator where my mom worked - a member of Mensa and the 3rd ranked Chess Player in the Northwestern United States. It also reminds me of a kid I knew in college - he came from a poor family and was verrrrrrrrrrrrry gifted. On his own (at age 18) he had been "playing" with advanced Geometries - which his Math Professor described as "this is very interesting may I show it to one of my colleagues"? Of course he ended up dropping out - he was a natural genius that just did not "fit in". I ran into him a couple of years later working a dead-end job, married, on drugs, and raising a child in poverty. Here was a young man who with the right nurturing had a staggering potential but the system was not set up to deal with or accomodate someone of his ability. Instead he was ostracized and marginalized. I think it is even harder on women with a high I.Q. than it is on men. From what I have observed a lot of women with a very high I.Q. tend to become beat down, neurotic, and emotionally damaged - possibly because they are perpetual outsiders their intellectual peer group is so small that unless they are lucky enough to have one or more other such gifted women in their environment they are forced to hide what they are and tend to introvert. Not that the experience is a lot different for men but men are taught to be "self-reliant" and so you suck it in and "deal with it". Women are taught that they must socialize with their peers, but what does a woman with an I.Q. of 140+ have in common with a woman who has an I.Q. of 100 (the mid-point of the "normal" range)? Not very much. It is much like a woman with an I.Q. of 100 associating with one with an I.Q. of 80 (formally the I.Q. defined as a moron). A woman with an I.Q. of 140+ is farther above that 100 I.Q. Girl than that girl is above the moron, and they really do not have much of a common meeting ground. That is simple reality. What are they going to talk about? Britney Spears, Paris Hilton? Gag! I won't beat my own drum other than to say that my I.Q. is above 140 and to add that High School was, for me, living hell (I was not a bad athlete but my mother disapproved of organized athletics and discouraged that as an outlet). By the time I was through the experience I had been so driven inward and become so introverted that I did not speak unless spoken to first. It took me years to get over the experience. (Well what else do you do in High School and are a social outcast - you read - A LOT.) My experience in the Military was not much different but I was better prepared to handle it by then - although I had to learn to "dumb down" my vocabulary. A lot of the guys that I worked with thought I was "talking down to them" and being a snob because of my literate speech. The officers resented having around an enlisted man who spoke better english than they did. I recall a morning debate with a fellow enlisted friend, who was a Mensa member, and we had this young Lieutenant poke in and listen to the conversation who then felt compelled to make some lame-assed comment. As well I recall one senior Officer who had it in for me because he felt I was behaving "above my station" (at the time I was a junior E-4 holding down an E-7 job - thankfully the E-6 I worked for was himself exceptional). People who know me now wouldn't believe how intorverted I was at the end of my 4 years of Hell School, but that is because I learned the art of protective camoflouage later in the service. Now, other than playing around online I rarely use my full vocabulary and am careful not to use twists of humor that fly over the head of people I deal with at work. The reality is that we live in a culture which values mediocrity and "fitting in". The Japanese have an aphorism for those that don't "fit in": "The nail that stands out gets hammered." Kids with high I.Q.'s don't fit in. A lot of what I know now I figured out after the fact - subtle twists of humor that I exchanged with my mother, also well above the norm I.Q.-wise, did not connect with my "peers" in school and they simply thought I was weird because the humor was not at a level they could perceive. Not to be snobbish - I'm not, but I am a realist. After a while you learn to keep your own counsel. Trying to find a date who can make "Dinner Conversation" can be really really tough. The torture of trying to make conversation with a woman who is even a "high normal" can be excruciating. Those occaisions when I have enjoyed the companionship of woman with a higher I.Q. were an incomparable delight. The problem of course is the isolation of having an I.Q. somewhere between normal and an Einstein. You, despite adapting, remain an outcast because only rarely can you take off the social veneer and protective coloration and "open it up" and not have to think about whether the person you are talking to will "get" what you are trying to communicate.
"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One to hold the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored power tools." - Unk.
i understand what you're saying..just by virtue of the fact that we "get it" and are interested in what we're interested in makes us fringe. it's the reason why i enjoy forums like this and enjoy attending events where the attendees are likeminds. it's inspirational and soul nourishing.
