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Editorial
See other Editorial Articles

Title: Playboy centerfold expands to 3D
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: May 11, 2010
Author: Chris Matyszczyk
Post Date: 2010-05-11 19:33:24 by tom007
Keywords: None
Views: 287
Comments: 8

Playboy centerfold expands to 3D by Chris Matyszczyk

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Hope doesn't merely float. Hope displays audacity.

So I am able to bring you the daring news that so many of you, staring into screens, screaming for a third dimension, a fourth, or even a fifth, have been waiting for since hair appeared in your armpits. Yes, model Hope Dworaczyk will, in the June issue of Playboy, hitting newsstands Friday, become the first of the magazine many playmates to be featured in three glorious, luscious, enticing, overwhelming dimensions.

You will be able to clutch your Playboy magazine, open it wide, put on your 3D spectacles, and view Hope's 34Cs in 3D. As Playboy founder and anthropologist of the male mind, Hugh Hefner, so deftly told the Associated Press: "What would people most like to see in 3D? Probably a naked lady."

Even the great man's waxwork wants to celebrate. (Credit: CC Cliff 1066/Flickr)

I am told that "a naked lady" narrowly beat out "the new iPhone 4G" in several online polls. And I feel a personal pride and affinity while bathing in the knowledge that the woman who will claim this vast fame is a "Czyk."

We Czyks have fought hard for recognition. We Czyks have resisted the advice of snooty, misguided people to change our last names, to forsake our heritage, to dump our last, zee-adorned syllable. But we Czyks will keep the czyk at the end of our names not merely because czyks just want to have fun. It's because Czyks just want to be real.

As Playboy's editorial director framed it so beautifully to the AP: "People want things that last and have meaning."

Hope has proved that you need very little alteration to your true self in order to reach meaningful, lasting, desirable recognition. And I know that this huge technological development will be one that will reinvigorate paper in its fight against the sheer plastic artificiality of the laptop.

Hefner explained it like this to the AP: "This particular picture is one example of how books and magazines are different (than computer images). You can hold [them] in your hands, save them, and as Dad used to, put them under the mattress."

I would like to point out that my father was an excessively good Catholic but that my older brother was not immune from enjoying a little support beneath his mattress.

While Hefner claimed that he first thought of 3D in the 1950s, when he must have already entered maturity, I believe that Hope Dworaczyk may have described to the AP, and to us all, the true contemporary power of three-dimensional technology: "It's kind of like it says on the rearview mirror. Things may appear larger."

This 3D Playboy centerfold will, indeed, make the world a larger place on Friday. Larger, perhaps, than life itself. Chris Matyszczyk is an award-winning creative director who advises major corporations on content creation and marketing. He brings an irreverent, sarcastic, and sometimes ironic voice to the tech world. He is a member of the CNET Blog Network and is not an employee of CNET.

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#1. To: All (#0)

Let's all just pray that Playgirl keeps out of this scene.

"Satan / Cheney in "08" Just Foreign Policy Iraqi Death Estimator

tom007  posted on  2010-05-11   19:34:18 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: tom007 (#1)

Let's all just pray that Playgirl keeps out of this scene.

would that create issues for you, Tom...ehehe


"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”—Samuel Adams

Rotara  posted on  2010-05-11   19:35:52 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: Rotara (#2)

ehehe

No. But when you have to explain your joke.....

"Satan / Cheney in "08" Just Foreign Policy Iraqi Death Estimator

tom007  posted on  2010-05-11   19:40:15 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: tom007 (#1)

like the pop up books when we were kids lol

'It is better to have less thunder in the mouth and more lightning in the hand.'

- Apache proverb

gengis gandhi  posted on  2010-05-11   20:14:12 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: tom007 (#0)

deleted

The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.

"You've got to put right and wrong above legal and illegal. Because when tyranny becomes law, rebellion becomes duty; and it is not rebellion at all, it is submission to the higher law that our government is in rebellion to. We're not the rebels, they're the rebels."

Eric Stratton  posted on  2010-05-11   20:22:42 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: tom007 (#0)

This guarantees full employment for airbrushers.

I rise in great respect for the courage and high ideals of Rosa Parks who stood steadfastly for the rights of individuals against unjust laws and oppressive governmental policies. -- Ron Paul

Prefrontal Vortex  posted on  2010-05-11   20:36:24 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: Prefrontal Vortex (#6)

This guarantees full employment for airbrushers.

One of the less stressful jobs in the US it would seem.

"Satan / Cheney in "08" Just Foreign Policy Iraqi Death Estimator

tom007  posted on  2010-05-11   20:41:54 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#8. To: tom007 (#0)

This 3D Playboy centerfold will, indeed, make the world a larger place on Friday.

For certain!

But this will be seen as a minor accomplishment once the "scratch n' sniff" issue hits the market.

Buzzard  posted on  2010-05-12   7:42:05 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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