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Latest Articles: All is Vanity
How to Prevent Yourself from Being Brainwashed
Post Date: 2011-06-18 12:29:23 by Turtle
15 Comments
Since it is the nature of people to understand stories more easily than most anything else, I will tell one. Let's call it a fairytale. Once upon a time, not so long ago and not so far away, there was a large, prosperous village than unfortunately had an idiot for a king. Unfortunately, his advisors were idiots, too. Down the road a bit was another village, one that was tiny and poor and not a threat at all to our large, prosperous village. Somehow, the Idiot King, along with his idiot advisors, got it in their heads the poor, tiny village had a insane homicidal maniac for a king. Along with that, many of the people in the village were also supposed to be insane homicidal maniacs. ...
Glenn DRECK trying to keep getting money from his FAUX News audience with Internet TV subscription service
Post Date: 2011-06-18 04:17:51 by Coral Snake
0 Comments
I just found out what Glenn DRECK is cooking up after he leaves FAUX News. It seems that he is setting up an Internet TV subscription service to be called GBTV to cost about 50 dollars a year in the standard version and 100 dollars a year on the premium version. It seems that this is the rout that Glenn is taking to wrangle money from what is left of his addicted FAUX audience. I see this as another failure for Glenn as he is simply not revealing enough about the elite "Progressive" movement to be of interest to anyone anymore and has simply made himself into a maudlin pseudo televangelist with a "grin and bear it" doom and gloom message bearing NO REAL SOLUTIONS to the ...
Wasabi schols?
Post Date: 2011-06-10 19:11:32 by Dakmar
6 Comments
I hardly ever start a thread here about the idiots on ElPee, but this one screamed out the need for a good mocking:#33. To: Infowarrior (#30) It's a private, religious school. So are wasabi schools. domer posted on 2011-06-10 13:07:34 ET Reply Trace At question is a Mennonite university's right to decide which songs will be promoted at school events, apparently domer and his band of idiots believe the Military Industrial Complex should be responsible for such decisions. Them or Japanese mustard vendors...Are we at war with japanese mustard vendors? Does wasabi taste good on Freedom Fries, or should we stick with French's?
We Did This To Ourselves.
Post Date: 2011-06-04 09:43:33 by TommyTheMadArtist
15 Comments
We did this to ourselves. We the people, did this to ourselves. WE, WE and nobody else, did this to ourselves. I'm sure that all of us who thought in 2000, when Bush II got elected, that our country would head in a positive direction. Little did we know that during the Clinton Administration, the stage was set for an economic collapse, one of which conveniently took place on 9-11, with the ENRON scandal and others. During the course of 8 years, our dollar was devalued, corporations went bankrupt, got bailouts, and the tax payer had the debt to pay. In 2008, the beginning volleys of collapse started taking place, and we started to see huge problems with Goldman And Sachs, AIG, ...
If You're Drowning, Pray for a Newfoundland
Post Date: 2011-06-02 11:27:29 by Turtle
4 Comments
Poster Comment:It'd be a better world if Turtle ran everything.
World fails to end on cue.
Post Date: 2011-05-21 23:37:55 by Armadillo
3 Comments
OAKLAND, Calif. – They spent months warning the world of the apocalypse, some giving away earthly belongings or draining their savings accounts. And so they waited, vigilantly, on Saturday for the appointed hour to arrive. When 6 p.m. came and went across the United States and various spots around the globe, and no extraordinary cataclysm occurred, some believers expressed confusion, while others reassured each of their faith. Still, some others took it in stride. ... "I can't tell you what I feel right now," he said, surrounded by tourists. "Obviously, I haven't understood it correctly because we're still here." Click for Full Text!
Poster ...
Why We Should All Be Concerned.
Post Date: 2011-05-02 18:07:01 by TommyTheMadArtist
17 Comments
The news last night was that Obama's crew got Bin Laden. Today I read the news, and the first thing I saw, was "The Obama Bounce". This was a little blurb saying that since Obama got OBL, that he's a guaranteed 2 term president. Regardless of whether or not this is true, or whether or not Osama has been killed, we are still living under the potential economic collapse that is imminent. I did not see a dramatic drop in oil prices did you? In fact, what I read, was that the muslim world is angered that he was killed, and that there would be a horrific retribution inflicted on America. So, we now have a guarantee of a false flag event staged in the United States sometime ...
WTF??? BIN LADEN DEAD ON MAY DAY???
