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Latest Articles: 4play
Graffiti Artist's Getaway Crippled by Crutches
Post Date: 2008-02-15 21:02:49 by DeaconBenjamin
1 Comments
A Darwin Awards aspirant in Germany got caught after he a) sprayed graffiti on a train at lunchtime in front of a cop and b) tried to hobble away on crutches. He didn't get far. As a pastime, graffiti enjoys the reputation for evading law enforcement with stealthy getaways under cover of the midnight dark. Subtract these two advantages, and chances for getting nipped by authorities exponentially rise. And so it was for a devious eighteen-year-old youth in Hittfeld, in northern Germany, on Monday, when he began tagging a parked train in the local train station -- at 1 o'clock in the afternoon. An off-duty police officer from Harburg was sitting on the commuter train, the ...
Putin vs. Clinton
Post Date: 2008-02-15 16:13:43 by iconoclast
4 Comments
When Hillary Clinton said, way back in New Hampshire, that Vladimir Putin "doesn't have a soul," I figured that would be the sort of thing the Russian wouldn't be pleased about. But when I called the foreign ministry the next day for comment, it was Orthodox Christmas, and I let it slide. He was asked about the remark at his press conference yesterday, however, and indeed wasn't pleased. The former KGB lieutenant colonel appeared to lash out at U.S. Sen. Hillary Clinton — a leading Democratic candidate for president — when one reporter quoted her as saying that former KGB officers have no soul: "At a minimum, a head of state should have a head," ...
Jeff Dunham and Walter on Letterman
Post Date: 2008-02-15 14:21:04 by James Deffenbach
2 Comments
Jeff Dunham and Walter, Part 1
Post Date: 2008-02-15 08:24:35 by James Deffenbach
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Love: You Have 4 Minutes to Find Your Perfect Mate
Post Date: 2008-02-15 06:23:40 by YertleTurtle
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Love: You have 4 minutes to choose your perfect mate What is the secret to finding the right partner? Two researchers are using unconventional techniques to find out. Matt Kaplan investigates the science of speed dating. Matt Kaplan Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick have probably seen more first dates than most. The social scientists at Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois, have watched hundreds of videos of single people as they participate in a curious, but not unpopular, trend known as speed dating. Two participants spill their souls to each other for a set time, say four minutes, and try to decide whether they might have a future together. When the time is up, they move on to a ...
Some "sex" jokes
Post Date: 2008-02-14 21:46:06 by farmfriend
2 Comments
SOCIAL SECURITY SEX Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!" LOUD SEX A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell." "My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is." "The problem is," she complained, "it wakes me up!" QUIET SEX Tired of a listless sex life, ...
Guess Who?
Post Date: 2008-02-14 19:33:45 by richard9151
5 Comments
Now you all know there was no resisting this one..... Guess Who? A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he's doing. "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine's Day cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer."
The ultimate American sheeple. DEAD in his favorite chair (reclined), remote in hand...
Post Date: 2008-02-14 09:07:42 by Jethro Tull
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Poster Comment: Oh yeah, don't miss the new, silky, black & gold pjs, slippers and beer! And are those a pack of Newports in his ashtray???
Poor Old Man
Post Date: 2008-02-13 20:49:59 by richard9151
2 Comments
I think I know this guy..... Hell! There are times I think I am this guy!! Well, except for the 25 year old wife, of course..... oh, and the rich part..... and the huge luxury apartment, and the lots of money.... shit. The only that works is when I forget where I live.... must some kind of a message in there somwhere..... Poor Old Man An old man is sitting on a park bench crying. A young man is walking by and asks him why he's crying. The old man says, "I'm retired and I have lots of money, a huge luxury apartment, a beautiful 25 year old wife who loves me and has sex with me twice a day" The young man says, "Well then why the hell are you crying!?" The old ...
Still the Same - Seger
Post Date: 2008-02-13 19:32:28 by Lod
2 Comments
new words
Post Date: 2008-02-12 22:39:55 by kiki
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In case you missed it, here are the winners of the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational, which once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary and alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter and supplying a new definition. #3 is especially timely. 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. 3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize that it was your money to start with. 4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid ...
Sealed With A Kiss
Post Date: 2008-02-12 18:04:54 by James Deffenbach
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Still the Same
Post Date: 2008-02-11 21:40:49 by Lod
1 Comments
Dolly Parton Postpones Tour, Blames Breasts
Post Date: 2008-02-11 19:26:03 by Brian S
5 Comments
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Dolly Parton's breasts may be two of the wonders of the entertainment world, but the country music icon says they are a pain in her back. Parton, 62, said on Monday she would postpone her upcoming North American tour after doctors told her to take it easy for six to eight weeks to rest her sore back. "Hey, you try wagging these puppies around a while and see if you don't have back problems," the folksy singer-songwriter said in a statement. The tour was due to begin on February 28 in Minneapolis, two days after the release of "Backwoods Barbie," her first album of mainstream country music in 17 years. She hopes to hit the road in late ...
Burkeman1 in Rare Form tonight
Post Date: 2008-02-09 21:27:20 by F.A. Hayek Fan
8 Comments
For those who enjoy reading Burkeman1's posts, he's in rare form tonight. I laughed so hard I had tears coming out of my eyes. The man has a way with words.
Seal - Crazy
Post Date: 2008-02-09 17:09:36 by Peppa
2 Comments
Poster Comment:A man decides after seventy years That what he goes there for Is to unlock the door While those around him criticize and sleep And through a fractal on that breaking wall I see you my friend and touch your face again Miracles will happen as we trip But we're never gonna survive unless We get a little crazy No we're never gonna survive unless We are a little Cray cray crazy Oh no, never survive, see unless we get a little bit crazy....... no no no never survive, unless we get a little bit....crazy...... a little bit [snippet here and there} In a sky full of people only some want to fly Isn't that crazy In a world full of people only some want to fly Isn't ...
Ananova - Hamster-powered phone charger (This student deserves an 'A+')
Post Date: 2008-02-09 14:33:30 by robin
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Ananova - Hamster-powered phone charger: A 16-year-old boy invented a hamster-powered mobile phone charger as part of his GCSE science project.Peter Ash, 16 with his hamster powered mobile phone cat his home in Lawford, Somerset /EmpicsPeter Ash, of Lawford, Somerset, attached a generator to his hamster's exercise wheel and connected it to his phone charger.Elvis does the legwork while Peter charges his phone in an economically and environmentally friendly way.He came up with the idea after his sister Sarah complained that Elvis was keeping her awake at night by playing for hours on his exercise wheel.'I thought the wheel could be made to do something useful so I connected a ...
Britain's oldest honeymooners (combined age 178) hit the road - with a love story that'll warm your heart
Post Date: 2008-02-08 20:03:42 by robin
1 Comments
Peggy and James Mason - Britain's oldest newlyweds - are holding hands and exchanging sweet nothings. It would be touchingly romantic, were it not for the fact that Peggy, 85 years young, really should have both hands on the steering wheel right now, given that she is in the driving seat of a rather large mobile home which is hurtling down the motorway at speed. "I love you, James, you know, my beautiful James," she coos, clutching her new husband's hand over the gearstick and shouting over the noise of the engine. Scroll down for more... Loved up: Britain's oldest newlyweds, Peggy and James Mason, have a combined age of 178 James's hearing isn't what it ...
The Cab Driver Goes to Heaven
Post Date: 2008-02-08 18:09:25 by richard9151
5 Comments
The Cab Driver Goes to Heaven A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to St. Peter, who looks him up in his Big Book. Upon reading the entry for the cabbie, St. Peter invites him to pick up a silk robe and a golden staff and to proceed into Heaven. A preacher is next in line behind the cabby and has been watching these proceedings with interest. He announces himself to St. Peter. Upon scanning the preacher's entry in the Big Book, St. Peter furrows his brow and says, "Okay, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff." The preacher is astonished and replies, "But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff ...
George W. Bush's Resumé: This individual seeks an executive position. He will be available in January 2009...
Post Date: 2008-02-08 11:19:17 by robin
4 Comments
This individual seeks an executive position. He will be available in January 2009, and is willing (and hopeful) to relocate.RESUMEGEORGE W. BUSH 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue,Washington , DC 20520EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:Law Enforcement:· I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pleaded guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been 'lost' and is not available. Military:· I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid ...
Words
Post Date: 2008-02-07 17:18:03 by James Deffenbach
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Actual Letter to the Canadian Passport Office--Must Read
Post Date: 2008-02-07 13:24:37 by Indrid Cold
3 Comments
Dear Mr. Minister, I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a t.v. cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date. For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my social insurance card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight goddamn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the ...
Wise Old Man
Post Date: 2008-02-07 12:40:15 by richard9151
2 Comments
Wise Old Man A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action. The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like ...
Drunk (UK) student swallows his door key rather than go home
Post Date: 2008-02-07 12:19:06 by robin
1 Comments
This is the picture that solved the mystery of a drunken student's lost door key. Chris Foster had no memory of swallowing the two-inch Yale key at a party to stop his friends taking him home when they decided he had had enough to drink. Scroll down for more...The x-ray showing Chris Foster's door key lodged in his stomach - it stayed in his system for 31 hours The 18-year-old computer design student spent the night on a convenient sofa and did not believe his friends when they told him why he couldn't find his key the next day. When he started feeling unwell, however, he began to suspect they might be telling the truth and went to hospital for an X-ray which revealed the ...
PERHAPS LOVE (TRADUÇÃO)
Post Date: 2008-02-07 11:45:57 by James Deffenbach
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