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Title: Truisms - Yeah, no kiddin...
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Published: Apr 22, 2010
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Post Date: 2010-04-22 14:55:44 by farmfriend
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Views: 279
Comments: 5
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. 10. Bad decisions make good stories. 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to. 14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever. 15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away? 16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of any importance the entire day. What a waste. 17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. 19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. 20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option 21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it. 22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. 23. Even when opportunity knocks, you still have to get up off your seat and open the door. 24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? 26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! 27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. 28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year? 29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far. 30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists. 31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 32. Even under ideal conditions, people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my all that everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
Truisms - Yeah, no kiddin...
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#1. To: farmfriend (#0)
What's the difference between a dog and a fox? A six-pack. Many studies have shown "beer googles" really do exist. The things I could you about them...
“No amount of reason, evidence, logic or rational argument will ever convince the true believer otherwise.”
There's no problem that a large amount of explosive ordnance can't solve. If in doubt, shoot. If still in doubt, shoot again.
_________________________________________________________________________ "The Democratic constituency is just like a herd of cows. All you have to do is lay out enough silage and they come running. That's why I became an operative working with Democrats. With Democrats all you have to do is make a lot of noise, lay out the hay, and be ready to use the ole cattle prod in case a few want to bolt the herd." - James Carville
_________________________________________________________________________ I know the answer to this one. Fold it in half the shortest way and tuck the fitted corners on top into the corners underneath. Fold the sides in and fold it in half two more times. An alternate method is to fold all the corners into one and then go through the rest of the steps above. If there isn't a table handy, fold in half then make two fists and put them into the top and bottom corners at each side where they meet. Swing the corners on one fist over to the other so they are all together and fold the sides in, then fold in half two more times. Voila. Done, zip-zap.
------- "They're on our left, they're on our right, they're in front of us, they're behind us...they can't get away this time." -- Col. Puller, USMC
LOL, Yeah I used to work in the laundry of a convalescent hospital. I have no trouble folding sheets.
"With respect to the words general welfare, I have always regarded them as qualified by the detail of powers connected with them. To take them in a literal and unlimited sense would be a metamorphosis of the Constitution into a character which there is a host of proofs was not contemplated by its creators." I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
#2. To: farmfriend (#0)
Obama is the miscegenated bastard of a white communist whore. True story.
-Schweizerische Schuetzenzeitung (Swiss Shooting Federation) April, 1941
#3. To: farmfriend (#0)
Obama is the miscegenated bastard of a white communist whore. True story.
-Schweizerische Schuetzenzeitung (Swiss Shooting Federation) April, 1941
#4. To: farmfriend (#0)
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
#5. To: GreyLmist (#4)
James Madison, Letter to James Robertson, April 20, 1831
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