Post Date: 2011-05-02 00:44:30 by TommyTheMadArtist
8 Comments
So, I come upstairs and the wife tells me that Osama Bin Douchebag is dead. She saw it 20 minutes ago online. I check to see if the story is legit, and so far, it seems it is. Now, a few things come to mind when I heard this. The first is Tora Bora. Back then, we were told nobody got out of there alive, and if Binny was able to, his ass was likely to be dying shortly after, because it was destroyed. The second thing, is the fucker was on Dialysis. The prick had a kidney problem, or a lack of kidneys. You think Steve Jobs, an American has that kind of longevity ahead of him? Oh hell no. I have a hell of a time believing that this guy survived all that time in Pakistan, In a Mansion, ...
A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words
Post Date: 2011-04-28 13:13:45 by Turtle
6 Comments
Uncle beats nephew over Facebook
Post Date: 2011-04-25 08:33:19 by TooConservative
11 Comments
BLEACHING HAIR CAUSES BRAIN DAMAGE
Post Date: 2011-04-21 12:18:44 by sizzlerguy
4 Comments
According to Dr. Martin Pratt of Brandine University, and Dr. Benjamin Staines of the Center for the Institute of Studies, hair bleaching causes brain damage. Hydrogen peroxide, the key ingredient, will seep into the skull, and kill brain cells. "We have all heard the jokes about dumb blonds, and I wondered if they were really all dizzy," said Dr. Pratt. "I decided to do a scientific study. I met many blonds who matched the stereotype, and other blonds who clearly did not. It was not long before I noticed an uncanny pattern. Natural blonds were not dumb or dizzy at all. Many of them were highly intelligent, coordinated, and sensible. Bleach blonds demonstrated negative ...
Atlas Shrugged
Post Date: 2011-04-18 18:12:43 by Turtle
1 Comments
Haven't seen it, probably won't, but I refer to the novel as the Talmud Lite for Naive Goyim. Worse than worthless -- dangerous for the innocent.
What’s Behind the Multicultural Freak Show
Post Date: 2011-04-16 16:05:49 by Turtle
1 Comments
Western man towers over the rest of the world in ways so large as to be almost inexpressible. It’s Western exploration, science, and conquest that have reveled the world to itself. Other races feel like subjects of western power long after colonialism, imperialism and slavery have disappeared. The charge of racism puzzles whites who feel not hostility, but only baffled good will, because they don’t grasp what it really means: humiliation. The white man presents an image of superiority even when he isn’t conscious of it. Superiority excites envy. Destroying white civilization is the inmost desire of the league of designated victims we call “minorities. -Joseph Sobran, ...
Muslim Inbreeding
Post Date: 2011-04-16 13:53:37 by Turtle
9 Comments
Nicolai Sennels is a Danish psychologist who has done yeoman work on Muslim immigrants. An article August of last year details the consequences of Muslim inbreeding (“Muslim Inbreeding: Impacts on intelligence, sanity, health and society.“) Sennels cites data showing that on average around 50% of marriages in the Muslim world are consanguineous, with predictable effects of low intelligence and mental and physical disorders. Consanguineous marriage is lower among immigrants to the West than in the immigrant-sending countries–e.g., 55% among Pakistani immigrants to Britain versus 70% in Pakistan. The consequences to Western societies are obvious: Expenses related to mentally ...
Seven Ideas You Can Never Discuss on Television
Post Date: 2011-04-15 14:19:31 by Turtle
9 Comments
In 1972 comedian George Carlin famously delineated the “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television.” All seven words dealt with bodily parts or functions at a time when such things were simply not mentioned in polite company. If anything, Carlin was understating the case—back then, I don’t remember anyone on TV even suggesting that nipples existed, much less coming out and saying “tits.” In the intervening decades, society has not only shed such taboos, it has actively embraced vulgarity. At least on cable TV, one is now allowed—in some cases encouraged—to not only say all seven of those words, but to use them in a single sentence while ...
Humiliation, Revenge and Murder
Post Date: 2011-04-14 11:49:09 by Turtle
8 Comments
“The infernal serpent; it was he whose guile/Stirred up with envy and revenge/Deceived the mother of mankind…” – Paradise Lost All human evil in the world is explained by the myth of Adam and Eve and their sons Cain and Abel – the archetypical dysfunctional family. I consider it the most important story in Western culture. Since it’s Biblical in origin, even though it’s as much mythology as the Iliad and the Odyssey, you’ll never see it taught in public schools. While the story of the Garden of Eden is not literally true, it is part of the oral tradition of mythology – a story, refined through hundreds if not thousands of years, that ...
