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Title: Turtle Tries to Roll His Own
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Published: Jul 1, 2009
Author: Turtle
Post Date: 2009-07-01 07:02:00 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 487
Comments: 17
Yesterday I stopped at a little neighborhood convenience store to get a bottle of chocolate Yoo-Hoo (yummmm) and I noticed the store had a bowl of rolling papers on the counterm, for the roll-your-own-reefer crowd. I wondered what pipe tobacco would taste like rolled, so I bought a pack. Incidentally, there was a drunk, mauldlin woman in the store, hugging everyone, who just smiled at looked at the ceiling. The clerk asked me to show her where the popsicles were, because when she looked in the freezer she couldn't find them. so I got hugged, too. The things Turtle puts up with. When I got home I tried to roll a cigarette, more than once. Forget it. I failed every time. From now on I'll stick to cigars and an occasional pipe. Never could figure out how people rolled their own.
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#1. To: Turtle (#0)
"Satan / Cheney in "08" Thats turtle. He cant do anything right.
My brother in law does it with one hand.
isn't reefer a moister consistency than tobacco so it's easier to roll? i thought people had to use some sort of device to roll regular cigs.
The smooth criminal transition from Bush/Cheney to Obama
This is going way, way back, but I remember seeing guys who could roll smoke with one hand after they had the tobacco on the paper. There's probably 'tube videos of it...
My brother in law was able to do it all with one hand. He only had one so there was no cheating.
For some reason, I'm lol on that one. Thanks.
Are you guys messing with Turtle again? Cuz if you are, Turtle will MESS YOU UP!! He was mess you up so fast you won't know what hit you. Both of you will just start crying like little girls whose dolls have fallen out the window onto the interstate. So don't mess with Turtle, unless you want to get MESSED UP!!
He cant do anything right. Turtle may be Turtle, but he couldn't get hired as an extra in a Clint Eastwood western if he can't roll one while staring down The Man With No Name.
_________________________________________________________________________ So you just use a Bong? ;)>
"Satan / Cheney in "08" Cig papers are smaller than reefa papers and tobacco is cut differently than the way reefa comes off the stem. If you grind the smoke into powder it rolls easier, but "Bolshevik roll ups" (with tobacco) is a practiced art that I mastered at the age of 16. (Being from VA where tobacco was our first new world export I was given tobacco in the school lunch program-just kidding but almost) The secret to consistent hand rolled smokes is to break the tobacco into two little piles with a gap in the middle, and as you gently roll it (with slightly moistened fingertips) the tobacco is rolled to the middle and to both ends, and (hopefully) results in a uniform diameter cigarette. Otherwise it looks like a python that swallowed a UN Delegate (leaving a large lump in the middle of the snake) and may be mistaken for "Nixon contraband."
I never had any problem with Strawberry Reefer Rollers when I was 17, but damn if I can roll an ordinary cigarette.
It works a lot better. I used a whole pack of papers to roll one cigarette.
The flavored papers are thicker and intended to impart flavor to the joint, and they'll tolerate a lot of abuse. But, cig papers are very thin (we're not supposed to taste the paper) and they will tear very easily with the slightest misdirected finger pressure. Starting with two even piles of terbacky is half the battle so all one needs to do is roll it and lick it. It's when folks try to shape the cig after the rolling has begun that problems often pop up.
I cheated on my right hand once. I spent a lovely night with my left hand. I did feel guilty afterward however.
O come on, here's you with your stash.
#2. To: tom007, turtle (#1)
#3. To: Turtle (#0)
Never could figure out how people rolled their own.
"The hour is fast approaching, on which the Honor and Success of this army, and the safety of our bleeding Country depend. Remember officers and Soldiers, that you are Freemen, fighting for the blessings of Liberty - that slavery will be your portion, and that of your posterity, if you do not acquit yourselves like men."
--George Washington, General Orders, August 23, 1776
#4. To: Turtle (#0)
bowl of rolling papers on the counterm, for the roll-your-own-reefer crowd.
#5. To: christine (#4)
#6. To: All (#5)
of course -
#7. To: lodwick, christine (#5)
This is going way, way back, but I remember seeing guys who could roll smoke with one hand after they had the tobacco on the paper.
"The hour is fast approaching, on which the Honor and Success of this army, and the safety of our bleeding Country depend. Remember officers and Soldiers, that you are Freemen, fighting for the blessings of Liberty - that slavery will be your portion, and that of your posterity, if you do not acquit yourselves like men."
--George Washington, General Orders, August 23, 1776
#8. To: farmfriend (#7)
He only had one so there was no cheating.
#9. To: tom007, Cynicom (#1)
There's no place better thanTurtle Island.
#10. To: Cynicom, farmfriend, lodwick, tom007 (#2)
Thats turtle.
"This man is Jesus,” shouted one man, spilling his Guinness as Barack Obama began his inaugural address. “When will he come to Kenya to save us?”
-Schweizerische Schuetzenzeitung (Swiss Shooting Federation) April, 1941
#11. To: christine (#4)
isn't reefer a moister consistency than tobacco so it's easier to roll?
#12. To: Turtle (#0)
#13. To: christine (#4)
isn't reefer a moister consistency than tobacco so it's easier to roll? i thought people had to use some sort of device to roll regular cigs.
There's no place better thanTurtle Island.
#14. To: HOUNDDAWG (#12)
The secret to consistent hand rolled smokes is to break the tobacco into two little piles with a gap in the middle, and as you gently roll it
There's no place better thanTurtle Island.
#15. To: Turtle (#13)
I never had any problem with Strawberry Reefer Rollers when I was 17, but damn if I can roll an ordinary cigarette.
#16. To: farmfriend (#7)
He only had one so there was no cheating.
This guy may be prowling 4um: |
Used Tires Amityville, Babylon, Lindenhurst
#17. To: Critter (#16)
snickering
"The hour is fast approaching, on which the Honor and Success of this army, and the safety of our bleeding Country depend. Remember officers and Soldiers, that you are Freemen, fighting for the blessings of Liberty - that slavery will be your portion, and that of your posterity, if you do not acquit yourselves like men."
--George Washington, General Orders, August 23, 1776
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