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Title: Holiday Humor Thread
Source: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
URL Source: http://*&^%$#…¬ˆ¨¥†®´h1;Å ... šÂ¬â€¦Ã¦p0;–ºª•¶§§i4;
Published: Dec 23, 2009
Author: Somebody
Post Date: 2009-12-23 15:19:40 by Original_Intent
Keywords: humor, joke, funny, enjoy
Views: 4850
Comments: 89

Things have been so serious as of late I think some fun is in order. Post your favorite jokes here.*

*Cleanliness is NOT a requirement, funny is.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an Accounting degree Asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 16.

#1. To: All (#0)

A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."

Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. "Religion?" "Baptist." "Go to room 18, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."

A third man arrives at the gates. "Religion?" "Jewish." "Go to room 11, but be very quiet as you pass room 8." The man says, "I can understand there being different rooms for different religions, but why must I be quiet when I pass room 8?" St. Peter tells him, "Well, the Catholics are in room 8, and they think they're the only ones here."

Original_Intent  posted on  2009-12-23   15:21:37 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."

Original_Intent  posted on  2009-12-23   15:23:09 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  

Rum Cake Recipe

Rum Cake Recipe:
1 or 2 quarts rum
1 cup butter
1 teaspoon sugar

2 large eggs
1 cup dried fruit
baking powder
1 teaspoon soda
lemon juice
brown sugar
nuts

Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality. Good, isn't it? Now go ahead.

Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check the rum again. It must be just right. To be sue rum is of the highest quality, pour one level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat.

With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 seaspoon of thugar and beat again. Meanwhile, make sue that the rum is of the finest quality. Try another cup. Open second quart if necessary.

Add 2 arge leggs, 2 cups fried druit and beat till high. If druit gets stuck in beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the rum again, checking for tonscisticity. Next sift 3 cups of pepper or salt (it really doesn't matter.) Sample the rum again.

Sift + pint of lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add 1 babblespoon of brown thugar, or what ever color you can find. Wix mel. Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350 gredees. Now pour the whole mess into the coven and ake. Check the rum again, and bo to ged.

Rotara  posted on  2009-12-23   15:29:24 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  

Check the rum again, and bo to ged.

That bears repeating. LOL!

Original_Intent  posted on  2009-12-23   15:31:53 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  

..ADN HALPIE HOLIGLAZE TWO YA'ALL!

Rotara  posted on  2009-12-23   15:37:23 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  

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