Turtle Watches Man Hurl Himself on Forehead
Post Date: 2011-04-13 13:52:05 by Turtle
3 Comments
I occasionally work at a nursing home a few days a month. I was in the dining room alone with a late-stage Alzheimer's patient in a total vegetative state who I watched jackknife out of his wheelchair and land on his left eyebrow, splitting it to the bone. He didn't make a sound. He's in the hospital now, in quite bad shape. The law prevents us from restraining these people. Thirty years ago there were two million people with Alzheimer's. Now there's 20 million. The money spent on these people through Medicare is just astronomincal and gets worse every day.
Born to run: Maxine turns 16!
Post Date: 2011-04-13 13:11:29 by Artisan
10 Comments
Our beloved dog Maxine turned sixteen. She is a great dog & is still amazingly going strong. For a ~50lb dog that is quite the old age. She is 1/2 Samoyed & half lab mutt.She had a bath & was so happy. I hope i move like that at an equivalent 100+ years!
Poster Comment:see video below.
The Easiest Way to Tell a Lett-Libertarian from a Right-Libertarian
Post Date: 2011-04-07 14:09:26 by Turtle
3 Comments
A right-libertarian knows that Martin Luther King was a woman-beating, adulterous, plagarizaing Commie sleazebag, and left-libertarians don't.
Turtle’s Free Guide to Creating Serial Killers, Mass Murderers, Rapists and Abusers
Post Date: 2011-04-07 10:43:36 by Turtle
9 Comments
First, start with a boy, because males are the ones who are really responsible for the truly awful violence the world. Then, from the day he is born, physically and emotionally abuse him. Especially have his mother and other females do it. The men can also engage in it or not protect him. Continue it throughout his childhood. Emotionally and physically abuse and humiliate him. A lot. Do it though middle school. The kids there, especially the girls, can ignore and humiliate him. Continue it through high school and until he graduates. Then, make sure there are no good jobs available to pay a middle-class wage. Impoverish them. Make sure there is no place to turn unless it’s ...
The Worst Problem in the World
Post Date: 2011-04-05 18:44:20 by Turtle
4 Comments
After thinking about this for several years, I have concluded brutally humiliating people is the worst problem in the world. It is, however, the reverse side of the coin. On the other side is hubris—arrogance, moral blindness, wanton violence. Hubris always leads to humiliating people. And I do mean always. Then it's followed by revenge. This observation is not new with me; it's why the ancient Greeks said the Hubris is fated to be followed by Nemesis—vengeance. It's also the story of Cain and Abel, the Iliad, the Odyssey, Moby-Dick, The Count of Monte Cristo, Stephen King's Carrie, John D. McDonald's The Green Ripper, and Alfred Bester's The Stars my ...
what is the fascination about posts having the name "TURTLE" in them? Is there a mental problem associated with this syndrome?
Post Date: 2011-04-05 11:44:44 by Itistoolate
20 Comments
Armadillo touches a woman.
Post Date: 2011-04-04 00:04:17 by Armadillo
34 Comments
This story involves a lesbian sending mixed signals, an incomprehensible deity, Match.com, a turd in a pool, and a hot tub. It ends with a nice lady named Donna. For some time I've had a crush on my lesbian coworker. Unable to reconcile my feelings, and her mixed signals, I turned to God. At first I thought God would help me get over her, then I thought He wanted us together, now I have no idea. I'm starting to think maybe God doesn't give a crap what I do or don't do regarding my coworker. So I got tired of second guessing myself, second guessing God, and the lesbians mixed signals, and joined Match.com in hopes of finding a woman. I have had a few nibbles at my profile, ...
A Shot to the Gonads
Post Date: 2011-04-01 15:41:23 by Turtle
4 Comments
My four-year-old nephew, not knowing what he was doing, punched me in the left one, laughed, then whacked me in the right one. I instinctively slapped me three times about the top of his head, mostly ruffling his hair. He burst into tears and explained, "That wasn't fair! I hit you TWO times and you hit me THREE times!" Kids are way too literal sometimes.
Turtle Says: BWAHAHAHA!!!
Post Date: 2011-03-29 16:21:53 by Turtle
8 Comments
"I have found female-dominated workplaces to be unfocused and ill-managed, consumed by office politics, less competitive and less ambitious, and I have found male-dominated workplaces to be more focused and better-managed, less consumed by office politics, more competitive and more ambitious."
Poster Comment:A woman wrote this! BWAHAHA!!! It's exactly what I've noticed, and why I will never again work in a place with a lot of women, or where there are a lot of them in management. The men have to carry them.
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