See other Miscellaneous Articles
Title: KY Lubricant Wreaks Havoc At Denver Walgreen’s Store After Senate Passes Healthcare Bill
Source:
[None]
URL Source: http://electivedecisions.wordpress. ... senate-passes-healthcare-bill/
Published: Dec 27, 2009
Author: staff
Post Date: 2009-12-27 01:16:57 by mirage
Keywords: satire, its, a, joke
Views: 141
Comments: 5
Denver, CO—In what should have been a normal day after Christmas shopping event, turned into a brawl at a local Denver, Colorado, Walgreen’s store, leaving one store clerk trampled and many injured in a run on KY personal lubricant. The store clerk, 42-year old Chris Davis, was opening the doors of the store when the mad dash of Denver residents trampled him on their way to grab personal lubricant. Davis suffered a broken rib, and lost two teeth in the run on personal lubricant. It appears that the store had placed an advertisement for KY Natural Feeling Liquid Personal Lubricant on sale for $9.99 in the Christmas edition of the Denver Post’s paper. The manager of the store, 62-year old John Bohica, was forced to call police as the bickering turned into an outright brawl. “It was horrible,” claimed Bohica. “A lot of the store’s merchandise was damaged from two men rolling around and scuffling on the floor for the last bottle of the lubricant. Women were beating each other with their purses. It was ugly!” Several women lost hair, and many of the men had black eyes and fat lips as the police hauled them off. As the investigation ensued, police determined that citizens made the rush on the personal lubricant because of the U.S. Senate’s current vote on healthcare. Many claimed that “they were not going to get caught off guard with their pants down.” Before the ambulance carted Chris off, he said, “I had no idea that many people were paying attention. Can’t we all just get along? Is Congress ever going to stop screwing the American people?” “I would suggest the members of Congress visit Walmat,” added Bohica. “They have a splendid array of personal lubricants at great prices. Come November of 2010, they’re going to get the reaming of their lifetime.”
Post Comment Private Reply Ignore Thread
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
#1. To: mirage (#0)
LOL
"The only thing better than a Federal Reserve audit would be a Federal Reserve autopsy." ~ unknown
All future legislation will automatically include a 'reach-around' in an effort to make it all feel better while they do it to us. Ooooooh, better put some ice on that lip. - wjc
Ain't government great?
"The only thing better than a Federal Reserve audit would be a Federal Reserve autopsy." ~ unknown
I'd like to experience the "Of the, By the, For the..." as opposed to the "Up the, In the, Screw the..." shit our GREATEST GENERATION gave us...
agreed
"The only thing better than a Federal Reserve audit would be a Federal Reserve autopsy." ~ unknown
#2. To: farmfriend (#1)
In other news...
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams 
#3. To: Rotara (#2)
#4. To: farmfriend (#3)
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams
#5. To: Rotara (#4)
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest