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Title: Women As Explained By Engineers
Source:
Beyond The Invisible
URL Source: http://bethei.blogspot.com/2008/02/ ... as-explained-by-engineers.html
Published: Feb 6, 2008
Author: rnold
Post Date: 2010-02-20 20:49:13 by Itistoolate
Keywords: None
Views: 354
Comments: 23
How will it look like if engineers explain women? This is not just funny! 
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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 18.
#3. To: Itistoolate (#0)
Surface appears "fine", but is in fact angry underneath.
one good point: there are no women SWAT teams
Yes.. when someone refuses to come out with their hands up... the female SWAT say "fine" and turn their backs... lol
Keywords and their meanings: "Fine": This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments. "Five minutes": This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade. "Nothing": This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine". "Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine". "Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows): This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a raised eyebrow "Go ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off. "Loud Sigh": This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing". "Soft Sighs": Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content. "Oh": This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, RUN, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. "Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that we can't bring ourselves to write about them. "That's Okay": This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go ahead". At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble. "Please Do": This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay". "Thanks": A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; just say you're welcome. "Thanks a lot": This is much different from "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks a lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing". I hope this clears up any misunderstandings...
Five minutes is a half an hour for MEN in Ireland. lol So, for Irish women, that needs to be multiplied even further: 30/5 =6 5*6*6 = 3 hours is an Irishwoman's five minutes.... lol
LOL I'll remember that.
One thing that has always bothered me as a man who definitely is a feminist is that whatever women usually do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily though, this is not difficult. There are lots of incompetent and lazy men in positions they only get because of their gender and social pecking order.
I'd appreciate pinging when bringing me up Ferret.
Heh, Okie Dokie. ;-) Of course if I pinged all here this applied to, that might be a heck of a long one. Which is why such ignorance is indeed bliss. One thing I always remember about our species is that women are the only oppressed group in our society that lives in intimate association with their oppressors. I remember one friend who was speaking about women with and he interrupted me impatiently with, "Hey, I have no problems with treating the weaker sex as equals..." I tuned him out at that point. The beers he had drunk didn't help, just to be fair to him. As when he is sober, though he still thinks that way, but he is smart enough to keep his big yap shut. ;-D
#19. To: Ferret Mike (#18)
It's hard to digest the reality on the street that men have institutionally enslaved women. I have a hard time getting my head around it, but from the objective perspective, there is not too much other conclusion to be had. The answer to the question appears to me to be the violence that our stronger tribes seem disposed to commit to the weaker ones. And the male female analogy follows from that. So the less violence prone and capable women must seek protection with the asshat males. As an aside - I always remember Will Shriher's(sp) Rise and fall of the third reich) where he recalls seeing the women of Berlin, dressed in their finest Sable and Mink coats, in 1944, digging through the ruins of Berlin, passing bricks to one another to clear the streets. The cardinal crime is for one person, family, society, community or nation to thrive off the labor of an oppressed class. We have five thousand years of history to prove this. But for a short time..... its good to be the King and his family. Sometimes I am not so proud to be a member of the Human race.
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#4. To: irishthatcherite (#3)
#5. To: Itistoolate (#4)
one good point: there are no women SWAT teams
#12. To: irishthatcherite, Itistoolate (#5)
The Secrets of Women's Language - A must-read for any man
#13. To: farmfriend (#12)
"Five minutes": This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.
#14. To: irishthatcherite (#13)
#15. To: farmfriend (#14)
(Edited)
#17. To: Ferret Mike (#15)
There are lots of incompetent and lazy men in positions they only get because of their gender and social pecking order.
#18. To: tom007 (#17)
Replies to Comment # 18. One thing I always remember about our species is that women are the only oppressed group in our society that lives in intimate association with their oppressors.
End Trace Mode for Comment # 18.