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Title: The Little Pigs in the Village of the Wrecked Economy.
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Published: Nov 13, 2008
Author: Elliott Jackalope
Post Date: 2008-11-13 21:08:56 by Elliott Jackalope
Keywords: Pigs, Economy, Masochists
Views: 378
Comments: 34

After multiple discussions with those who seem to intentionally choose to be abusive, ignorant and incapable of understanding what I'm trying to say, I've written a little bit of prose in the timeless style of Theodore Geisel, aka "Dr. Suess". It uses anapestic tetrameter, and I really did my best to avoid using big words that frighten and confuse so many of the "special" people on this forum. I did, however, use one big word, "Theocracy", which is defined in the Mirriam-Webster dictionary as being "1 : government of a state by immediate divine guidance or by officials who are regarded as divinely guided 2 : a state governed by a theocracy". Just wanted to be sure to define that word for the less fortunate readers out there who might be frightened and confused by a four-syllable word that's not commonly used on Fox news.

The Little Pigs in the Village of the Wrecked Economy.
By E. J. Suess.

Was a time when the piggies were sad and dismayed
For the plans they had used had just wrecked what they made.
All the work they had done had just fallen to dust,
so they fought and they argued about what went bust.

Said the pious fat pig with the book edged in gold
"We must do as the one true belief has done told!
We must do as the book bound in leather has said,
if we don't then we're doomed, as we've all been misled!"

Said the greed swollen sow with the huge hoard of food
"We must do as the free market says that we should!
We must do as we must for our own selfish need
and the rest will sort out all for the best indeed!"

Said the Marxist comrade with the red book in hand
"We must do what's been done in the Soviet lands!
We must give all the power we have to the state
if we do, only then will we have what is great!"

So they fought and they fussed and much woe did they find
because anger and hate had distorted their minds,
and they battled and slandered and raised a big stink
for they now loved to hate more than they cared to think!

Then one lone piggie stood, barely daring to speak
"I must say to you now that you all are quite bleak,
for you each have decided to do what's been done
and each path that you like has already been run!"

"You who follow the path of the ancient gold book
are so blind you can't see, you will not even look
at the multiple lessons learned from history
of the horrors inflicted by theocracy"

"You who squeal for the 'virtue' of self interest
are the most loud and noxious as you claim what's best
but the moment you stumble you're all first to shout
for the rest of us all to come bail your ass out!"

"As for you, Marxist fool, you're as bad as the rest,
for your way has been tried, and it failed every test!
You oppress and cajole as you plunder and loot,
you just want to be boss with us under your boot!"

Then the lone piggie stood tall while raising his voice
"But the good news is that there is still one more choice!
There's a way that's been used by the far Northern tribes,
It's been fifty plus years and their people do thrive!"

"There's a balance they found between money and need
and a damper they've put on the forces of greed.
They have rich wealthy pigs, tho' they're not rich as kings,
but all the other pigs all have the basic things."

"They have doctors to treat all who come with their ills
and no-one ever goes broke from paying for pills.
They have freedom of speech and have freedom of choice,
and their government listens to the people's voice!"

"They have business to make things that sell overseas
they have health care and college and both jobs AND trees!
They have freedom to worship without fear of jail
And rewards for success yet still help if you fail."

All the other pigs stood up and got in his face,
"You're a Commie!" "A dreamer!" "A Godless disgrace!"
"How dare you say we are not the best in all ways?"
"You're a Nut!" "A Loser!" "Quick, let's put him away!"

So the lone piggie sat down and shut up and thought
and pondered the turmoil that his words had just brought.
And he sat and considered and mused and got mad,
before finally concluding they liked being sad!

It came clear as a bell, it was easy to see
there was nothing they enjoyed more than misery!
Nothing made them angry like one who dared to say
they could choose not to fail and there were better ways!

So the lone piggy turned and went back to his home
and he chose then and there to spend his life alone.
He'd grown tired of fighting with those who love pain,
who kept doing what won't work and just acting lame.

And the moral of the story is:
Don't argue with pigs. It wastes your time and annoys the pigs.

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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 15.

#3. To: Elliott Jackalope (#0)

very well done, EJ.

That method only works if there's homogeny in the population.

but bluegrass makes a good point, agree?

christine  posted on  2008-11-13   21:37:29 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: christine (#3)

Good point or not, what exactly are our alternatives? Maybe Democratic Socialism can't work here, but maybe it can. What's the alternative? Go back to the "golden age" of robber barons? Oh, wait, we tried that under George W. Bush. Didn't work out so good. Go back to a strict "Constitutionalist" system? Um.... right.... yeah, that worked out great... errr, didn't that lead exactly to where we are now?

You know what though? Ultimately what I think and say don't matter anyways. I've spent my life being mocked, ridiculed and ignored. Why should I think that's going to change now? Americans seem perfectly content to ride to Hell in the handbasket of their own making. What the heck... maybe I can make money selling them sleigh bells to attach to the sides. I'm tired and fed up with the people of this country at this point. Trying to educate Americans is like trying to explain to six-year old Down's syndrome victims that putting dog crap in their mouths is a bad idea. All they do is get upset with you and then spew crap all over you. I give up. Read the moral of the story again. I meant every word.

Elliott Jackalope  posted on  2008-11-13   22:13:30 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: Elliott Jackalope (#4)

Go back to a strict "Constitutionalist" system? Um.... right.... yeah, that worked out great... errr, didn't that lead exactly to where we are now?

it was a good working model until we were shafted by our government who allowed the jekyll island creature. you know as well as i that none of this would exist if we had remained on a sound money system. end the federal reserve and the fiat currency debacle. how? i don't know. perhaps the death of the dollar and a total economic collapse will be the catalyst.

christine  posted on  2008-11-13   23:17:04 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: christine (#7) (Edited)

And to walk that dog further back, the Jekyll Island creature (A.K.A. "The Federal Reserve") was, in fact, the THIRD "national bank" to be created. It took three tries, but never let it be said the banksters were anything if not determined. Also, keep in mind that it took a new era in corporate power to make it possible for the Fed to be created in a manner that would allow it to never ever be taken down again, and that era of corporate power can be traced back to the loathsome Supreme Court decision of "Santa Clara County vs. Southern Pacific Railroad Company" in 1886. And all of this was done under the auspices of the Constitution.

Then again, what good does it to do discuss this? To explain to average Americans what really happened? This is like showing a dog a card trick. Let me translate the above paragraph in the way that the "Average American" would see it:

And to walk that dog further back, the wibble wubble flurgle bank to be narfdarf. It took three tries, but wiffzee zooby zeebah offdorf determined. Also, keep in mind faa maa drrrrrr oofty goofty na na naaa na hey hey goodbye, and that era weeful zoobie pingnoodle can be traced back to the loathsome Supreme Court decision of "farbar versus Babar the Elephant" in Roman times. And all of this was fooble wooble the scary big word of the Constitution.

Seriously, why even bother trying to reach out to a nation of drooling retards?

Elliott Jackalope  posted on  2008-11-13   23:27:24 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#12. To: Elliott Jackalope (#9)

Seriously, why even bother trying to reach out to a nation of drooling retards?

Because right now, you might find them more receptive than you think.

In (relatively) good times, you're right.. People laugh at you while patting their wallet full of IOU's we sometimes euphemistically refer to as "money"

In times like these, after the abuses of the last 8 years when they're talking depression.. It's another matter entirely.

Good thread.. Very entertaining.

Jhoffa_  posted on  2008-11-13   23:32:14 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#15. To: Jhoffa_ (#12)

Because right now, you might find them more receptive than you think.

In (relatively) good times, you're right.. People laugh at you while patting their wallet full of IOU's we sometimes euphemistically refer to as "money"

In times like these, after the abuses of the last 8 years when they're talking depression.. It's another matter entirely.

Well, at this point I'm beginning to appreciate the virtues of how "EST" worked. You know, the seminars where the guy leading them spent most of the session telling the audience what a stupid bunch of loathsome assholes they were. People ate that crap up.

I've TRIED to be nice. I just don't feel like being nice any longer. I feel more like taking a nice, solid oak table leg and using it to pound some sense into these loser idiot's noggins. Funny thing, the nastier you are to people, the more they seem to respect you. Go figure. So much for being "Mr. Nice Guy."

Elliott Jackalope  posted on  2008-11-13   23:37:35 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


Replies to Comment # 15.

#19. To: Elliott Jackalope (#15)

LOL! Hey, maybe you're on to something?

I remember a guy from FR. PJ Comix, was his handle.

He sold allot on Ebay and SWORE (He even had a percentage calculated up if I remember right) that putting the drill sergeant from "Full Metal Jacket" in his auctions, screaming "maggot" at people increased his sales..

Jhoffa_  posted on  2008-11-13 23:40:56 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


End Trace Mode for Comment # 15.

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