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Latest Articles: 4play
It's Alright Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)
Post Date: 2009-01-11 23:12:05 by Critter
0 Comments
A Story That Turtle Wrote
Post Date: 2009-01-11 17:20:17 by Turtle
0 Comments
When the nurse brought Sam into the room and his mother first laid eyes on him, she (like many mothers), exclaimed, "Oh, he's beautiful!" The nurse, having dealt with a few hundred newborn infants (sequentially, not simultaneously), had a contrary view of his looks: she rated him one above the bottom, not necessarily for attractiveness, but for being odd-looking. The one below Sam, who had none below him, had preceded Sam by a few days, greeting the doctor and nurses with snarling and scratching. Outwardly the nurse smiled her professional nurse's smile, but inwardly she rolled her eyes upward and thought, "The poor kid looks like a mouse." Although, she did ...
Definition of "Insufferable"
Post Date: 2009-01-11 17:06:17 by Turtle
3 Comments
in·suf·fer·a·ble (n-sfr--bl, -sfr-) adj. Difficult or impossible to endure; intolerable. in·suffer·a·bly adv.
Poster Comment:There are those who claim Turtle is insufferable. Turtle, of course, disagrees! Having a pug who wants to do nothing but sleep on your lap is insufferable.
Dumbest Criminal in the World
Post Date: 2009-01-11 16:57:29 by Turtle
3 Comments
Dumbest
Poster Comment:"If it wasn't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all."
Why Chicks Dig Turtle
Post Date: 2009-01-11 07:58:53 by Turtle
2 Comments
Poster Comment:As I said, I get them, like, in truckloads.
One of Turtle's Truckload of Gurls [Full Thread]
Post Date: 2009-01-10 22:05:50 by Turtle
54 Comments
Mickey the Pug on Turtle's Lap
Post Date: 2009-01-10 19:39:15 by Turtle
11 Comments
Mickey the Pug, who is blind in his shriveled right eye, has calmed down enough to sleep on my lap. Poor thing is about the ugliest pug I've ever seen. But he was a rescue pug, and free for me!
Turtle Shaves His Head
Post Date: 2009-01-10 11:20:34 by Turtle
0 Comments
Since so many guys are shaving their heads these days I decided to try it. My God, am I sorry. I'm sure it's good in the summer but in the winter it's NOT a good thing!
Discovery of a new Element
Post Date: 2009-01-10 10:30:02 by OliviaFNewton
3 Comments
Discovery of a new Element Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected,because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to occur, to take from four days to ...
Turtle Finds Waterfalls in Missouri
Post Date: 2009-01-10 08:24:26 by Turtle
4 Comments
Missouri does have a dozen or so waterfalls, but some of them are about two foot. I ran across this one last week, at Taum Sauk State Park, which is a beautful place in the Ozarks. But just about the whole of southwester Missour -- the real Ozarks -- is breathtakingly beautful. Taum Sauk is more in central Missouri, really not that far from St. Louis (an ugly city that I left a long time ago). Maybe two hours.
Turtle's First Car
Post Date: 2009-01-10 07:18:48 by Turtle
0 Comments
A '67 Datsun 510. I didn't buy it new, but used many years later for $250. It actually ran just fine for the year I owned it, except there was a loose wire under the hood and sometimes the headlight would go off. Then I'd have to jiggle the wires until the lights came back on. Several years ago I saw one for sale in front of a rural farmhouse. The guy wanted -- get this -- $250 for it. I was halfway tempted to buy it, but decided to pass on it. It was really a small car, and these days if I got into a wreck, that would be it.
'Tube Friday - When America was free and diversity a word used to describe shoe styles
Post Date: 2009-01-09 21:11:28 by Jethro Tull
4 Comments
Turtle Finds His Old Car
Post Date: 2009-01-09 21:10:27 by Turtle
10 Comments
I found my old car out in a barn on mom and dad's farm. Such fond memories of my Gremlin. I patched a hole in the muffler with an aluminum can.
"Another Way Out" - Brave Belt
Post Date: 2009-01-09 19:45:27 by Turtle
0 Comments
Poster Comment:I can't remember the last time I heard this song.
The Cologne Turtle Uses [Full Thread]
Post Date: 2009-01-09 07:17:34 by Turtle
51 Comments
Poster Comment:I laid in 400 gallons of this stuff back in '74. It might be enough to last me the rest of my life. It's just one of the reasons I get the chicks, like, in truckloads.
"Living for the Weekend" - Heatwave
Post Date: 2009-01-09 06:09:19 by Turtle
0 Comments
Poster Comment:What a bunch of crazy cats! Dig those threads!
When Pugs Attack
Post Date: 2009-01-09 05:45:22 by Turtle
0 Comments
Elephant-Dog Friendship (awwwwww)
Post Date: 2009-01-09 00:04:27 by christine
4 Comments
www.cbsnews.com/video/wat...5n&tag=main_home_MediaBox
Chicken Police?
Post Date: 2009-01-08 19:11:32 by OliviaFNewton
27 Comments
Turtle's New Used Van
Post Date: 2009-01-07 21:29:23 by Turtle
24 Comments
Since my Cavalier bit the dust with one-half-million miles on it, I bought a red '99 Ford Windstar van, 139,000 miles, $2000. I bought it from a mechanic I know. That particular van is not that good, but the reason I buy well-maintained used car is that the design flaws have all been repaired, They have on this one. If I get 80,000 miles out of it I'll get my money's worth. Never again will I drive a vehicle until it has 480,000 miles on it. The heat was going out because the heater core was clogging up, the headlights pointed in different directions, the struts and shocks were gone, the front seat was broken, the AC compressor was out, it needed an alignment, and the body ...
Hotel California (live acoustic) - The Eagles
Post Date: 2009-01-06 18:55:08 by OliviaFNewton
0 Comments
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_d9P26fvVpw
Poster Comment:Embedding disabled by request... still worth the click and trip. Wonderful version........
"Turn Down Day" the Cyrkle
Post Date: 2009-01-06 18:39:45 by Turtle
0 Comments
Poster Comment:Turtle is actually singing this song right now, in a duo, fueled by red wine.
The Wine Turtle is Drinking
Post Date: 2009-01-06 18:12:18 by Turtle
6 Comments
It's only about $3.50 a bottle and quite tasty for red wine. I actually prefer white. Many women are more pleasant with half a bottle of wine in them. The one here is. Turtle just gets goofier than normal.
Chad Vader Goes Turkey Bowling
Post Date: 2009-01-05 19:42:20 by James Deffenbach
2 Comments
Uncle Jay explains 2008
Post Date: 2009-01-05 10:01:32 by mirage
1 Comments
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