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Title: The Little Pigs in the Village of the Wrecked Economy.
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Published: Nov 13, 2008
Author: Elliott Jackalope
Post Date: 2008-11-13 21:08:56 by Elliott Jackalope
Keywords: Pigs, Economy, Masochists
Views: 380
Comments: 34

After multiple discussions with those who seem to intentionally choose to be abusive, ignorant and incapable of understanding what I'm trying to say, I've written a little bit of prose in the timeless style of Theodore Geisel, aka "Dr. Suess". It uses anapestic tetrameter, and I really did my best to avoid using big words that frighten and confuse so many of the "special" people on this forum. I did, however, use one big word, "Theocracy", which is defined in the Mirriam-Webster dictionary as being "1 : government of a state by immediate divine guidance or by officials who are regarded as divinely guided 2 : a state governed by a theocracy". Just wanted to be sure to define that word for the less fortunate readers out there who might be frightened and confused by a four-syllable word that's not commonly used on Fox news.

The Little Pigs in the Village of the Wrecked Economy.
By E. J. Suess.

Was a time when the piggies were sad and dismayed
For the plans they had used had just wrecked what they made.
All the work they had done had just fallen to dust,
so they fought and they argued about what went bust.

Said the pious fat pig with the book edged in gold
"We must do as the one true belief has done told!
We must do as the book bound in leather has said,
if we don't then we're doomed, as we've all been misled!"

Said the greed swollen sow with the huge hoard of food
"We must do as the free market says that we should!
We must do as we must for our own selfish need
and the rest will sort out all for the best indeed!"

Said the Marxist comrade with the red book in hand
"We must do what's been done in the Soviet lands!
We must give all the power we have to the state
if we do, only then will we have what is great!"

So they fought and they fussed and much woe did they find
because anger and hate had distorted their minds,
and they battled and slandered and raised a big stink
for they now loved to hate more than they cared to think!

Then one lone piggie stood, barely daring to speak
"I must say to you now that you all are quite bleak,
for you each have decided to do what's been done
and each path that you like has already been run!"

"You who follow the path of the ancient gold book
are so blind you can't see, you will not even look
at the multiple lessons learned from history
of the horrors inflicted by theocracy"

"You who squeal for the 'virtue' of self interest
are the most loud and noxious as you claim what's best
but the moment you stumble you're all first to shout
for the rest of us all to come bail your ass out!"

"As for you, Marxist fool, you're as bad as the rest,
for your way has been tried, and it failed every test!
You oppress and cajole as you plunder and loot,
you just want to be boss with us under your boot!"

Then the lone piggie stood tall while raising his voice
"But the good news is that there is still one more choice!
There's a way that's been used by the far Northern tribes,
It's been fifty plus years and their people do thrive!"

"There's a balance they found between money and need
and a damper they've put on the forces of greed.
They have rich wealthy pigs, tho' they're not rich as kings,
but all the other pigs all have the basic things."

"They have doctors to treat all who come with their ills
and no-one ever goes broke from paying for pills.
They have freedom of speech and have freedom of choice,
and their government listens to the people's voice!"

"They have business to make things that sell overseas
they have health care and college and both jobs AND trees!
They have freedom to worship without fear of jail
And rewards for success yet still help if you fail."

All the other pigs stood up and got in his face,
"You're a Commie!" "A dreamer!" "A Godless disgrace!"
"How dare you say we are not the best in all ways?"
"You're a Nut!" "A Loser!" "Quick, let's put him away!"

So the lone piggie sat down and shut up and thought
and pondered the turmoil that his words had just brought.
And he sat and considered and mused and got mad,
before finally concluding they liked being sad!

It came clear as a bell, it was easy to see
there was nothing they enjoyed more than misery!
Nothing made them angry like one who dared to say
they could choose not to fail and there were better ways!

So the lone piggy turned and went back to his home
and he chose then and there to spend his life alone.
He'd grown tired of fighting with those who love pain,
who kept doing what won't work and just acting lame.

And the moral of the story is:
Don't argue with pigs. It wastes your time and annoys the pigs.

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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 16.

#3. To: Elliott Jackalope (#0)

very well done, EJ.

That method only works if there's homogeny in the population.

but bluegrass makes a good point, agree?

christine  posted on  2008-11-13   21:37:29 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: christine (#3)

Good point or not, what exactly are our alternatives? Maybe Democratic Socialism can't work here, but maybe it can. What's the alternative? Go back to the "golden age" of robber barons? Oh, wait, we tried that under George W. Bush. Didn't work out so good. Go back to a strict "Constitutionalist" system? Um.... right.... yeah, that worked out great... errr, didn't that lead exactly to where we are now?

