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Title: Holiday Humor Thread
Source: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
URL Source: http://*&^%$#…¬ˆ¨¥†®´h1;Å ... šÂ¬â€¦Ã¦p0;–ºª•¶§§i4;
Published: Dec 23, 2009
Author: Somebody
Post Date: 2009-12-23 15:19:40 by Original_Intent
Keywords: humor, joke, funny, enjoy
Views: 4625
Comments: 89

Things have been so serious as of late I think some fun is in order. Post your favorite jokes here.*

*Cleanliness is NOT a requirement, funny is.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an Accounting degree Asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread  

Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 8.

#4. To: All (#0)

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.

The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated:

"This is where your problem is."

The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded briefly:

One chalk mark: $1.

Knowing where to put it: $49,999.

He was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.

Original_Intent  posted on  2009-12-23   15:27:06 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  

What's the difference between a used tire and 365 used condoms?

One's a Goodyear, the other's a great year.

Original_Intent  posted on  2009-12-23   15:28:15 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  

Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation.

"I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane..."

Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's fucking Goofy!"

Original_Intent  posted on  2009-12-23   15:30:16 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  

#12. To: All (#8)

What a woman says:
"This place is a mess! C'mon,
you and I need to clean up,
your stuff is lying on the floor and
you'll have no clothes to wear
if we don't do laundry right now!"

What a man hears:
"blah, blah, blah, blah, C'mon
blah, blah, blah, blah, you and I
blah, blah, blah, blah, on the floor
blah, blah, blah, blah, no clothes
blah, blah, blah, blah, right now!"

Original_Intent  posted on  2009-12-23 15:34:44 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  

LOL

farmfriend  posted on  2009-12-23 18:12:05 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  

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