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Latest Articles: 4play
Turtle Almost Cuts Finger Off
Post Date: 2012-03-30 12:38:22 by Turtle
0 Comments
I was changing a flat tire on my bike -- a Schwinn Sidewinder -- when my left thumb slipped and cut a flap of skin from my right index finger. I looked at it for a second than watched the blood spray. I had no idea what a thumbnail can do to you! Those things are dangerous! You can mangle someone with them! I had to put the flap back in place with a Band-Aid. Then I had to call a woman to come over and play Mommy for a while.
The Darwin 's are out
Post Date: 2012-03-30 10:37:50 by christine
11 Comments
Here is the glorious winner: 1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked. And now, the honorable mentions: 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company inspecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.. The chef's claim was approved. 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to ...
That's It. I'm Going to Kill Him
Post Date: 2012-03-29 14:23:26 by Turtle
0 Comments
Poster Comment:Why this pug didn't rip this guy's throat out when he was sleeping is beyond me.
Turtle is in Heaven
Post Date: 2012-03-28 14:57:17 by Turtle
0 Comments
Click the link to find out why. Unz.org
Turkish Shampoo Commercial Starring Hitler Draws Contempt
Post Date: 2012-03-27 18:10:18 by X-15
5 Comments
An edgy advertising stunt by a Turkish personal care products company, starring Adolf Hitler, has invoked public outrage. The commercial shows Hitler addressing a public, with the following words superimposed: "If you're not wearing women's clothes, you shouldn't be using women's shampoo either. Here it is. A real man's shampoo! Biomen. Real men use Biomen!" Within hours of the advertisement being posted on the Internet, many took to blogs and YouTube, panning the parent company Biomed, while referring to the commercial as "disgusting" and "sick." However, some argued that the commercial doesn't endorse the Nazi party or its leader, ...
Turtle's New Girlfriend
Post Date: 2012-03-27 16:39:40 by Turtle
14 Comments
Lights Out -- "The Dark"
Post Date: 2012-03-27 16:17:07 by Turtle
2 Comments
Poster Comment:I almost went hysterical in the car when I first heard this as a kid. So I made this YouTube video about four years ago.
Age Activated ADD
Post Date: 2012-03-27 11:18:15 by christine
3 Comments
What Kind of Tree Are You?
Post Date: 2012-03-27 00:10:28 by purplerose
37 Comments
What Kind of Tree Are You? www.enchantedwalkabouts.com/whatkindoftree.htm
Got banned from Target today
Post Date: 2012-03-25 23:22:12 by Hmmmmm
7 Comments
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from our local Target. Dear Mrs. Samsel, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samsel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras. 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other ...
3.5 minute break to remember when How? was the more important question than Why?
Post Date: 2012-03-25 12:28:59 by Hmmmmm
3 Comments
Oh, Okay, My Bad...
Post Date: 2012-03-24 16:52:48 by farmfriend
2 Comments
Everything I Needed to Know I Learned from Edgar Rice Burroughs
Post Date: 2012-03-24 13:06:58 by Turtle
12 Comments
I never needed any self-help books about men being from Mars and women from Venus, or how I learned everything I needed to know in kindergarten. All I ever needed was Edgar Rice Burroughs, whom I encountered when I was 11. Burroughs, who isn't really that well-known anymore, is best-known as the creator of Tarzan (who in the books spoke as if he was quoting Shakespeare, a far cry from the "me Tarzan, you Jane" in the movies). But in his day ERB (as he is commonly known) was as popular as Stephen King is now, and was, and still is, hugely influential. Carl Sagan, for example, credited him with interesting him in space exploration and science. Writers such as F. Paul Wilson, ...
A Friday Night "Welcome Back Lod" Music Thread
Post Date: 2012-03-23 17:53:49 by Pinguinite
32 Comments
Seems an appropriate thing to do this evening. Glad you're doing well, Lod.
Defrosted Nazis to Take Over the World!
Post Date: 2012-03-22 13:20:26 by Turtle
8 Comments
Poster Comment:This movie scared the bejesus out of me as a kid. I saw it with some kids about midnight on TV.
"I Saw the Light" - Todd Rundgren
Post Date: 2012-03-21 15:00:58 by Turtle
0 Comments
Poster Comment:This is one of my favorite songs.
Turtle the Gigolo, Inc. Now Half-Price!
Post Date: 2012-03-21 13:45:39 by Turtle
5 Comments
Since I don't want to spend $850 of my own money repairing my van I'm lowering my Gigolo price to $10. That means I only need 850 customers. Shouldn't be too hard.
To Where You Are
Post Date: 2012-03-21 11:35:27 by James Deffenbach
0 Comments
. And the same song done by Chloe Agnew .
Blond Chick Explains MPH
Post Date: 2012-03-21 00:41:25 by christine
13 Comments
Blonde Chick Explains MPH - Watch More Funny Videos
Japanese TSA parody
Post Date: 2012-03-20 14:58:06 by randge
5 Comments
Poster Comment:No comment.
Death by Snu Snu
Post Date: 2012-03-20 14:49:12 by Turtle
3 Comments
FuturamaGet More: Comedy Central,Funny Videos,Funny TV ShowsPoster Comment:What an awful way to die...I think.
Dodgeball--the Greatest Sport Ever
Post Date: 2012-03-20 14:13:51 by Turtle
2 Comments
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) Patches O'Houlihan: If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. Justin: What? [Patches throws a wrench and hits Justin in the face] Patches O'Houlihan: If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball. Patches O'Houlihan: I ain't crazy and I ain't a guy. Peter La Fleur: [after Patches hits Justin in the face with a wrench] Yeah, uh, Patches... are you sure that this is completely necessary? Patches O'Houlihan: Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? Peter La Fleur: Probably not. Patches O'Houlihan: No, but I do it anyway because it's sterile and I like the taste. Peter La Fleur: ...Okay. [while ...
Health Alert
Post Date: 2012-03-20 13:50:39 by Ragin1
8 Comments
When you drink vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure. When you drink rum over ice, it can give you liver failure. When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems. When you drink gin over ice, it can give you brain problems. Apparently, ice is really, really bad for you. Warn all your friends!!
Woola the Martian Hound Dog
Post Date: 2012-03-20 13:38:31 by Turtle
0 Comments
Poster Comment:Uglier than my pug.
The Guerrilla Culinarian [Ep 5] Bangin' Cheesy No B.S. Garlic Bread
Post Date: 2012-03-19 21:18:57 by farmfriend
2 Comments
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