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Latest Articles: 4play
The Adorableness of Turtle
Post Date: 2010-12-20 11:13:53 by Turtle
9 Comments
"Straight No Chaser" with "Christmas Can Can"
Post Date: 2010-12-20 02:47:30 by farmfriend
1 Comments
Invasion of the Bureaucrats
Post Date: 2010-12-19 14:50:49 by Turtle
4 Comments
The Scene: a Restaurant and the Street Outside. Grammy: I’ll have a cheeseburger, a piece of cheesecake and one of those drinks with the little umbrella in it. Waiter (apologetically): Sorry, ma’am, but this morning the government has declared those foods harmful, so we can no longer serve them. They're illegal. Grammy: The drink with the umbrella isn’t a food. Can I still have one? Waiter: Nope. Grammy: What do you have? (Looks at menu.) Raw carrots? Decaffeinated herbal tea? Zucchini? Are you trying to finish me off? Waiter: The government is here to protect us, ma’am. Grammy: It isn’t here to protect me or anyone else. It’s here to hurt all of ...
Willie Nelson on his 75th birthday bemoans"I have outlived my pecker."
Post Date: 2010-12-19 14:06:19 by Jethro Tull
18 Comments
Whether or not you are a country music fan, these are truly the words of a deep thinker, and a highly intelligent person. So simple, yet so profound! Read the words of wisdom from that famous philosopher Willie Nelson, iconic country and western singer, on his 75th birthday below his esteemed portrait. Only a man with such wisdom and maturity could be so concise and succinct in phrasing his feelings at this turning point in his life. "I have outlived my pecker." The Penis Poem My nookie days are over, My pilot light is out. What used to be my sex appeal, Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord, From my trousers it would spring. But now I've got a full time ...
A Gang of Cowardly Cats Attack a Pug
Post Date: 2010-12-18 12:27:50 by Turtle
1 Comments
CONCENTRATION TEST FOR MEN OVER 50 (Adult Content)
Post Date: 2010-12-17 19:56:51 by Jethro Tull
22 Comments
As you age your powers of concentration are diminished. This seems to affect men more often than women. The degree of loss can be determined by clicking on the word 'test' ... Good luck!
www.gjk2.com/test/test.swf
The True Story of Rudolph
Post Date: 2010-12-17 13:36:45 by Original_Intent
3 Comments
A man named Bob May, depressed and brokenhearted, stared out his drafty apartment window into the chilling December night. His 4-year-old daughter Barbara sat on his lap quietly sobbing. Bob's wife, Evelyn, was dying of cancer Little Barbara couldn't understand why her mommy could never come home. Barbara looked up into her dad's eyes and asked, "Why isn't Mommy just like everybody else's Mommy?" Bob's jaw tightened and his eyes welled with tears. Her question brought waves of grief, but also of anger. It had been the story of Bob's life. Life always had to be different for Bob. Small when he was a kid, Bob was often bullied by other boys. He was ...
A Black Man and a Gay Man meet in a bar
Post Date: 2010-12-17 12:45:23 by Jethro Tull
7 Comments
At the end of a tiny deserted bar in downtown Detroit sat a huge black man. He was having a few beers when a short, well dressed, and obviously gay man walked in and sat beside him. After three or four beers, the gay man got the courage to say a few words to the big black man. Leaning over towards him, he whispered, "Do you want a blow job?" At this, the massive black man leaped up with fire in his eyes, and smacked the crap out of the gay man, knocking him swiftly off his stool. He proceeded to beat him all the way out of the bar before leaving him bruised and battered in the parking lot and returning to his seat. Amazed, the bartender quickly brought over another beer to the ...
Turtle Saves a Vicious Evil Ungrateful Stupid Cat
Post Date: 2010-12-17 10:48:12 by Turtle
8 Comments
About 15 years ago I was standing in front of the apartment one of my employees lived in, waiting for him, when I saw one cat chasing another across the street. They began to fight in front of a storm drain, and after about two seconds one fell in. The other ran off. These drains had the fifty-pound circular iron cover on top of them. I got a crowbar out of my car trunk and pulled the cover up and off to one side. About 12 feet down, at the bottom of a vertical tunnel lined with ancient brick, and in about six inches of water, along with cans and some Styrofoam, was a wet cat, looking up at me. Now how was I supposed to get this cat out? If I didn’t, he was dead. I looked in my ...
My new favorite version of this song
Post Date: 2010-12-16 13:53:13 by ghostdogtxn
4 Comments
How to Be a Gigolo
Post Date: 2010-12-16 12:38:59 by Turtle
11 Comments
Gigolos are handsome, cultured men who receive money, housing and other favors from a rich, older woman. A gigolo differs from a male escort because a gigolo tends to form an emotional bond with his benefactress over time. Gigolos are the male version of the "trophy wife." They are chosen as a partner by a moneyed woman because of their looks or charm, not true love. .Difficulty: Moderately Challenging Instructions 1.Dress well when you become a gigolo. Most well-heeled women like their boy-toys to look good so they can show them off to friends and family. If you can't afford at least one Armani suit, improvise as best you can with less expensive styles. 2. Show up at ...
Banker's Son
Post Date: 2010-12-16 09:40:48 by ghostdogtxn
0 Comments
Fifteen Minutes
Post Date: 2010-12-15 22:03:35 by Armadillo
1 Comments
A Group of male lawyers lived and died for their Saturday morning round of golf. One transferred to another city. It wasn't the same without him. A new woman lawyer joined their law firm. She overheard the guys talking about their golf round. She said, "You know, I used to play on my golf team in college and I was pretty good. Would you mind if I joined you next week?" The three guys looked at each other. Not one of them wanted to say 'yes', but she had them on the spot. Finally, one man said it would be okay, but they would be starting early -- at 6:30 am. He figured the early tee-time would discourage her. The woman said this may be a problem, and asked if she could ...
Texting for Seniors
Post Date: 2010-12-14 15:21:29 by Jethro Tull
10 Comments
ATD: At The Doctor's BFF: Best Friend Farted BTW: Bring The Wheelchair BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth CBM: Covered By Medicare CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center DWI: Driving While Incontinent FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers FWIW: Forgot Where I Was FYI: Found Your Insulin GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low! GHA: Got Heartburn Again HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On? LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out LOL: Living On Lipitor LWO: Lawrence Welk's On OMMR: On My Massage Recliner OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas. ROFL... CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing... And Can't Get Up SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop TTYL: Talk To You Louder WAITT: Who Am I Talking ...
Everyone Pay Two Cents to Read my Blog
Post Date: 2010-12-12 15:30:10 by Turtle
17 Comments
I put a PayPal donatiion button on my blog and put a notice that everyone who read my blog had to donate two cents. I expect to make about 50 cents a year.
Achmed the Dead Terrorist
Post Date: 2010-12-12 12:30:03 by buckeroo
0 Comments
'tube - An Irishman's take on the banking swindle
Post Date: 2010-12-12 12:28:39 by Jethro Tull
3 Comments
Now the Japanese are making fun ofUS
Post Date: 2010-12-11 23:30:53 by Itistoolate
2 Comments
Vintage Bob Seger - Turn The Page
Post Date: 2010-12-11 22:34:21 by christine
7 Comments
Poster Comment:this is fine...
The Brokeback movie ruined things for Cowboys!
Post Date: 2010-12-11 11:41:09 by Jethro Tull
11 Comments
Don't Try This At Home Kids !!! (50 Caliber fun. )
Post Date: 2010-12-11 06:34:12 by noone222
8 Comments
Poster Comment:hehehehe ... all feds have watermelon heads !
Seven Nation Army
Post Date: 2010-12-11 01:32:03 by Rube Goldberg
3 Comments
www.youtube.com/v/6j7huh5Egew?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385">
Potted Meat Review
Post Date: 2010-12-10 14:04:16 by L Ron Paul Hubbard
4 Comments
Potted Meat Food Product There aren't too many products that feel the need to reassure you that they are, in fact, "food." Already not a good sign. The list of ingredients is long and horrifying, coming right out of the gate with "MECHANICALLY SEPARATED CHICKEN." Oddly enough, I'm about to be separated from my lunch, and I haven't even opened the can yet. Other ingredients include BEEF TRIPE, BEEF HEARTS, AND "PARTIALLY DE-FATTED COOKED PORK FATTY TISSUE" How does one de-fat fat? Bizarre. God knows what else is in here. Okay, I'm going to go try it now. If i'm not back in ten minutes, call Poison Control... I'm back. Oofah. ...
"Help! I've Fallen and Can't Get Up!"
Post Date: 2010-12-10 12:18:29 by Turtle
4 Comments
'tube California Welfare Vacations
Post Date: 2010-12-10 10:02:33 by Jethro Tull
14 Comments
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