7:59 am: ZZZZZZZ 8:00 Time to stand on Food Guy’s chest and stare at him until he wakes up. “Wake up, Food Guy! Wake up!!!”
8:00: 01 Food Guy is awake! Mission accomplished!
8:05 Ahhh...food! It’s great! I don’t know what it is! I never know what it is, but it’s FOOD!!! And it’s great!!
8:12 Oh boy! The leash! That means a walk!
8:13 Ahhh…nothing starts the day like peeing on a tree! Or is this a fire hydrant?
8:17 This looks like a good place to poop. I think I’ve pooped here before. Not too sure about that, though.
8:20 Ack! Quit jerking on my leash, Food Guy! It’s not like you never tried to hump a female!
8:22 I have to pee again. Technically, though, I think this is called “marking.” Food Guy gets a little annoyed I do it five times on a walk.
8:25 This is amazing! I stand at the door and stare at it, and Food Guy opens it! The powers I have!!
8:28 I think I’ll run back and forth through the house while Food Guy chases me! Look, I’m spinning in circles and he’s laughing! I think I’ll stand on my hind feet and dance! This is fun!!
8:30 Boy am I pooped! Now Food Guy has turned into Petting Guy! And he looks exactly the same! He sure is smart, but boy is he strange-looking! All the Food People are strange-looking, like really elongated dogs!
8:32 ZZZZZZ
Noon: I’m hungry and I have to pee. Where’s Food Guy?