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Latest Articles: 4play
I Make a Dollar from my Blog
Post Date: 2011-01-03 10:58:51 by Turtle
7 Comments
There was a notice in my email saying someone had donated a dollar to my blog. Ha ha ha ha! Someone gave me a WHOLE DOLLAR for reading my blog. If this keeps up soon I will give able to retire and give up my life of crime. In other news, I haven’t yet made any money from being a gigolo, but there’s always hope. I think it’s mostly due to the bad economy. I think I’ll start advertising on Craigslist. I also made $14 from recycling aluminum cans and copper, and recycled 40 pounds of scrap iron, for which I got $6. Unfortunately, scrap iron (steel, tins cans, etc.) is only 15 cents a pound. Aluminum is 65 cents a pound and copper about $3. So I put the entire $20 in ...
Dave Barry's Year in Review: Why 2010 Made Us Sick
Post Date: 2011-01-02 13:16:45 by christine
3 Comments
Let's put things into perspective: 2010 was not the worst year ever. There have been MUCH worse years. For example, toward the end of the Cretaceous Period, Earth was struck by an asteroid that wiped out about 75 percent of all of the species on the planet. Can we honestly say that we had a worse year than those species did? Yes, we can, because they were not exposed to "Jersey Shore." So on second thought we see that this was, in fact, the worst year ever. The perfect symbol for the awfulness of 2010 was the BP oil spill, which oozed up from the depths and spread, totally out of control, like some kind of hideous uncontrollable metaphor. (Or "Jersey Shore.") The ...
Truths for Mature Humans
Post Date: 2011-01-02 11:27:25 by christine
7 Comments
TRUTHS FOR MATURE HUMANS I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. There is great need for a sarcasm font. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? Was learning cursive really necessary? Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. I can't remember the last time I ...
Three giant spaceships to attack Earth.
Post Date: 2011-01-01 19:11:01 by Armadillo
40 Comments
SETI (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence), an independent non-commercial organization, released a sensational statement. Three giant spaceships are heading towards Earth. The largest one of them is 240 kilometers wide. Two others are smaller. At present, the objects are beyond the orbit of Pluto. The spaceships were detected by HAARP search system. The system, based in Alaska, was designed to study the phenomenon of northern lights. According to SETI researchers, the objects are nothing but extraterrestrial spaceships. They will be visible in optical telescopes as soon as they reach Mars's orbit. The US government has been reportedly informed about the event. The ships will reach ...
I need help
Post Date: 2010-12-31 14:07:17 by Jethro Tull
29 Comments
As my good friends, I need your opinions and help. I need your advice for a serious problem. I have suspected for some time now that the little woman has been cheating. The usual signs; phone rings, if I answer the caller hangs up, going out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep. Anyway last night about midnight, I hid in the shed behind the boat, when she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on ...It was at that moment while crouched behind the boat I noticed .... a hairline crack in the outboard mounting bracket ..... Is that ...
Chaz Salvatore Bono
Post Date: 2010-12-31 12:42:18 by christine
3 Comments
chazbono.net/index.html just wow
NY's Dumbest; NYC sanitation workers destroy a Ford Explorer
Post Date: 2010-12-28 14:37:29 by farmfriend
0 Comments
Ada, bush_is_a_moonie, Twenty Twelve
Post Date: 2010-12-28 14:18:25 by christine
5 Comments
I've manually confirmed you at www.4umOffline. For some reason, I didn't get the registration emails.
Women Jokes
Post Date: 2010-12-28 14:03:55 by Original_Intent
8 Comments
When a man marries Miss Right, he never realizes that her first name is Always. Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? A: When she starts her sentence with, A man once told me ... Q: What happened to the only man that finally figured women out? A: He died laughing. Q: how do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? A: hand your wife a shovel There's a woman in a bar and this man goes up to her and they get to talking for hours and eventually the woman grabs the man and says "Make me feel like a woman" so he takes of his jacket and says "I need this ironed." Q: How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex? A: Call her. Q: How do you turn ...
Setting on Fire Everything I Could Find
Post Date: 2010-12-27 12:41:28 by Turtle
3 Comments
As a little boy I enjoyed playing with fire. The reason I no longer have any of my plastic ships, tanks and airplanes is that I set all of them on fire or else blew them up with firecrackers. It’s also the reason I don’t have any of my Little Green Army Men, either. I melted all of them (the worthless ones went first, like Mine Sweeper Guy). It was great. I also set myself on fire, sort of. I’d take the plastic bag the bread came in, wrap it around a stick, and set it on fire. When the plastic melted it would drip and make a zip zip zip noise. Each droplet would stay on fire until it hit the ground. Had I been in special effects in the movies or radios, I would have used ...
