|
Latest Articles: 4play
Turtle is Moved by This Email
Post Date: 2009-04-16 10:52:24 by Turtle
4 Comments
DEAR FRIEND, GREETING IN THE NAME OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST.I AM MRS.MONIQUE MMADIMBO,A WIDOW TO LATE MIKALLE MMADIMBO. I AM 50 YEARS OLD,I AM A NEW CHRISTAIN CONVERT, SUFFERING FROM LONG TIME PANCREATIC CANCER,FROM ALL INDICATION MY CONDITIONS IS REALLY DETERIORATING AND IT IS QUITE OBVIOUS THAT I WON'T LIVE MORE THAN SIX MONTHS,ACCORDING TO MY DOCTORS,THIS IS BECAUSE THE CANCER STAGE HAS GOTTEN TO A VERY BAD STAGE. MY LATE HUSBAND WAS KILLED DURING THE COTE'D IVORE CIVIL WAR, AND DURING THE PERIOD OF OUR MARRIAGE WE COULD'NT PRODUCE ANY CHILD. MY LATE HUSBAND WAS VERY WEALTHY AND AFTER HIS DEATH, I INHERITED ALL HIS BUSINESS AND WEALTH.THE DOCTORS HAS ADVISED ME THAT I MAY NOT ...
Susan Boyle - Britains Got Talent 2009 (YouTube)
Post Date: 2009-04-16 10:16:33 by christine
16 Comments
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk (embedding disabled)
5 Secrets to a Perfect Relationship
Post Date: 2009-04-14 21:47:37 by X-15
4 Comments
1. It is important that a woman helps you around the house and has a job. 2. It is important that a woman makes you laugh. 3. It is important to find a woman you can count on and doesn't lie to you. 4. It is important that a woman is good in bed and loves making love to you. 5. It is VERY important that these four women never meet.
Turtle's Guilty Pleasure
Post Date: 2009-04-14 21:31:55 by Turtle
0 Comments
"Go Back" - Crabby Appleton
Post Date: 2009-04-13 20:25:54 by Turtle
0 Comments
Poster Comment:Turtle heard this on the radio today, and realized he hadn't heard it since high school. I couldn't even think of the band's name. Thank God for Google.
AAADD
Post Date: 2009-04-13 00:36:15 by christine
6 Comments
AAADD KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ! Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Somehow I feel better,even though I have it!! Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. So I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills ...
Turtle's Favorite Comedy Program
Post Date: 2009-04-12 17:46:50 by Turtle
3 Comments
Poster Comment:Red Dwarf, a British program no longer being made. This episode is titled, "Psirens." This is the second of three parts, all available at YouTube.
Grandpa's IRS Audit
Post Date: 2009-04-11 19:39:28 by christine
15 Comments
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not Surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you lead an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.' I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?' The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.' Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.' The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.' Grandpa ...
Kanye says 'South Park' put him in check
Post Date: 2009-04-10 13:17:09 by Refinersfire
1 Comments
NEW YORK – "South Park" may have accomplished the impossible — getting Kanye West to check his ego. The Comedy Central show skewered the famously self-important rapper on its show Wednesday night, painting him as a narcissistic figure so out of touch with reality he couldn't even take a (very politically incorrect) joke. West's love of himself and his work has been almost as integral to his image as his music: Just last year, he told The Associated Press that he was the "voice of this generation." Also recently, he was quoted as saying his greatest regret was not being able to see himself perform live. Yet, on his blog Thursday, West appeared ...
Turtle's Car Dealership
Post Date: 2009-04-08 23:10:29 by Ferret Mike
2 Comments
--
Poster Comment:No used cars were hurt or abused in the making of this video. Isn't that right Turtle?
Wrong Email Address
Post Date: 2009-04-08 21:03:28 by farmfriend
0 Comments
Wrong Email Address A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email. Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from ...
The Shortest Short Story Ever
Post Date: 2009-04-08 16:03:14 by Turtle
2 Comments
"The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock at the door."
Poster Comment:This is a story called "Knock" by Fredric Brown. I don't think it's possible to have a shorter story.
Turtle's Favorite Food
Post Date: 2009-04-08 07:58:11 by Turtle
3 Comments
I don't know why, but I just love this and eat it every day. Take some oats (crushed, cut, rolled), soak them overnight in filtered water with some lemon juice. Put them in a crockpot, add some water and raw cream. Heat it up. Before it's done, add a pinch of sea salt. When it's done, you're got porridge! It's cheap, nutritious, and fills me up for several hours. And it tastes great. Maybe it's a genetic thing, I don't know. Porridge is very much a Scottish thing and I'm about three-quarters Scots-Irish.
When TV Reached its Peak
Post Date: 2009-04-07 20:48:58 by Turtle
19 Comments
Poster Comment:Three channels and always something to watch. Now I have 100...and still only watch three channels.
Spray for 'six times longer' sex
Post Date: 2009-04-07 20:33:56 by Jethro Tull
12 Comments
Spray for 'six times longer' sex Premature ejaculation can be distressing for couples A spray can help men with premature ejaculation problems prolong the length of time they have sex by six times. Men who used the treatment five minutes before having intercourse extended their love-making from half a minute to almost four minutes, trials showed. The spray, developed at the Royal Victoria Hospital in Belfast, contains local anaesthetics that numb the penis. A British Journal of Urology International study says it could be available in the next couple of years. Up to 40% of men experience premature ejaculation at some time in their lives, experts estimate. It improved both ...
A REDNECK LOVE POEM
Post Date: 2009-04-07 10:52:56 by James Deffenbach
8 Comments
SUSIE LEE DONE FELL IN LOVE, SHE PLANNED TO MARRY JOE. SHE WAS SO HAPPY 'BOUT IT ALL, SHE TOLD HER PAPPY SO. PAPPY TOLD HER, SUSIE GAL, YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER. I'D JUST AS SOON YO' MA DON'T KNOW, BUT JOE IS YO' HALF BROTHER. SO SUSIE PUT ASIDE HER JOE AND PLANNED TO MARRY WILL. BUT AFTER TELLING PAPPY THIS, HE SAID, 'THERE'S TROUBLE STILL.' YOU CAN'T MARRY WILL, MY GAL, AND PLEASE DON'T TELL YO' MOTHER. BUT WILL AND JOE, AND SEVERAL MO' I KNOW IS YO' HALF BROTHER. BUT MAMA KNEW AND SAID, MY CHILD, JUST DO WHAT MAKES YO' HAPPY. MARRY WILL OR MARRY JOE; YOU AIN'T NO KIN TO PAPPY.
Poster Comment:Ain't love grand? ...
'tube - Harlem, NY political poll
Post Date: 2009-04-07 10:43:12 by Jethro Tull
3 Comments
A cannibal
Post Date: 2009-04-06 19:35:38 by Esso
5 Comments
A cannibal was walking in the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu... Tourist: $5 Broiled Missionary: $10.00 Fried Explorer: $15.00 Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00 The cannibal called the cook over and asked, "Why such a price difference for the politicians?" The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one? They're so full of shit it takes all morning."
A bus load of politicians
Post Date: 2009-04-06 19:24:09 by Esso
2 Comments
A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer, after seeing what had happened, went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole to bury the politicians. A few days later the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone. The old farmer said he had buried them. The sheriff asked the old farmer, 'Were they all dead?' The old farmer replied, 'Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how those bastards lie.
'tube - Ray Stevens on taxes
Post Date: 2009-04-06 18:33:18 by Jethro Tull
1 Comments
Diane's Favorite Song
Post Date: 2009-04-05 16:07:59 by Turtle
27 Comments
Poster Comment:If she ever shows up here again.
Member of "The View" says goodby to Bush
Post Date: 2009-04-05 15:07:21 by Itistoolate
2 Comments
Funeral for Lucky the Fish (guaranteed to make you smile)
Post Date: 2009-04-04 23:47:33 by christine
2 Comments
Houndawg's Favorite Song
Post Date: 2009-04-04 23:01:23 by Turtle
5 Comments
Poster Comment:The high point of his life.
Cynicom's Favorite Song
Post Date: 2009-04-04 22:52:02 by Turtle
0 Comments
Poster Comment:He practices it every night.
Latest [Newer] 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 [Older]
|