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Title: Holiday Humor Thread
Source: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
URL Source: http://*&^%$#…¬ˆ¨¥†®´h1;Å ... šÂ¬â€¦Ã¦p0;–ºª•¶§§i4;
Published: Dec 23, 2009
Author: Somebody
Post Date: 2009-12-23 15:19:40 by Original_Intent
Keywords: humor, joke, funny, enjoy
Views: 4719
Comments: 89

Things have been so serious as of late I think some fun is in order. Post your favorite jokes here.*

*Cleanliness is NOT a requirement, funny is.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an Accounting degree Asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread  

Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 1.

#1. To: All (#0)

A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."

Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. "Religion?" "Baptist." "Go to room 18, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."

A third man arrives at the gates. "Religion?" "Jewish." "Go to room 11, but be very quiet as you pass room 8." The man says, "I can understand there being different rooms for different religions, but why must I be quiet when I pass room 8?" St. Peter tells him, "Well, the Catholics are in room 8, and they think they're the only ones here."

Original_Intent  posted on  2009-12-23   15:21:37 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  

#2. To: All (#1)

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."

Original_Intent  posted on  2009-12-23 15:23:09 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  

Kelly and O'Reilly, long-time buddies, were strolling down the street when suddenly Kelly turned and started up the parish church steps.

O'Reily: Where you dashin' off to?
Kelly: I'm goin' to confession.
O'Reilly: Well, knowin' you as I do, good luck on the penance.

Soon Kelly was seated in the confessional.

Kelly: Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
Father: How long since your last confession?
Kelly: Uh, it's been quite a while Father.
Father: Wellll OK, proceed my son.
Kelly: It's pretty bad Father. For several months I've been committing the sin of fornication and, worst of all, with one of the lasses of our own parish.
Father: Oh my, that makes it doublely scandalous. And, just who would this lass be?
Kelly: Oh Father, I could never reveal that!
Father: Hm, was it Mary Monaghan?
Kelly: No, Father.
Father: Kathleen Regan?
Kelly: Oh no Father.
Father: Well now, how about Megan McMahon?
Kelly: Father, please. I could just never reveal the poor girl's name. That would be for her to do.

The sacrament continued for just a wee bit longer and Kelly fled back out to his pal's side.

O'Reilly: Well, how'd it go?

.

.

. Kelly: Pretty good actually, I got ten Hail Mary's, a dozen Our Father's and three good leads.

iconoclast  posted on  2009-12-24 10:34:53 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  

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