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Title: Get Well, Cyni!
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Published: Aug 2, 2010
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Post Date: 2010-08-02 10:52:42 by christine
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Views: 541
Comments: 40
I learned yesterday that Cyni suffered a heart attack last Wednesday. He was hospitalized and is now home recuperating. Update on Phant: She returned home early last week after a bout with septicemia and after having spent several weeks in the hospital and then a rehab facility. I miss them and pray for a full recovery for both.
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#10. To: Cynicom, Phant2000 (#0)
The IRS decides to audit Granddad and summons him to their office. The auditor was not surprised when Granddad showed up with his lawyer. The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full- time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.' I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Granddad. 'How about a demonstration?' The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.' Granddad says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.' The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.' Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.' Now the auditor can tell Granddad isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Granddad removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Granddad's lawyer as a witness. He starts to get nervous. 'Want to go double or nothing?' Granddad asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.' The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Granddad stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Granddad's own lawyer moans and puts his head in his hands. 'Are you okay?' the auditor asks. 'Not really,' says the lawyer. 'This morning, when Granddad told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!' Don't Mess with Old People! ;)
#12. To: christine (#10)
Double ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!
LOL!
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#18. To: christine (#10)
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