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Miscellaneous See other Miscellaneous Articles Title: Invitation to the 3rd Nigerian 419 e-mail seminar Invitation to the 3rd Nigerian 419 e-mail seminar (Sponsored by Western Union) To be held at The Sheraton, Lagos with teleconferencing through to The Sheraton, Amsterdam November 29 – November 30, 2004 GREETINGS !! I COME TO YOU WITH A SINCERE HEART BELIEVING IN ALMIGHTY GOD THAT YOU WILL CONSIDER MY INVITATION AND COME TO HELP AND ALSO BENEFIT FROM ME. This letter might surprise you because we have not met neither in person nor by correspondence. But I believe it is one day that you get to know somebody either in physical or through correspondence. I got your contact through some discreet inquiry from the chamber of commerce and industry, you and your organization were revealed as being quite astute in private entrepreneurship, one has no doubt in your ability to handle a financial business transaction. All delegates are reminded that they should keep this matter highly reticent pending the actualization of the seminar. I would want you to contact me immediately so that we can proceed with the booking. You should please on reply enclose your private telephone, fax number so that we can have more confidential correspondence. Subjects to be covered during the seminar:- 1 - THE CASE FOR ALL CAPS This highly controversial subject has divided opinion amongst our delegates in previous years. Some, such as Basher Mobutu Sese-Seko, are firmly of the belief that using ALL UPPERCASE CHARACTERS lends a certain style to their message, whilst some of the more progressive delegates believe that this is a style that has now passed its sell-by date. There will be a 2 hour debate on the subject with delegates voting on the question after the discussion. 2 - The effectiveness of Religious phrases A recent survey has shown that 89% of previous delegates continue to scatter religious phrases and references to God throughout their correspondence. There will be an open-forum discussion on the subject led by “Deacon” John Osa of Dove Ministry Inc. All delegates will receive a 14 page booklet containing the most frequently used psalms. 3 - “Modalities” – Is it time to stop using this phrase? If previous seminars are anything to go on this will be one of the most hotly debated topics. Champions of the phrase continue to argue that it is part of our scamming heritage whilst some of our younger delegates reason that, outside of our own circle, it is a totally unknown term. 4 - How to make those grammatical errors REALLY WORK for you An in-depth workshop session led by a number of our leading barristers. On completion of the session delegates will be able to master the most excruciating grammatical savaging of the English language. This haves been won of the most poppular seshons in preevyas seminarse –arryve urly two a voyde dis appoyntmeant. 5 - Try to be creative with your story One of Nigeria’s leading psychologists explores and analyses the success rate of various sales pitches including:- The expatriate dying in a tragic air-crash, leaving no known relatives, the Ministry of Petroleum official who has a fund of millions of dollars through deliberate over-invoicing of a project, the Zimbabwean / Sierra Leone orphans who tragically lost their highly popular father through gang murder. Following the psychologist’s analysis one of Nigeria’s most creative authors will explore new scenarios that will have the Westerners begging to send us more money. Delegates will be given invaluable advice on how to buy lists of intended victims at the lowest cost, use them and sell them on at a profit. A hands-on 2 hour tutorial covering the basics in Adobe Photoshop. At the end of the session delegates will have learned how to produce professional-quality forgeries of wills, Central Bank documentation and the all-important list of handling and demurrage charges from various security