See other All is Vanity Articles
Title: Why No Jews Died on 9-11
Source:
[None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Jul 16, 2010
Author: Turtle
Post Date: 2010-07-16 11:14:49 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 700
Comments: 13
Ring, ring. “Hello?” “Hyman Goldberg?” “This is.” “Mr. Goldberg, this is Mossad.” “Who? “Mossad, the Israeli secret service.” “Uh, huh, sure it is. And why would Mossad be calling me?” “We’re going to save your life, Hyman.” “This is a joke, right?” “No, it’s not, so please listen.” “I’ll play along with your joke, Mr. Mossad. How are you going to save my life?” “You work in the World Trade Center, right?” “I do. What of it?” “Don’t go to work tomorrow. We’re going to remote-control two airplanes into both towers, after which we have explosives planted in every floor, which we are going to set off so both towers collapse, killing thousands of innocent Americans. Then we’re going to blame it on Arabs, so we can get the U.S. to invade Iraq and get rid of Saddam Hussein.” “What a crackpot you are! Do you expect anyone but a loon to believe such nonsense?” “It’s true! You have to listen to us, Hyman! We’re warning all the 2176 Jews who work in the World Trade Center not to go to work tomorrow! We have to stick together to make sure none of us get killed!” “What about my wife, then? She works with me.” “Is she Jewish?” “No, she’s Christian.” “Oops, sorry Hyman. You can’t warn her. She has to die.” “Hey, wait a minute! This is my wife you’re talking about!” “We’ll get you a new Jewish wife.” “Ugh. A Betty Friedan lookalike? I’d rather go to work tomorrow.” “No, more like Gloria Steinem, only she won’t talk.” “Wow! Are you serious? I let my wife croak and I get a new one who looks like Gloria Steinem? A young Gloria, not the old shriveled-up wrinkled one?” “A young one, Hyman.” “You got a deal! My wife bites the dust tomorrow!” “Thanks, Hyman.” “No, thank you, Mr. Mossad!” “Bye, Mr. Goldberg.” Click. “Who was that on the phone, dear?” “Just an old friend. Say, I won’t be going to work tomorrow. You’ll still open the office for me?” “Yes, dear.” “Good! I’ll have dinner waiting for you when you get home.” “Good night, dear.” “Good night, Gloria.” “Gloria?’ “Myrtle! I mean, good night, Myrtle!”
Post Comment Private Reply Ignore Thread
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
#1. To: Turtle (#0)
More truth than poetry or satire.
Great stuff - thanks.
No israelis died on 911 because they were warned by Odigo, the Israeli instant messaging service. The Silversteins were supposed to be at work but made other plans. Zim, an Israeli company, broke their lease and moved out. Jewish Americans did die on 911.
The Truth of 911 Shall Set You Free From The Lie
Don't forget how it went at OKC. ATF, FBI. Immune.
It gets better, the October Surprise is 3 months away: __________________________________________________________ Except that hundreds of Jews were killed in the WTC attack, including at least 5 Israelis. What country didn't have even 1 death?: Saudi Arabia (it wouldn't count the hijackers).
The article is satire.
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams
Ready to admit yet that Obama is not an American citizen? Plenty of evidence has been posted to you, yet you refuse to acknowledge it. Are you so "mad about Obama" that none of that matters?
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic. Oy, you're such a maven MR. Turtle!
Ha!
"Aba daba daba daba daba daba daba" said the chimp-y to the monk.
What a great cartoon!
The article is a lie. Lots of jews. http://www.9-11heroes.us/victims-world-trade-center.php
For the second time, the article is satire.
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams
#2. To: Turtle (#0)
#3. To: Turtle, Lod (#0)
#4. To: Turtle (#0)
#5. To: Turtle (#0)
Obama is the miscegenated bastard of a white communist whore. True story.
-Schweizerische Schuetzenzeitung (Swiss Shooting Federation) April, 1941
#6. To: Turtle (#0)
#7. To: Shoonra (#6)
Except that hundreds of Jews were killed in the WTC attack, including at least 5 Israelis. What country didn't have even 1 death?: Saudi Arabia (it wouldn't count the hijackers).
#8. To: Shoonra (#6)
Lord Acton
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace
#9. To: Turtle (#0)
#10. To: Turtle (#0)
“No, more like Gloria Steinem, only she won’t talk.”
#11. To: X-15 (#5)
#12. To: Lod, turtle, christine (#2)
#13. To: A K A Stone (#12)
The article is a lie.
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest