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Latest Articles: 4play
Redneck Fire Alarm
Post Date: 2010-05-25 11:52:34 by Turtle
0 Comments
Best positions in bed
Post Date: 2010-05-25 08:15:18 by Itistoolate
4 Comments
get your head out of the gutter www.funzug.com/index.php/...est-positions-in-bed.html
Crazy Child-Care Interviews
Post Date: 2010-05-23 20:08:55 by James Deffenbach
7 Comments
Crazy Child-Care Interviews While working as the director of a child-care and preschool facility, I often interviewed many people for positions like preschool teacher or school-bus driver. Surprisingly, many of the applicants were rejected, because in a nutshell, there was no way that I was going to let them within ten feet of a kid, let alone trust them in a room alone with a while classroom full of them. These are some of the crazy things I have heard over the years from those that thought they would make perfect preschool teachers: Question: How long have you worked in the child development field? Answer: "Well, I was a kid for like 12 years or so but I grew up fast so maybe 10 ...
Something about you
Post Date: 2010-05-22 13:13:29 by Artisan
0 Comments
But there was something about you I want you to know It brought a change over me It's startin' to show I got this feelin' inside, gotta have you, have you Ain't no good to hide. It isn't easy To show what I'm feeling inside, girl It isn't easy I know, to believe in a man like me Like me, can'tch see I gotta gotta have you But there was something about Yeah there was something about you.
Poster Comment:heard this on the radio yesterday for the 1st time in years. good tune ;-)
They Live: A Cult Classic Is On AMC Tonight
Post Date: 2010-05-21 22:00:11 by Horse
3 Comments
They Live is a science fiction cult classic. I had a boss once who was Jewish and said this movie was anti=Semitic. Anyway it starts in a couple of minutes on AMC cable in my time zone.
Layoff Letter
Post Date: 2010-05-21 17:45:51 by christine
2 Comments
Lay-off letter from an excellent boss. Dear Employees: As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%. But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead. This has really been bothering me since I believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who would have to go. So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found sixty 'Obama' bumper stickers on ...
Crystal Bowersox (American Idol) at age 13
Post Date: 2010-05-21 12:20:04 by christine
3 Comments
Poster Comment:Crystal sounds exactly like Jewel (one of my favorite singers) here. This song is beautiful.
The Boxer
Post Date: 2010-05-20 21:31:53 by Lod
38 Comments
Two guys meet up in a bar
Post Date: 2010-05-20 20:54:32 by X-15
5 Comments
The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!" "Whoa, what the happened to him?" "Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window." "What a horrible way to die!" "No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up ...
Pawnbroker rules
Post Date: 2010-05-20 20:52:01 by X-15
6 Comments
King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesustein, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesustein said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it." "But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the king!" Croesustein replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."
Little John the Baptist
Post Date: 2010-05-20 12:39:52 by James Deffenbach
3 Comments
Johnny's Mother looked out the window and noticed him "playing church" with their cat. He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it. She smiled and went about her work. A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water. She called out, "Johnny, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!" Johnny looked up at her and said, "He should have thought about that before he joined my church."
Tractor-fight!!!
Post Date: 2010-05-19 19:00:30 by X-15
2 Comments
Poster Comment:Nobody drives a tractor like Chiranjeevi! For the first time the whole scene, complete and uncut, on Youtube
158 YEARS AGO THIS WEEK
Post Date: 2010-05-18 12:47:51 by Jethro Tull
6 Comments
158 YEARS AGO THIS WEEK Do you know what happened this week back in 1850, 158 years ago? California became a state. The State had no electricity. The State had no money. Almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gunfights in the streets. So, basically, it was just like it is today, except the women had real breasts and the men didn't hold hands.
One More Try
Post Date: 2010-05-17 15:27:24 by James Deffenbach
10 Comments
Poster Comment:The "comma mama" from FR must have put the lyrics on this one.
One More Day
Post Date: 2010-05-17 14:21:19 by James Deffenbach
0 Comments
Elusive Butterfly
Post Date: 2010-05-17 13:54:07 by James Deffenbach
11 Comments
You Sang To Me
Post Date: 2010-05-17 13:35:02 by James Deffenbach
3 Comments
Can't Fight The Moonlight
Post Date: 2010-05-17 13:26:46 by James Deffenbach
0 Comments
A Mexican, an Arab, and an Arizona girl
Post Date: 2010-05-17 12:24:13 by christine
3 Comments
A Mexican, an Arab, and an Arizona girl are in the same bar.
When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass
in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots
the glass to pieces.
He says, 'In Mexico, our glasses are so
cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'
The Arab, obviously impressed by this,
drinks non-alcohol beer (cuz he's a Muslim!),
throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots
the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the Arab World, we have
so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with
the same one twice either.' The Arizona girl,
cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp,
throws the ...
Girls and Bugs
Post Date: 2010-05-16 13:56:00 by Turtle
37 Comments
I once had a girlfriend who was probably the most fearless woman I’ve ever known but the first time she encountered a cicada infestation she collapsed. This was a woman who at five years old decided to shimmy 20 feet up a light pole, sit at the top, and wave to the passing cars. When I asked her if any of her parents found out, she said her mother, used to such things, came to the pole and wearily asked her to come down. She also told me that, also at the age of five, when she found out some guy was picking on her older brother, she marched to his house to beat him up. I have forgotten the outcome of that one. Once, in Branson, Missouri, she wanted to go on a ride that you’d ...
To Where You Are
Post Date: 2010-05-14 15:40:58 by James Deffenbach
6 Comments
Physchic Friend, Shirley Q. Liquor
Post Date: 2010-05-13 22:29:02 by James Deffenbach
2 Comments
Handlebars
Post Date: 2010-05-13 13:06:57 by Rube Goldberg
17 Comments
The Diary of a Pug
Post Date: 2010-05-13 11:10:06 by Turtle
2 Comments
7:59 am: ZZZZZZZ 8:00 Time to stand on Food Guy’s chest and stare at him until he wakes up. “Wake up, Food Guy! Wake up!!!” 8:00: 01 Food Guy is awake! Mission accomplished! 8:05 Ahhh...food! It’s great! I don’t know what it is! I never know what it is, but it’s FOOD!!! And it’s great!! 8:12 Oh boy! The leash! That means a walk! 8:13 Ahhh…nothing starts the day like peeing on a tree! Or is this a fire hydrant? 8:17 This looks like a good place to poop. I think I’ve pooped here before. Not too sure about that, though. 8:20 Ack! Quit jerking on my leash, Food Guy! It’s not like you never tried to hump a female! 8:22 I have to pee ...
Turtle is Going to Purgatory!
Post Date: 2010-05-12 12:21:22 by Turtle
1 Comments
A woman I know, a devout Catholic, told me I'm going to Purgatory. And she means it, too. When I asked her if there would be girls there, she told me she wasn't going to answer that question because I was being facetious. I mean, just how bad can Purgatory be? If there's girls and booze and big-screen TVs, it can't be that bad, can it?
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