Your modesty speaks volumes. Like the other ladies I pinged to the thread, because I wanted to hear a high I.Q. woman's point of view on the subject, I suspect that you, like the rest of us, have to operate at "idle" socially a lot of the time to deal with "normal" people. I would not trade my intelligence for the ability to fit in - like Thoreau I have learned how to keep my own counsel and be my own companion without going nuts. As well I have a few friends who I can open up with - that helps - a lot.
"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One to hold the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored power tools." - Unk.
A woman with an I.Q. of 140+ is farther above that 100 I.Q. Girl than that girl is above the moron, and they really do not have much of a common meeting ground. That is simple reality. What are they going to talk about? Britney Spears, Paris Hilton? Most of the women around the office here read People, InTouch, and other gossip rags, obsess over celebrity scandals, and gossip about other people. I've caught wind of rumors about myself simply because I was seen leaving for lunch with a woman from the building. Trying to find a date who can make "Dinner Conversation" can be really really tough. The torture of trying to make conversation with a woman who is even a "high normal" can be excruciating. Those occasions when I have enjoyed the companionship of woman with a higher I.Q. were an incomparable delight. It's difficult to find good women, especially in southern California where social status and material possessions are a high priority in life for many. Many of the women I've met/dated have admitted to me that they have mountains of credit card debt (much of it from buying clothes/accessories, eating out, and weekend excursions to Vegas). The type of woman I'm interested in would rather watch something on the Science or Discovery Channels than Desperate Housewives. I'd also prefer that they didn't use the word "like" in every sentence. Like, you know, like, when somebody is, like, saying something and, like, they always, like, say "like."
As well high I.Q. women will, and men are the same, try to "fit in" or become neurotic. The last couple of women who I was in close social contact with who had very high I.Q.'s were neurotic as hell (that was a nice office triangle not of my making). Another one I know could put the "K" back in Kinky (appropriately enough she is a P.I.). Having lived there I understand completely - "like gag me with a plastic pitchfork duuuuuuuuude". Personally I regard a trip to Vegas as a business trip where I intend to bring back more than I took - and am good enough of a Poker Player to do it. However, it is not recreation - it is business.
"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One to hold the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored power tools." - Unk.
So many well made points in your post. Thank you.
You are quite welcome, and thank you for the kind words.
"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One to hold the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored power tools." - Unk.
A profound inability to follow cause and effect more than one step is also common. When I dated, I often found myself explaining my statements and breaking them down into digestible pieces. I felt like an elementary school teacher.
Interesting history. The process of converting from an extreme introvert to an expressive & confident adult is very interesting; been there done that. Was anger a factor in your 'transformation'?
"I don't know where Bin Laden is. I truly am not that concerned about him" No, but I was bitter as hell for years. When I went back to College, after the service, I wrote an Essay titled "Of Officers and Men" where I was able to pour a lot of the bitterness out on paper. However, it was a course in communication which cracked open the shell and the rest has been time and experience. I have in part just ceased expecting people to be able to communicate at a level I personally find enjoyable and am gratified whenever I run into someone who can. It is always fun to share experiences on coping with a world where you are, by the nature of who and what you are, always set apart from the majority.
"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One to hold the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored power tools." - Unk.
Exactly! I could not have put it better. You just encapsulated the point I was floundering around trying to articulate. Frustrating isn't it?
"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One to hold the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored power tools." - Unk.
I see I was not included. Interesting.
Very much so. My wife was the first woman I met with whom I could effortlessly communicate. The fact that she speaks three languages and has a Masters in Elizabethan Drama helped.
ping for later read.
Reminds me of one of my best friends in the service - Bachelors in Chemistry, Masters in English Literature, and repaired computers as her vocation. Unfortunately she was already taken. I was deeply in love with her but am old fashioned about such matters. The last woman I dated regularly has a Masters in Education, and worked her way through college as a Stripper. Interesting person and fun to do nerdy things with like go to Art Museums.
"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One to hold the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored power tools." - Unk.
I thought your statements were very precise. Very thought provoking as well. My typing skills are definitely sub-par, so brevity is my friend around here.
Alan, like, I know some, like, real sweet policewomen, who would, like, love to handcuff you and, like, do you in a closet.
Don't get your feathers out of place. There were a couple others I forgot too - and that is what it was - forgot. No offense or sleight intended. You are a bright and witty woman and I would include you in the category as well. Now, please don't hate me forever.
"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One to hold the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored power tools." - Unk.