companies. Specialist techniques covered will include Government official stamps and fake passports. An explanation of the benefits of using today’s technology to convince your victims that the bank really exists and to use this technology to withdraw money from their accounts in the shortest possible time. All delegates will be entitled to a 10% discount when using the course-approved webmasters. Exploring the advantages of rapidly setting up multiple e-mail accounts with:- Hotmail, Yahoo, Netscape, EC Plaza, Rediffmail, Indiatimes, Phantomemail, Zwallet and many others. (Also includes how to avoid common mistakes such as using one name at the start of the e-mail message and signing off with another name.) Book today to avoid disappointment. Delegate numbers will be strictly limited to the first 15,000 applicants. Send your Western Union payment of $750 to Scam-Masters Inc, 14 Ikoge Lane, Apapa, Lagos Test Question:-Why, Test Answer:-Why Not No bookings will be confirmed until a scanned copy of the Western Union receipt and Control Number has been received and verified. (No forged receipts please) Yours in God’s Vineyard Barrister Wotta Ripoff (President, Scam-Masters Inc) Alternative Reply No. 1 Read this out loud and repeat it until it becomes fixed in your tiny brain. (I've even put it in CAPITALS so you can understand it) I AM A NO GOOD 419 SCAMMER. I AM A LIAR, A CHEAT AND A THIEF. IF I WERE A REAL MAN I'D HAVE A REAL JOB. I AM A NO GOOD 419 SCAMMER. Alternative Reply No. 2 TO: benwilliam2000@netscape.net FROM: JOHN JACOB JINGLEHEIMER SCHMIDT SUBJECT: YOUR LETTER SIR, MR. HONORABLE BENJAMIN WILLIAMS IT IS WITH GREAT URGENT AND CONFIDENTIAL REPLYING THAT I UNDERTAKE TO BEGIN THE OPENING OF A BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN US ON THE SUBJECT OF THE SOLICITATION OF ASSISTANCE WITH THE MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL TRANSACTION TO WHICH YOU REFER IN THE COMMUNICATION I HAVE RECENTLY RECEIVED FROM YOURSELF, Q.V. CC ET SEQ. THE FUND YOU SPEAK OF, IN THE DIPLOMATIC SECURITY COMPANY VAULT, IS OF GREAT INTEREST TO ME SINCE MY RECENTLY DEPOSED BROTHER-IN-LAW, ERSTWHILE SHOESHINE BOY TO THE ONE-TIME INTERNATIONAL PIE-EATING CHAMPION'S THIRD COUSIN TWICE REMOVED BY MARRIAGE, SANNI "ANDCHER" ABACHA, WHO IN RECENT COMMUNICATION THROUGH HIS ESTRANGED YET ENVIABLY AND ASTONISHINGLY LIMBER EX-MISTRESS AND JAI-ALAI COACH, MS. MARY CATHERINE GALLAGHER, REPORTEDLY REVEALED THE EXISTENCE OF AN EVEN MORE SECRET CONTRACT FOR DELIVERY OF SHAREHOLDER VALUE ON THE REVERSE-SPLIT OTCBB FUTURES CONTRACT FOR SEGWAY HUMAN TRANSPORTERS, THEMSELVES OF COURSE THE PRODUCT OF A PREVIOUS GOVERNMENT CONTRACT CUNNINGLY PADDED BY HIS MINIONS, IS NOW DEAD AS YOU KNOW. I AM PREPARED TO UNDERTAKE THIS TRANSACTION IMMEDIATELY AT SUCH TIME AS YOU AND YOUR ASSOCIATES HAVE PREPARED THE NECESSARY DOCUMENTATION AND MODALITIES TO SUFFICIENTLY INDUCE, COMPEL, AND INCENT THE INVOLVED PARTIES, HEREAFTER REFERRED TO AS "THEM," TO FORTHWITH AND HERETOFORE ABDICATE ANY AND ALL CLAIM TO SAID FUNDS SUCH AS THEM MAY HAVE PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT THEM-SELVES ENTITLED BY DINT OF EXTREME CORRUPTION, FAMILIAL RELATIONS, OR SIMPLY HAVING TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS. AS I AM SURE THIS PRESENTS NO PROBLEM, I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR PROMPT RESPONSE. SINCERELY, JOHN JACOB JUNGLEHEIMER SCHMIDT III, PHD, ESQ. Alternative Reply No. 3 DEAR SIR/DIRECTOR/CEO: DEAREST IN GOD'S VINEYARD MY NAME IS SPOOF PISSTAKER. IN 1991 MY COUNTRY WAS INVADED, MY CAR WAS REPOSSESSED, AND MY WIFE WAS WIDOWED IN OUR ANNUAL CIVIL WAR. THIS YEAR I AM TAKING OUT A NINE MILLION DOLLAR (U.S. $9,000,000) FREE DISCOUNT MORTGAGE FINANCED ON MY EMPIRE OF HERBAL VIAGRA AND LESBIAN TEEN PORN BUSINESSES. THIS MESSAGE MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO YOU; I GOT YOUR ADDRESS FROM A LIST OF REPUTABLE BUSINESSES AND ELIGIBLE SPEED SEDUCTION BACHELORS IN NIGERIA. WE WANT A RELIABLE PERSON TO TRANSFER MY FAMILY'S $9,000,000 (NINE MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS) IN BREAST AND PENIS ENHANCEMENTS TO THE SANCTITY OF A THIRD WORLD BANK ACCOUNT. MY WEALTH RESULTED FROM AN AMAZING MULTI LEVEL MARKETING SCAM IN WHICH I OFFER THAT YOU MAY PARTICIPATE. BY ASSISTING MY HUMBLE FARMING AND GOVERNMENT CORRUPTION FAMILY IN TRANSFERING OUR BREAST AND PENIS DEVICES YOU BECOME ELIGIBLE FOR THE NIGERIAN OVERSEAS LOTTERY, WITH A TOP PRIZE OF FIFTY MILLION LASER PRINTER TONER CARTRIDGES OF YOUR CHOICE. YOU TOO CAN BECOME AN INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING AND BRIBERY MAGNATE !!! *** Real Celebrities! Real Neuticles! See Yourself as Naked as Them! ***http://spam-lick-lollipop.com/privacy-thief.php?your@address.here IF WE REACH AN AGREEMENT WITH NO DISAPPOINT ON YOUR PART, YOU WILL PROVIDE UNTO US YOUR BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER, SOCIAL SECURITY / IDENTITY NUMBER, AND FIRST BORN BABY KITTEN. I WILL REQUIRE AN ADVANCE FEE OF FIFTY INFLATABLE LOVE SHEEP AND FORTY POUNDS OF HUMAN GROWTH HORMONE TO COVER THE BRIBERY OF OUR MINISTRY OF DISCOUNT PILLS. I WILL THEN EFT TRANSFER NINE MILLION DOLLARS IN BREAST IMPLANTS AND HOMOSEXUAL WOMEN TO YOUR ACCOUNT. CHALLENGE YOURSELF TO THE INTERNATIONAL AFRICAN TRADERS' GUILD ONLINE CASINO! HTTP://WWW.SCAM-ME-HARDER.COM/TRACKING.PHP?FRAUDSTER-O-RAMA&11A3 THESE ARE REAL FARM GIRLS GETTING DIRTY WITH AFRICAN OIL BUREAUCRATS !!! YOU WILL FORWARD 50% PERCENT OF THE TRANSFERED IMPLANTS TO MY COUSIN, IVA TWAT IN PENSACOLA FLORIDA. 10% PERCENT WILL BE USED TO PAY THE PIPER. YOU WILL KEEP THE OTHER 40% PERCENT AS YOUR TRANSFER FEE AND REWARD FOR CLICKING THE MONKEY. THIS MESSAGE IS NOT `` SPAM ''. IT IS DELIVERED IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE GALACTIC SENATE BILL 1618 REGULATING THE FREE TRADE IN ELECTRONIC PENIS AND FREE VACATION BONUS. YOU OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE " OPTED IN " TO THESE SPECIAL OFFERS. YOU TOO CAN SEDUCE HUNDREDS OF WILLING TEENAGE LESBIANS AT HOME !!! IN YOUR SPARE TIME !!! *** Earn FREE AIRLINE MILES by STUFFING ENVELOPES !!! Or NAKED WIVES !!! FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO FIVE OF YOUR BEST AND MOST TRUSTED BUSINESS ASSOCIATES -- DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN -- AND YOU WILL RECEIVE PERFECT LUCK AND PERFECT SEX !!! JOHN WHORFIN OF GROVERS MILL NEW JERSEY BROKE THE CHAIN, AND HE DIED THE NEXT DAY OF ACUTE PENIS REMOVAL !!! CHAINSAW *** THIS IS NOT A JOKE *** THIS IS NOT A HOAX *** DELETING THIS EMAIL *** WITHOUT CLICKING THROUGH TO THREE ADVERTISING LINKS CONSTITUTES A *** VIOLATION OF THE FIRST AMENDMENT *** AND FRAUD *** EAT YOUR SPAM OR *** WE WILL LAWSUITE YOU *** HARD *** HARDER *** OH YES YES *** BOY *** TO UNSUBSCRIME FROM THIS FABULOUS AND MIND BLOWING SEX OFFER, PLEASE CLICK ONCE (DO NOT DOUBLE CLICK) ON THE LINK BELOW. PLEASE ADVISE THAT THESE SPECIAL OFFERS ARE ONE TIME OFFERS AND WILL NOT DISCONTINUE. THIS TRANSACTION IS 189% RISK FREE AND ALL MODALITIES ARE IN PLACE Unsubscrime YOURS SINCERELY MR SPOOF PISSTAKER DISCOUNT PETROLEUM AND PENIS OF NIGERIA, INC. LAGOS, NIGERIA 419 Alternative Reply No. 4 Dear [name of recipient - usually a nice Nigerian person] I send salutations from my country, the sovereign nation of [choose from -(a) Tootooland, (b) Antarctica, (c) Gondwanaland, (d) Atlantis]. Now that I have carefully read your email, I cannot express to you the sheer scale of my [... -(a) incredulity, (b) incredulation, (c) incredibleness, (d) surprise]. I instantly considered your intentions to be [...-(a) very 'truthful', (b) very 'valid', (c) very 'totally believable', (d) very 'transparent']. This is indeed a miracle. You actually chose little old me out of all the hundreds of millions of the world's other [...-(a) dummies (b) know-nothings, (c) suckers, (d) people]. However, I must respectfully decline your very kind offer, as I am already deliriously rich, due to my being [...-(a) an Iraqi oil magnate, (b) a former Enron chief executive, (c) an internet tycoon, (d) a school teacher]. I visited your beautiful country recently. I'm probably mistaken, but I am sure I saw your name on [...-(a) an honours list, (b) a rich list, (c) a shopping list, (d) a death list]. Anyway, I was so excited, I went out and purchased [...-(a) your national airline, (b) a mountain range, (c) four oil refineries, (d) a glass of milk]. So you see, kind [Sir/Madam], I have very little use for the US$[amount stated in email] that you are asking me to look after. There is simply no more room left in my already overstuffed Swiss bank accounts. Now, I have just had a wonderful thought. Perhaps I could be of more assistance to YOUR fellow [...-(a) accountants, (b) country-folk, (c) freedom fighters, (d) inmates]. Listen: why not simply provide me with all YOUR details (including bank account numbers, PIN numbers etc) and I will deposit heaps of lovely money into your account? There is no need for references as I trust you implicitly: after-all, you obviously have faith and trust in me. Yours ever sincerely,[...-(a) Dr B. S. Hit, (b) Mrs I. B. Rong, (c) Mr U. R. Suktin, (d) Professor Icon Yewz] Alternative Reply No. 5 DEAR SIR/MADAM GREETINGS TO YOU FROM THIS SIDE OF THE ATLANTIC. I KNOW THIS LETTER WILL COME AS A SHOCK TO YOU AS WE HAVE NOT MET EACH OTHER BEFORE OR INDEED HAD ANY CORRESPONDENCE BUT I FELT GUIDED BY THE HAND OF GOD TO SEND YOU THIS MESSAGE. (HE MOVES IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS HIS WONDERS TO PERFORM) MY NAME IS FANNY TOSSPOT THE ONLY DAUGHTER OF TOTAL TOSSPOT THE MOST POPULAR JELLY AND CUSTARD WRESTLER IN ENGLAND. MY FATHER WAS MYSTERIOUSLY POISONED BY SOME OF HIS ENEMIES IN THE JELLY AND CUSTARD WRESTLING WORLD AND SPENT DAYS IN AGONY AT THE LOCAL HOSPITAL BEFORE HE PASSED WIND (AND AWAY). MAY HIS GENTLE SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE MY FATHER HOLD ME SO DEAR THAT ON HIS DEATHBED HE CONFIDED IN ME THAT HE HAD A GREAT FORTUNE (TOTALLING £43.90) WHICH HE HAD TAKEN FROM HIS ARCH RIVAL AND JELLY AND CUSTARD WRESTLING WORLD CHAMPION WILLY WANKER. IN ORDER TO SAFEGUARD THIS TREASURE FROM HIS ENEMIES MY DEAR FATHER ARRANGED FOR IT TO BE SENT BY DIPLOMATIC COURIER OUT OF ENGLAND TO A SAFE PLACE IN NIGERIA. FOLLOWING MY FATHER’S UNTIMELY DEMISE MY MOTHER STARTED DRINKING IN A BIG WAY AND TAKING UP WITH MUCKY MEN WITH A PENCHANT FOR FERRET RACING. SHE WAS LAST SEEN SEARCHING WITH HER TONGUE FOR A LOST FERRET DOWN ONE OF HER MENFRIEND’S INCREDIBLY TIGHT TROUSERS. UNFORTUNATELY THE FERRET MISTOOK HER TONGUE FOR A FEMALE FERRET AND PROCEEDED TO GIVE IT A GOOD SHAGGING. THAT FERRET MY FRIEND WAS INFECTED WITH GONORRHOEA, SYPHILIS, HALITOSIS, BUNIONS AND HAEMORRHOIDS AND CONSEQUENTLY MY DEAR MOTHER WAS TAKEN BY THE GOOD LORD TO JOIN MY FATHER. I AM ALL ALONE NOW APART FROM MY 14 YEAR OLD BROTHER DICK TOSSPOT WHO HAS INHERITED MY FATHER’S GENITAL WARTS BUT NOT UNFORTUNATELY HIS JELLY AND CUSTARD WRESTLING SKILLS. AS I AM ONLY 17 AND TECHNICALLY STILL A VIRGIN I CANNOT OPEN A BANK ACCOUNT IN NIGERIA WITHOUT PROVIDING PROOF OF MY FATHER’S DEATH AND HIS DEATH CERTIFICATE WAS CHEWED UP, SWALLOWED AND REGURGITATED BY OUR PET DUCK-BILLED PLATYPUS. THIS IS WHY I IMPLORE YOU TO ASSIST ME IN TRANSFERRING THE MONEY TO A SAFE BANK ACCOUNT IN NIGERIA. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS OPEN A BANK ACCOUNT IN YOUR NAME AND I WILL ARRANGE WITH MY LAWYER, MR P.D O’FILE, TO MAKE ALL NECESSARY TRANSACTIONS WITH THE SECURITY COMPANY SO THAT MY FATHER’S FORTUNE CAN BE TRANSFERRED TO THAT ACCOUNT. PLEASE BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY THAT THIS IS A TOTALLY 100% RISK-FREE, LEGAL TRANSACTION AND THAT ALL MODALITIES ARE IN PLACE. ALL THAT IS REQUIRED FROM YOU IS TOTAL SECRECY, YOUR BANK SORT CODE AND ACCOUNT NUMBER, A COPY OF THE FIRST 23 PAGES OF YOUR PASSPORT, AN INDICATION OF YOUR MARITAL STATUS, THE SIZE OF YOUR TODGER AND YOUR INSIDE LEG MEASUREMENT PLUS OF COURSE YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBERS (LAND LINE AND MOBILE) TOGETHER WITH YOUR FAX NUMBER AS MY LAWYER WILL NEED TO SEND YOU A LOT OF COLOURFUL AND CONVINCING DOCUMENTATION. WITH THESE DETAILS WE WILL BE ABLE TO CONCLUDE THE TRANSACTION WITHIN 10 DAYS AND WE WILL BOTH BE RICH BEYOND OUR WILDEST DREAMS. I HAVE DISCUSSED THIS MATTER WITH MY BROTHER AND WE HAVE AGREED TO GIVE YOU 22.391% OF THE TOTAL FORTUNE FOR ASSISTING US. (THAT’S £9.83 IN ENGLISH MONEY BUT PROBABLY A LOT MORE IN NAIRA). 5% WILL BE SET ASIDE FOR ANY EXPENSES AND THE REMAINDER WILL FUND MY BROTHER’S EDUCATION. PLEASE DO NOT ABANDON MY BROTHER AND ME IN OUR HOUR OF NEED BUT REPLY TO ME URGENTLY SO THAT WE CAN START THE MOVEMENT OF THESE FUNDS. YOURS IN THE HOPE OF EVERLASTING PLATITUDES. REMAIN BLESSED FANNY TOSSPOT (FOR THE FAMILY) PS AS SECURITY IS NECESSARY YOU MAY FIND THAT I HAVE TO KEEP ON CHANGING MY EMAIL ADDRESS BUT DO NOT CONCERN YOURSELF ON THIS MATTER AS I AM NOW USED TO IT. Alternative Reply No. 6 Just send him here:- http://www.personaldetails.freeserve.co.uk (with thanks to Shiver Metimbers) Alternative Reply No. 7 Or send him here:- http://www.personaldetails.freeserve.co.uk/404.htm (with thanks to Jungle Jim) Alternative Reply No. 8 (with thanks to Paul) Dear sir, Thank you very much for writing to me. I am Conchita and I am so poor that I have no last name as my father could not afford one for me. We live on a small island in the South Pacific and are the only family that has lived here for the past one hundred years. Unfortunately, we have eaten almost everything on the island except for the dirt and two skinny dogs that are too old to scratch fleas. Fortunately, we ate all the fleas so there are none left for the dogs to worry about. I am so pleased that you have offered to send us your twenty-five million US dollars. We have not seen money for the last three generations as we have no place to spend it and no means of getting to a place where we could spend it if we wanted to. I can assure you that we will take excellent care of your funds and invest them wisely. Our plan for the money is as follows: 1. We want to build a deep water port in Williwilli, our little lagoon here on the island. 2. We then want to bring in a barge with an electrical generator so that we can have electricity on the island once again. We haven't had electricity in over two hundred years because the last generator broke down and we have no parts to repair it. 3. We want to build a school here so the children can learn to read and write. It is really hard to create email messages with no electricity and no knowledge of reading or writing skills. 4. We then want to install a phone company so we can communicate with the outside world and meet more wonderful people like you and your blessed family. 5. We then want to build a satellite cable system so we can watch television and see all the latest fights in the world. We don't have those here and miss them very much. We think that we could probably hook up a computer to the cable or telephone lines so we could send email messages to our new found friends when we get them. 6. We want to build a grocery store so we have a place to buy things like bubble gum and candy, something we have never had here. 7. We will then need to build a road from our cave to the grocery store so we can get there. Of course, we will need a car to drive on the road or there will be no point in having a road, will there? 8. If we get a car we will need gas and oil but maybe we could just take some from the electrical generator and save that money for a beauty salon, something we really need here. Have you seen the women around here? They are just awful looking. 