You know what though? Ultimately what I think and say don't matter anyways. I've spent my life being mocked, ridiculed and ignored. Why should I think that's going to change now? Americans seem perfectly content to ride to Hell in the handbasket of their own making. What the heck... maybe I can make money selling them sleigh bells to attach to the sides. I'm tired and fed up with the people of this country at this point. Trying to educate Americans is like trying to explain to six-year old Down's syndrome victims that putting dog crap in their mouths is a bad idea. All they do is get upset with you and then spew crap all over you. I give up. Read the moral of the story again. I meant every word.

Elliott Jackalope  posted on  2008-11-13   22:13:30 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: Elliott Jackalope (#4)

Go back to a strict "Constitutionalist" system? Um.... right.... yeah, that worked out great... errr, didn't that lead exactly to where we are now?

it was a good working model until we were shafted by our government who allowed the jekyll island creature. you know as well as i that none of this would exist if we had remained on a sound money system. end the federal reserve and the fiat currency debacle. how? i don't know. perhaps the death of the dollar and a total economic collapse will be the catalyst.

christine  posted on  2008-11-13   23:17:04 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: christine (#7) (Edited)

And to walk that dog further back, the Jekyll Island creature (A.K.A. "The Federal Reserve") was, in fact, the THIRD "national bank" to be created. It took three tries, but never let it be said the banksters were anything if not determined. Also, keep in mind that it took a new era in corporate power to make it possible for the Fed to be created in a manner that would allow it to never ever be taken down again, and that era of corporate power can be traced back to the loathsome Supreme Court decision of "Santa Clara County vs. Southern Pacific Railroad Company" in 1886. And all of this was done under the auspices of the Constitution.

Then again, what good does it to do discuss this? To explain to average Americans what really happened? This is like showing a dog a card trick. Let me translate the above paragraph in the way that the "Average American" would see it:

And to walk that dog further back, the wibble wubble flurgle bank to be narfdarf. It took three tries, but wiffzee zooby zeebah offdorf determined. Also, keep in mind faa maa drrrrrr oofty goofty na na naaa na hey hey goodbye, and that era weeful zoobie pingnoodle can be traced back to the loathsome Supreme Court decision of "farbar versus Babar the Elephant" in Roman times. And all of this was fooble wooble the scary big word of the Constitution.

Seriously, why even bother trying to reach out to a nation of drooling retards?

Elliott Jackalope  posted on  2008-11-13   23:27:24 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#14. To: Elliott Jackalope (#9)

Then again, what good does it to do discuss this? To explain to average Americans what really happened? This is like showing a dog a card trick. Let me translate the above paragraph in the way that the "Average American" would see it:

It must be terrible to be a prisoner of ones own brilliance. Perhaps some pomposity might work for you?

Yellow Cake  posted on  2008-11-13   23:36:34 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#16. To: Yellow Cake (#14)

So write your own brilliant essay, jackhole.

Elliott Jackalope  posted on  2008-11-13   23:38:06 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


Replies to Comment # 16.

#20. To: Elliott Jackalope (#16)

Now, now...name calling won't win you friends in the village. And it does take a village, yes?

Yellow Cake  posted on  2008-11-13 23:40:58 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#21. To: Elliott Jackalope (#16)

Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom.

2 And five of them were wise, and five were foolish.

3 They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them:

4 But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps.

5 While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept.

6 And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him.

7 Then all those virgins arose, and trimmed their lamps.

8 And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your oil; for our lamps are gone out.

9 But the wise answered, saying, Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves.

10 And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut.

11 Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, Lord, Lord, open to us.

12 But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, I know you not.

13 Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh.

14 For the kingdom of heaven is as a man travelling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods.

15 And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey.

16 Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents.

17 And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two.

18 But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord's money.

19 After a long time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them.

20 And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more.

21 His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.

22 He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents beside them.

23 His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.

24 Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed:

25 And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine.

26 His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strawed:

27 Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and then at my coming I should have received mine own with usury.

28 Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents.

29 For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath.

30 And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

31 When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory:

32 And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats:

33 And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left.

34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:

35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:

36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

41 Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:

42 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink:

43 I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not.

44 Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee?

45 Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.

46 And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.

Old Friend  posted on  2008-11-13 23:42:30 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


End Trace Mode for Comment # 16.

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