4um: Dakmars Great Race to the F8%#*g patend office contest

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Title: Dakmars Great Race to the F8%#*g patend office contest
Source: Greed and Silliness
URL Source: http://peter_frampton.com(DearLordNoDon'tReallyGoThere)
Published: Dec 25, 2008
Author: Dakmar
Post Date: 2008-12-25 19:53:56 by Dakmar
Keywords: None
Views: 601
Comments: 13

Tonight's subject is anti-lock braking systems. Are they truly compatable with anti-locking principals? I think not. I've had ABS lock on me several times, even those from respected Nip tin stampers...It's a flaw in the system itself. No one little brakey elf can wake up when all it's little elf friends are asleep.
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#1. To: Dakmar (#0)
My anti-lock brake system went out on my Cavalier two years ago. My mechanic told me the needed part cost $1000. So I've haven't had anti-lock brakes for two years, and have had three yellow lights on the whole time.
I just junked the car, which had 525,000 miles on it.
Have gun, will travel.
Turtle posted on 2008-12-25 19:58:43 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#2. To: James Deffenbach, Esso, (#0)
I know I'll be disqualified from competing in the double secret round taking place next spring in Prague, but my guess for the SECRET WORD is: optical mouse
And they write innumerable books; being too vain and distracted for silence: seeking every one after his own elevation, and dodging his emptiness. - T. S. Eliot
Dakmar posted on 2008-12-25 19:59:55 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#3. To: Dakmar (#0)

Nips

Jethro Tull posted on 2008-12-25 20:01:12 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#4. To: Turtle (#1)
My mechanic told me the needed part cost $1000. So I've haven't had anti-lock brakes for two years, and have had three yellow lights on the whole time.
I just junked the car, which had 525,000 miles on it.

That was the right decision for you. My 2001 Mustang starting to hiccup with less than 50K miles, I'm thinking of trading it in for a 58 T-Bird.
Which mutual fund makes bond-o?
And they write innumerable books; being too vain and distracted for silence: seeking every one after his own elevation, and dodging his emptiness. - T. S. Eliot
Dakmar posted on 2008-12-25 20:03:11 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#5. To: Dakmar (#2)
You're thinking you have a dead wheel sensor?
Godfrey Smith: Mike, I wouldn't worry. Prosperity is just around the corner.
Mike Flaherty: Yeah, it's been there a long time. I wish I knew which corner.
My Man Godfrey (1936)
Esso posted on 2008-12-25 20:08:25 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#6. To: Jethro Tull (#3)
If I close my eyes forever....
Right, it's counting to twelve that keeps getting me in trouble.
And they write innumerable books; being too vain and distracted for silence: seeking every one after his own elevation, and dodging his emptiness. - T. S. Eliot
Dakmar posted on 2008-12-25 20:08:42 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#7. To: Esso (#5)
You're thinking you have a dead wheel sensor?

No, all four wheels stopped turning. If all wheels stop on ABS system it stops reacting, I've had it happen many a time, icy parking lot, at slow speeds, but it occurred to me that the same thing could happen at 40, 50, however fast on icy roads. A simple little imager like in optical mouse could detect such a situation.
And they write innumerable books; being too vain and distracted for silence: seeking every one after his own elevation, and dodging his emptiness. - T. S. Eliot
Dakmar posted on 2008-12-25 20:14:41 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#8. To: All (#7)
What does an optical mouse do? It takes a picture ever xxxth of a second and compares it to the last image, that's how it knows it's moved, how far, and in which direction. Someday everyone will be singing my prasies for putting mice in their cars.
And they write innumerable books; being too vain and distracted for silence: seeking every one after his own elevation, and dodging his emptiness. - T. S. Eliot
Dakmar posted on 2008-12-25 20:18:08 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#9. To: Dakmar (#2)
I know I'll be disqualified from competing in the double secret round taking place next spring in Prague, but my guess for the SECRET WORD is: optical mouse

What good is it to have a password if you go around spreading it to all and sundry? ahaha. Good to cybersee you my friend. Hope your day has been a good one.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton
James Deffenbach posted on 2008-12-25 20:21:04 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#10. To: James Deffenbach (#9) (Edited)
Once I got to brush my teeth this morning I was fine. Got all over my Mom this morning about buying a humidifier. :)
Merry Christmas, James.
And they write innumerable books; being too vain and distracted for silence: seeking every one after his own elevation, and dodging his emptiness. - T. S. Eliot
Dakmar posted on 2008-12-25 20:26:55 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#11. To: Dakmar (#7)
OK, I see what you're saying now. I couldn't see the elves because of all the Hall effect.
Godfrey Smith: Mike, I wouldn't worry. Prosperity is just around the corner.
Mike Flaherty: Yeah, it's been there a long time. I wish I knew which corner.
My Man Godfrey (1936)
Esso posted on 2008-12-25 20:32:28 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#12. To: Esso (#11)
the Hall effect

Is that when elves hide because they hate having their picture taken?
And they write innumerable books; being too vain and distracted for silence: seeking every one after his own elevation, and dodging his emptiness. - T. S. Eliot
Dakmar posted on 2008-12-25 20:35:08 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
#13. To: Dakmar (#10)
Merry Christmas to you too my friend.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton
James Deffenbach posted on 2008-12-25 20:36:51 ET Reply Trace Private Reply
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