9. Of course, we will have to build a church so we have a place to go and be thankful for the gifts you have offered us. Once all these things have been completed, if there is any money left we would like to use it to build a house to live in. The hole we use for an outhouse is rapidly filling up since we began receiving your letters of appeal and we will need to move soon as the cave will be unbearable to live in during hot weather. Air conditioning in our new house would be nice too. It is too bad that I am only eight years old. If I were older I could come and visit you if you sent me an airplane ticket and an airplane with pontoons on it so it could land in the lagoon. One of my grandchildren would like to come and visit you also, if you don't mind. I shall patiently await the arrival of the next bottle with your message telling us when the money will be here. Thank you again, for your kind generosity; it is sincerely appreciated. Conchita Alternative Reply No. 9 Dear Do not be surprised or alarmed at this method of communication – I found your name through my database of idiots taxpayers. My name is Gordon Brown and I am the Chancellor of the Exchequer in the UK. During the last few years my colleagues and I have stolen Billions of pounds from the British public and we are now looking for a trustworthy partner to assist us in transferring this money to a safe haven before the Conservative Party regains power at the next election. We carried out this practice mainly under the guise of so called “Stealth Taxes” so that the British taxpayer couldn’t turn around and accuse us of raising the income tax rate. But as an astute businessman yourself you will realise that there are more ways of killing a cat than just kicking it in the crotch. We have systematically raised taxes and duties on petrol, alcohol, cigarettes, pension funds, council taxes and a myriad of other items that the average British citizen is too dumb to recognise. A large part of the money raised was, of course, wasted in trying to live up to our election manifesto promises. As Tony said “education, education, education” What he meant was those of us who can afford it will always prefer to send our sons and daughters to some smart fee-paying school rather than the run down alternatives available under the “free” education system. Likewise we always prefer to have private medical treatment rather than rely on the National Health Service (Have you seen how disgusting some of those hospitals are? People can get ill staying in one of those.) Perhaps our biggest coup was in convincing everyone that war with Iraq was necessary for world peace – that alone used up billions of pounds of taxpayer’s money. We need to be sure of your reliability in carrying out this project with us and what we ask is that you maintain complete confidentiality. For this we are prepared to grant you 10% of the transferred fund whilst my partners and I will keep 85%; the remaining 5% will be used to cover all foreseeable expenses such as spin-doctors etc. Please note that this is a 100% risk-free transaction and that all modalities are in place to ensure that the transfer is completed within 7 days. If you feel that you cannot assist us in this project please let me know by return, as we will then ask George Bush if he can help us. Yours in the Tuscany vineyards Gordon Brown
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#1. To: James Deffenbach (#0)
(Edited)
There is nothing better than getting them off script, and sending them off on a safari. I did it once and am trying to do it again. It's not easy. I hardly ever bother reading anything they send until I get them off script. Then the fun starts.
Click for Privacy and Preparedness files Live free or I never have gotten one to go on a safari. If you don't want to spend much time with them about the best way to do it is to tell them that you are already fabulously wealthy and that they should give that opportunity to someone not as fortunate.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. |
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