I thought your statements were very precise. Very thought provoking as well. My typing skills are definitely sub-par, so brevity is my friend around here. Thank you. As Shakespeare pointed out: "Brevity is the soul of wit." Although I rather like Gertrude Stein's rejoinder: "Brevity is the soul of lingerie."
"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One to hold the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored power tools." - Unk.
YertleTurtle, christine, Minerva, robin, ratcat I find that unless they have a feminine screen name, I automatically assume (incorrectly, obviously) everyone to be a white male in their thirties, like me. I didn't realize those you pinged, other than christine, were female.
I'm not claiming to be a genius or anything, but I got straight A's all through parochial school,. My grades dropped significantly in high school; I didn't like it too much at first, but adjusted. I went to a completely sports obsessed school, which I found odd even at the time. Being a Catholic school, It baffled me as to why 'men of God' seemed to be so enraptured and impressed with such trivial nonsense. One alumni from my school who went on to play pro ball ended up in prison, and years later i was tempted to ask the dean 'hey, do ya'll still have that SHRINE dedicated to Mr JockStar in the auditorium?? LOL. One thing i never understand about today's society, no matter which country you go to, the families most often sit in front of the tube after dinner; literally shoveling FECES into their mind, for hours at a time . Ugh.. sad..
"I don't know where Bin Laden is. I truly am not that concerned about him" Not a chance of even hating you for a little while. Just had to give you a hard time. how did you profile us so accurately? ;-/
"I don't know where Bin Laden is. I truly am not that concerned about him" Ever been to South Bend IN?
I thought Yertle Turtle and ratcat were male. I'm taken as male because of my farmfriend handle. My positions on men's rights just makes it worse but then I take it as a compliment to be thought one of the boys.
FYI: Yertle Turtle is a conspiratorial male, who takes to long, sun filled shirtless walks in pug-filled Bermuda shorts.
Accidentally.
It's the highest honor a man can bestow upon a woman.
Guilty as charged, at least in the beginning. I figured it out after a while over at LP though.
Sadly I'm married and live in norther CA. I've never watched Dancing with the Stars, American Idol or Sex in the City.
Does that mean he keeps small dogs in his pockets?
I can understand sadness at living on the left coast.............
I agree.
With two minor exceptions, I can proudly say I have never wasted any of my life watching reality TV.
LOL! smart ass. I was born and raised here. I would have a hard time leaving this state. It's home.
I thought Yertle Turtle and ratcat were male. I'm taken as male because of my farmfriend handle. My positions on men's rights just makes it worse but then I take it as a compliment to be thought one of the boys. I picked it up from a comment from Yertle the other day that she was a she. Ratcat I have known for at least 5 years from Liberty Forum and we are long time online correspondents. She's a fellow Kitchen Gardener. P.S. Thanks for not hating me forever. "How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One to hold the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored power tools." - Unk.
No, not in his pockets. You're warm tho.
Give me a good show on M-Theory any day. I like the ones on super volcanoes, mega tsunamis and why Pluto isn't a planet. Closest thing to reality TV I have watched is Meerkat Manor. I know, they anthropomorphize the meerkats but I still like the show.
Drove thru Indiana once going from Cincy to Illinois. Not sure where south bend is. although i read that the headquarters of liberty dollar is in indiana and the guy who runs that company and is supposedly wanted by the feds, announced that he would be at a pot-luck meeting there yesterday, thursday at 6-9PM. . I wanted to go but it was a little too far now.
"I don't know where Bin Laden is. I truly am not that concerned about him"
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#2. To: YertleTurtle, christine, Minerva, robin, ratcat (#0)
(Edited)
#3. To: Original_Intent (#2)
#4. To: christine (#3)
#5. To: Original_Intent (#2)
#6. To: Alan Chapman (#5)
Most of the women around the office here read People, InTouch, and other gossip rags, obsess over celebrity scandals, and gossip about other people. I've caught wind of rumors about myself simply because I was seen leaving for lunch with a woman from the building.
It's difficult to find good women, especially in southern California where social status and material possessions are a high priority in life for many. Many of the women I've met/dated have admitted to me that they have mountains of credit card debt (much of it from buying clothes/accessories, eating out, and weekend excursions to Vegas).
#7. To: Original_Intent (#2)
A lot of the guys that I worked with thought I was "talking down to them" and being a snob because of my literate speech.
