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All is Vanity
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Title: Think you're free? Think again.
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Jun 20, 2010
Author: The Evil Rabbi Essostein
Post Date: 2010-06-20 14:04:13 by Esso
Keywords: None
Views: 391
Comments: 11

If you're still laboring under the delusion that Uhhmerkka is free, try to do this: Go out and buy a replacement spout for a gas can or a gas can that isn't an EPA/CARB certified, childproof, self-closing, non-vented, Rube Goldberg of a clusterfuck that actually works.

Can't be done, the sale of working gas cans and replacement parts has been outlawed in all 50 states since January 2009.

WE SO FREEEEE!

Poster Comment:

Didn't O'boingo say there were 57 states? Maybe I can get a new spout in one of those 7 'other' states. Hell, I may even splurge for a whole new can if I'm going into the smuggling business.

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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 11.

#5. To: Esso (#0)

Noticed that too. My diesel containers came with some weird contraption on the top that I couldn't figure out and tossed and replaced with a plain old cap. Fortunately I still have a few old gas containers left so I shouldn't need any of those. If I do, there's always the flea market.

purpleman  posted on  2010-06-20   15:12:19 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  

I bought four 5-gallon cans at Menard's on sale for six bucks each figuring I'd just go to my buddy's hardware store and get new spouts. That's when I found out that's it's a violation of federal law to sell non EPA/CARB compliant junk.

I figured out how to rejigger the spouts without destroying them (each spout had 11 parts), and vented the cans by drilling and tapping them for a 1/4-20 wing bolt with an o-ring on them. My "buddy" stuck me for two bucks each for the wing bolts.

Esso  posted on  2010-06-20   15:34:12 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  

That's when I found out that's it's a violation of federal law

Sometimes take a bit of time for new fancy federal law to get into rules posted at the flea market. Other than banning gun sales they aren't too picky.

purpleman  posted on  2010-06-20   21:39:32 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  

I'm having visions of heavily-armed, body armor-clad Federal Gas Spout Police mowing down you anarchistic flea marketeers with withering machine gun fire.

Purpleman's last words: YOU CAN HAVE MY NOZZLE WHEN YOU PRY IT FROM MY COLD, DEAD FINGERS!

Next up: Federal Funnel Forces

Esso  posted on  2010-06-20   22:52:36 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  

On the plus side, the environment will be safe, with more cuddly polar bears for the children. I'm sure there's no downside of the people combusting after being soaked in gasoline trying to get it through that incredibly safe, simple and reliable spigot mechanism. The next upside is that people will stop mowing their lawns thanks to the impossibility of filling the lawn mower which will also be better for the environment.

purpleman  posted on  2010-06-21   5:34:44 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  

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