See other 4play Articles
Title: Do You Own a Demon-Possessed Ford?
Source:
Ford Public Relations
URL Source: http://www.ford.com
Published: Feb 3, 2010
Author: Rabbi Essostein
Post Date: 2010-02-03 14:19:50 by Esso
Keywords: None
Views: 590
Comments: 22
Do You Own a Demon-Possessed Ford Vehicle? At Ford Motor Company we are determined not to make the same mistakes that the PR department at Toyota made by admitting to possible defects in our products where none exist. Acting-President Rahm "Never let a crisis go to waste" Emmanuel has seized on the media-generated hysteria over "Demon-Possessed Toyotas" to put Government Motor's (GM) leading competetor, out of business. Ford is the #2 threat to a Federal Government Motor Monopoly, and we're scared. So, at Ford, we're going to make it easy on you retards who are too stupid to chew gum and walk at the same time that have gotten caught up in the demon-possessed automobile hysteria. All you have to do is take your "demon-possessed" Ford, Lincoln or Mercury car and paperwork into any Ford dealer, walk into the showroom, and yell, "I'M A MORON AND I WANT MY MONEY BACK!" We will immediately issue you a check for the full value of your vehicle, no questions asked, and sell it to someone who is not a moron that is too stupid to drive. At Ford, we pride ourselves on our quality engineering & construction, and quite frankly, we don't want 'tards in our products. At Ford, getting idiots out of our cars is now Job #1. We don't want to give the government any reason to put us out of business because you're stupid. Rememember: "I'M A MORON AND I WANT MY MONEY BACK!" Now, go wipe the drool off your chin.
Post Comment Private Reply Ignore Thread
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 15.
#11. To: Esso (#0)
I have a Ford Windstar a friend returning to Egypt sold to me for a dollar to avoid the gift tax. I took it as it's forth gear was not working and it is a useful vehicle when I am vending at Saturday Market. The overdrive healed itself however, and I've been using it to go to Portland, Florence, Medford, and other places I had been taking a bicycle of the train to get to. So, it is arguably a demon, or a saint. Depends on your perspective I guess.
Wave a smoking branch of sage underneath it, pour a quart of Motorcraft tranny fluid around the van in a perfect circle, and chant a few paragraphs from Henry Fords The International Jew from the drivers' seat , that oughta fix it for good ;-)
#17. To: X-15, Mikey the Weasel (#15)
Naw, the best way to fix it is Vietnamese style Weasel, pour 5 gallons of gas over your head, start chanting to your wicca goddess giai and light up :) It'll fix anything
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
#15. To: Ferret Mike, Lod, Flintlock (#11)
The overdrive healed itself however, and I've been using it to go to Portland, Florence, Medford, and other places I had been taking a bicycle of the train to get to.
Replies to Comment # 15. Wave a smoking branch of sage underneath it, pour a quart of Motorcraft tranny fluid around the van in a perfect circle,
End Trace Mode for Comment # 15.