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Title: The Texan and his Truck
Source: [None]
URL Source: http://lafourche.k12.la.us/teymard/boudjoke/22.asp?s=22
Published: Dec 13, 2009
Author: .
Post Date: 2009-12-13 16:57:06 by James Deffenbach
Keywords: None
Views: 142
Comments: 8

One day, Boudreaux was sitting on his porch and a truck drove up to Boudreaux's house and a man stepped out. The man introduced himself to Boudreaux, told Boudreaux that he was from Texas, and that he was getting some information about land in the area.

The Texan said, "Mr. Boudreaux, how much land do you have here where you live?"

Boudreaux said, "Mais, I have about two acres."

The Texan said, "That's not much land. Back in Texas where I'm from, it takes me just about all day to drive my truck down my driveway to my house."

Boudreaux thinks about what the Texan said for a while and then responds, "Yeah, I used to have a truck like dat."

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#1. To: James Deffenbach, *Humor-Weird News* (#0)

ALL HE WANTED WAS A TRUCK

A couple had been debating buying a vehicle for weeks. He wanted a truck.

She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town.

He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.

"Look!" she said. "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in just a few seconds. Nothing else will do. My birthday is coming up so surprise me!"

He did just that.

For her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.

Sometimes,no matter how hard you try,there just ain't no pleasing them!

"The only thing better than a Federal Reserve audit would be a Federal Reserve autopsy." ~ unknown

farmfriend  posted on  2009-12-13   20:39:51 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

I bet he was sorry about that choice for a gift when he woke up in the hospital after having that shoe removed from his butt. ahaha.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

James Deffenbach  posted on  2009-12-13   21:08:01 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

MEN NEVER LISTEN

In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied.

A nurse noticed his predicament.

Sir, she said " You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."

He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.

Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR.

Who would know if he touched them?

He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.

What a nice felling, he thought. Men restrooms don't have nice things like this.

Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.

When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.

When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.

Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.

"What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.

"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow."

MEN NEVER LISTEN

"The only thing better than a Federal Reserve audit would be a Federal Reserve autopsy." ~ unknown

farmfriend  posted on  2009-12-13   21:27:21 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

hahahahahaha. that's funny.

christine  posted on  2009-12-13   21:31:10 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Yeah, it is better not to push that ATR button.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

James Deffenbach  posted on  2009-12-14   10:41:42 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.

Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should've known…... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!

"The only thing better than a Federal Reserve audit would be a Federal Reserve autopsy." ~ unknown

farmfriend  posted on  2009-12-17   0:32:44 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Something sounds kinda fishy about that story. Who ever heard of a girl named Rudolph? LOL!

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

James Deffenbach  posted on  2009-12-17   6:14:26 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Hey people name their kids weird.

"The only thing better than a Federal Reserve audit would be a Federal Reserve autopsy." ~ unknown

farmfriend  posted on  2009-12-17   9:48:16 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

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