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Title: The Cat and the Portuguese
Source: email
URL Source: [None]
Published: Jul 25, 2010
Author: .
Post Date: 2010-07-25 22:39:01 by James Deffenbach
Keywords: None
Views: 333
Comments: 6

The CAT AND THE PORTUGUESE

The Portuguese was aggravated at his wife's cat. Then one beautiful sunny day, took the cat, put it in a bag, tied the bag, put in the trunk of the car, drove 20 blocks, dropped the bag there. When he returned, the cat was on the doorstep. Irritated, the Portuguese repeated the operation, he drove 40 blocks and dropped the bag there. When he returned, the cat was back in the door. Enraged, he repeated the operation, he drove 20 blocks ahead, 30 to the left, 40 on right, 10 down, 32 up ... - Now I want to see! Said portuga. He waited about five minutes, then called home and the woman answered: - Maria, the cat's there? - He has just arrived, why? - Put the sonofabitch on the phone because I'm lost!

KISS

An Argentinean, a Brazilian, a nun and a girl were all in the same elevator.. Suddenly, the power went out in the building and the elevator stopped. In the darkness of the elevator could be heard the sound of a kiss followed by a slap. A few moments later ... again a kiss followed by a slap. Power is soon restored, the light came on and everyone in the elevator kept quiet thinking the following: The Nun: 'One of the two must have kissed the girl and she retaliated with two slaps'. THE GIRL: "One of the two might have tried to kiss me, just kissing the nun and took two slaps'. The ARGENTINO: 'That bastard BRAZILIAN! He kissed the girl twice and she slapped me thinking it was me'. The BRAZILIAN: 'Ha, ha, ha ... kissed the palm of my hand twice and got in two slaps on that Argentino mofo!

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#1. To: James Deffenbach (#0)

deleted

The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.

Eric Stratton  posted on  2010-07-26   8:22:43 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Glad you enjoyed them. You might get the idea from that joke that Brazilians and Argentinians don't like each other much. And you would be correct.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic.
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace

James Deffenbach  posted on  2010-07-26   8:36:01 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

deleted

The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.

Eric Stratton  posted on  2010-07-26   8:44:13 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

1. You have personal experience there?

2. Is it just a political thing?

1. Yes.

2. I really don't know why either group doesn't like the other one. I suppose it is a rivalry in soccer and who knows what else. I have been told, and by someone who seemed to have no particular axe to grind either way, that Argentinians were/are somewhat vulgar and rude and pretty loud in a setting where it might be better to talk a little more softly (like in a restaurant for example).

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic.
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace

James Deffenbach  posted on  2010-07-26   8:59:26 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

I really don't know why either group doesn't like the other one.

I understand that both countries claimed what is now Uruguay. Both Spanish and Portuguese established communities there. According to wikipedia:

In 1811, José Gervasio Artigas, who became Uruguay's national hero, launched a successful revolution against the Spanish authorities, defeating them on May 18 at the Battle of Las Piedras. In 1814 he formed the Liga Federal (Federal League), of which he was declared Protector.

The constant growth of influence and prestige of the Federal League frightened the Portuguese Empire in Brazil (because of its republicanism). In August 1816, they invaded the Eastern Province (with Buenos Aires's tacit complicity)[citation needed], with the intention of destroying the protector and his revolution. The Portuguese forces, thanks to their numerical and material superiority, occupied Montevideo on January 20, 1817, and finally after a struggle for three years in the countryside, defeated Artigas in the Battle of Tacuarembó.

In 1821, the Eastern Province (present-day Uruguay), was annexed by Brazil (as a part of the United Kingdom of Portugal, Brazil and the Algarves), under the name of Província Cisplatina. The Brazilian Empire became independent from Portugal in 1822. In response to the annexation, the Thirty-Three Orientals led by Juan Antonio Lavalleja declared independence on August 25, 1825 supported by the United Provinces of the Río de la Plata (present-day Argentina).

This led to the 500-day Argentina-Brazil War. Neither side gained the upper hand, and in 1828 the Treaty of Montevideo, fostered by the United Kingdom, gave birth to Uruguay as an independent state. The nation's first constitution was adopted on July 18, 1830. The remainder of the 19th century under a series of elected and appointed presidents saw interventions by — and conflicts with — neighboring states, political and economic fluctuations, and large inflows of immigrants, mostly from Europe.

he who wants bread is the servant of the man that will feed him, if a man thus feeds a whole people, they are under his control.

DeaconBenjamin  posted on  2010-07-26   18:59:29 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Thanks for the history lesson. I didn't know about that.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic.
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace

James Deffenbach  posted on  2010-07-26   19:18:28 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

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