#8. To: angle (#7)
#9. To: Alan Chapman (#5)
The type of woman I'm interested in would rather watch something on the Science or Discovery Channels than Desperate Housewives. I'd also prefer that they didn't use the word "like" in every sentence. Like, you know, like, when somebody is, like, saying something and, like, they always, like, say "like."
#10. To: Original_Intent (#2)
People who know me now wouldn't believe how intorverted I was at the end of my 4 years of Hell School, but that is because I learned the art of protective camoflouage
George W, Bush, 3/13/02 http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2002/03/20020313-8.html
#11. To: Artisan (#10)
Was anger a factor in your 'transformation'?
#12. To: duckhunter, Alan Chapman (#9)
A profound inability to follow cause and effect more than one step is also common. When I dated, I often found myself explaining my statements and breaking them down into digestible pieces. I felt like an elementary school teacher.
#13. To: Original_Intent (#4)
Like the other ladies I pinged to the thread, because I wanted to hear a high I.Q. woman's point of view on the subject, I suspect that you, like the rest of us, have to operate at "idle" socially a lot of the time to deal with "normal" people.
My spelling is Wobbly. It's good spelling but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places. -- Winnie the Pooh
#14. To: Original_Intent (#12)
Frustrating isn't it?
#15. To: YertleTurtle (#0)
#16. To: duckhunter (#14)
Very much so. My wife was the first woman I met with whom I could effortlessly communicate. The fact that she speaks three languages and has a Masters in Elizabethan Drama helped.
#17. To: Original_Intent (#12)
I was floundering around trying to articulate.
#18. To: Alan Chapman (#5)
#19. To: farmfriend (#13)
I see I was not included. Interesting.
#20. To: duckhunter (#17)
I was floundering around trying to articulate.
#21. To: Original_Intent (#19)
You are a bright and witty woman and I would include you in the category as well
#22. To: Original_Intent (#11)
George W, Bush, 3/13/02 http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2002/03/20020313-8.html
#23. To: Original_Intent (#19)
You are a bright and witty woman and I would include you in the category as well.
Now, please don't hate me forever.
My spelling is Wobbly. It's good spelling but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places. -- Winnie the Pooh
#24. To: duckhunter (#21)
George W, Bush, 3/13/02 http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2002/03/20020313-8.html
#25. To: Artisan (#22)
Being a Catholic school, It baffled me as to why 'men of God' seemed to be so enraptured and impressed with such trivial nonsense
#26. To: duckhunter, Original_Intent, YertleTurtle, ratcat (#21)
I didn't realize those you pinged, other than christine, were female.
My spelling is Wobbly. It's good spelling but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places. -- Winnie the Pooh
#27. To: duckhunter (#21)
#28. To: Artisan (#24)
how did you profile us so accurately?
#29. To: farmfriend (#26)
I take it as a compliment to be thought one of the boys.
#30. To: farmfriend (#26)
I'm taken as male because of my farmfriend handle.
#31. To: Alan Chapman (#5)
The type of woman I'm interested in would rather watch something on the Science or Discovery Channels than Desperate Housewives.
My spelling is Wobbly. It's good spelling but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places. -- Winnie the Pooh
#32. To: Jethro Tull (#27)
pug-filled Bermuda shorts.
#33. To: farmfriend (#31)
Sadly I'm married and live in norther CA
#34. To: duckhunter (#29)
It's the highest honor a man can bestow upon a woman.
My spelling is Wobbly. It's good spelling but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places. -- Winnie the Pooh
#35. To: farmfriend (#31)
I've never watched Dancing with the Stars, American Idol or Sex in the City.
#36. To: duckhunter (#33)
I can understand sadness at living on the left coast.............
My spelling is Wobbly. It's good spelling but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places. -- Winnie the Pooh
#37. To: farmfriend, duckhunter, Original_Intent, YertleTurtle, ratcat (#26)
I didn't realize those you pinged, other than christine, were female.
#38. To: duckhunter (#32)
#39. To: duckhunter (#35)
With two minor exceptions, I can proudly say I have never wasted any of my life watching reality TV.
My spelling is Wobbly. It's good spelling but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places. -- Winnie the Pooh
#40. To: duckhunter (#25)
George W, Bush, 3/13/02 http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2002/03/20020313-8.html
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