My Cat Karma is in the Plus Category
Post Date: 2010-12-27 12:23:38 by Turtle
10 Comments
I don’t even like cats. I’m a pug person. Yet I’ve never saved a pug. But for some reason, I’ve been in two situations in which I tried to save one cat, and did save another. So, my cat karma being in the plus category, no cat can bother me again for the rest of my life. The first encounter with the miserable world of helpless-and-harmless-animal-eating-murdercats was when I was about 11 or 12. I was walking home along a road that was deserted except for a grain elevator. Since it was Saturday, the elevator was closed. I suddenly heard a meowing from the side of the road. When I investigated I found a kitten in the weeds. He – or she – was about two months ...
My Blackberry Is Not Working! - The One Ronnie, Preview - BBC One
Post Date: 2010-12-26 04:00:31 by farmfriend
0 Comments
HoCoMoJo - The Mall in Columbia Christmas Holiday Flash Mob
Post Date: 2010-12-25 22:50:54 by christine
6 Comments
Poster Comment:Love, love, love this!
i am santa claus
Post Date: 2010-12-25 22:09:06 by freepatriot32
2 Comments
Larry the Cable guy-Red Neck Christmas Carol
Post Date: 2010-12-25 14:02:21 by abraxas
1 Comments
X-M@$ - Corey Taylor (language warning)
Post Date: 2010-12-25 11:05:46 by christine
14 Comments
merry christmas freedom4um members
Post Date: 2010-12-25 01:03:06 by freepatriot32
15 Comments
I WAS A TEENAGE TV ANTENNA
Post Date: 2010-12-24 11:58:53 by Turtle
16 Comments
When I was a child and a teenager the TVs were a lot different than the ones today. For one thing it took four people to move one because they were full of vacuum tubes, and all were supposed to look like furniture, so the exterior was made of wood. My mother used to wax ours with Lemon Pledge. She would also put decorations on top, like a bowl of wax fruit – apples and a banana. Another thing is that for years TVs were black-and-white, so when color arrived, many of the programs were still in black-and-white. Some were in color, so when a color program was going to come on, our new color TV would announce, “In Living Color.” Then there was the problem with the reception. ...
The Ultimate Road Trip Playlist — 50 Best Road Trip Songs [Full Thread]
Post Date: 2010-12-24 06:43:59 by Bill D Berger
61 Comments
No road trip is complete without a playlist of songs that capture the spirit of traveling on the open road. So we’ve compiled a list of the 50 best road trip songs. In order to make this be-all end-all totally definitive list that all other lists look up to, the songs had to meet the following criteria: a.) encompass the excitement and freedom of road tripping b.) make the time pass faster c.) keep you awake without the assistance of questionably legal pills named “No Doze” d.) contain lyrics so singable that you’ll legitimately consider trying out for the next “American Idol” e.) keep you distracted long enough to make you forget you need to pee ...
Flirting, and how to score
Post Date: 2010-12-23 18:53:04 by Armadillo
27 Comments
A new survey of online flirting by dating website Badoo.com has found that the best Internet chat-up line for men to use is: "You have beautiful lips." "We have found the Holy Grail of flirting," said Badoo Director of Marketing Lloyd Price.... Complimenting a woman's lips was the most successful overall, but other lines worked best in particular countries. American, French, Italian or Brazilian women were more responsive to "You dress beautifully." Brits preferred praise for their legs, Spaniards responded to compliments about their hair, while Germans and Canadians preferred skin praise. Dutch and Portuguese women liked: "You have beautiful ...
UFC -Kitten vs. Pug
Post Date: 2010-12-23 12:26:19 by Turtle
9 Comments
Suicide bombers go on strike
Post Date: 2010-12-21 10:54:59 by christine
6 Comments
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% next February, from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife. The suicide bomber's union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (BOOM) responded with a statement that this was ...
It reached 72 degree's in North Texas today...
Post Date: 2010-12-20 18:31:43 by X-15
37 Comments
...and I'm wearing shorts and a polo shirt. Tomorrow is supposed to hit 73. If you live further north and were freezing today, well, it sucks to be you!! Bwahahahahahaha....
THE DIGITAL STORY OF NATIVITY - ( or Christmas 2.0 )
Post Date: 2010-12-20 18:30:59 by farmfriend
1 Comments
'tube - O'Bummer doo wop musical parody
Post Date: 2010-12-20 13:19:08 by Jethro Tull
0 Comments
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