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Title: The 7 Deadly Sins of Gilligan's Island
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Published: Jun 25, 2009
Author: Unknown
Post Date: 2009-06-25 07:28:15 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 179
Comments: 7
The Seven Deadly Sins of Gilligan's Island theory is quite simple. Each of the seven characters on the island represents each of the seven deadly sins. Now, this theory seems to fit upon initial inspection, there are technical difficulties when you get down to THE MAN himself, Gilligan. Run with me on this one . . . The Numbered Cast The Prof. 1. Most obvious is the Professor, who fits PRIDE to a T. Any man who can make a ham radio out of some wire and two coconuts has to be pretty cocky. His character was later revised and given a series of his own, called "MacGyver." Farm Grrl 2. For the sin of ENVY we need look no further than Maryann, who may have worn those skimpy little tops, but could never achieve Ginger's glamour. (As an interesting and completely irrelevant side note, a nationwide survey of college students a few years ago revealed that the professor and Maryann were voted the most likely couple to have 'done it' on the island.) Juan Hot Tamale 3. And who could doubt for a moment that Ginger is LUST incarnate? Sure, the kids were supposed to think she was ACTING, but we all know what being deprived episode after episode was doing to her. You know and I know that glazed look wasn't boredom, my friends. Mista Howell 4. What kind of person takes a trunk full of money on a three-hour cruise? Mr.Howell gets my vote for GREED. We are now left with three characters and three Deadly Sins. We have Gilligan, the Skipper and Mrs. Howell to whom we must match GLUTTONY, SLOTH and ANGER. As you can see, there is a Gilligan problem here. JACK SHIT! 5. Certainly we can further eliminate Mrs. Howell from this equation by connecting her with SLOTH. She did jack shit during her many years on the island and everybody knows it. The Skipper Toooo 6,7. This leaves ANGER and GLUTTONY, either of which the Skipper had no shortage. He was, after all, a big guy with the tendency to hit Gilligan with his hat at least once an episode. After much consideration, I have decided that he can easily do double-duty, covering the two remaining Deadly Sins. So here we have the Seven Deadly Sins trapped in an endlessly recurring Hell of hope followed by denial and despair, forced to live with each other in our TVs until the last re-run ends. And who is their captor? What keeps them trapped there? Gilligan. SATAN SATAN FAUST Gilligan is SATAN. Think about it.
Poster Comment: Gilligan also always wore RED!!! This shit is Illuminati mind control!!! Or is it British bankers? The NWO? The Masons? The Catholic Church? Jews? All of them? Paranoia is a good thing. Keeps us on our toes and makes us see things that aren't there.
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#1. To: Turtle (#0)
Straw man???
Click for Privacy and Preparedness files
Created, produced, and written by Sherwood Schwartz.
“However weak the individual white man, his ancestors produced the greatness of Europe; however strong the individual black, his ancestors never lifted themselves from the darkness of Africa.” -- Carlton Putnam
Gilligan found the local "maui waui" weed patch, he NEVER wanted to leave that island.
_________________________________________________________________________ Turtle likes gasolina.
“However weak the individual white man, his ancestors produced the greatness of Europe; however strong the individual black, his ancestors never lifted themselves from the darkness of Africa.” -- Carlton Putnam
It's like with pygmies. There's no single allele exclusive to them and which they all have that makes them short but rather a number of alleles, each slightly more common among pygmies than in others, the combined effect of which shrinks them all way down.
“However weak the individual white man, his ancestors produced the greatness of Europe; however strong the individual black, his ancestors never lifted themselves from the darkness of Africa.” -- Carlton Putnam
Did you know that they got stiffed on commissions and didn't get paid for any shows in sindication?
“Some say that the age of chivalry is past, that the spirit of romance is dead. The age of chivalry is never past, so long as there is a wrong left unredressed on earth.” Charles Kingsley
That horrible song? Uh uh.
This shit is Illuminati mind control!!! Or is it British bankers? The NWO? The Masons? The Catholic Church? Jews? All of them?
#2. To: Turtle (#0)
Author: Unknown
#3. To: Turtle (#0)
And who is their captor? What keeps them trapped there? Gilligan.
"This man is Jesus,” shouted one man, spilling his Guinness as Barack Obama began his inaugural address. “When will he come to Kenya to save us?”
-Schweizerische Schuetzenzeitung (Swiss Shooting Federation) April, 1941
#4. To: PSUSA (#1)
#5. To: Turtle (#0)
All of them?
#6. To: Turtle (#0)
#7. To: Prefrontal Vortex (#4)
Turtle likes gasolina.
There's no place better thanTurtle Island.
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