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Title: A Typical Date with Turtle
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Aug 6, 2010
Author: Turtle
Post Date: 2010-08-06 11:43:28 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 391
Comments: 12

"So...how about it?"

Smack!

"I'm not that kind of girl!"

"You certainly are!"

"Is it that obvious?"

"Yes!"

"The answer is you, you beast!"

(Pounds of Turtle's chest with her tiny fists)

"Get away from me, you savage, you beast...with you muscular, hairy chest..."

(Swoons, then collapes into Turtle's arms)

"Take me! I'm yours, you manly man! I'm your slave-girl forever!"


Poster Comment:

It's an unpleasant job, but someone has to do it.

Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread  


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#1. To: farmfriend, abraxas (#0)

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams

Turtle  posted on  2010-08-06   11:44:06 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: Turtle (#0)

deleted

The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.

Eric Stratton  posted on  2010-08-06   11:49:03 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: Eric Stratton (#2)

Hey little girl, would you like to see my Pug?

That's a good one! I'll have to use that.

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams

Turtle  posted on  2010-08-06   11:51:11 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: Eric Stratton (#2)

A Typical Date with Turtle

Hey Sis, get in da truck !

"It is unfortunately none too well understood that, just as the State has no money of its own, so it has no power of its own. All power it has is what society gives it, plus what it confiscates from time to time on one pretext or another; there is no other source from which State power can be drawn.”

Albert Jay Nock

noone222  posted on  2010-08-06   11:55:10 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: Turtle (#0)

"Get away from me, you savage, you beast...with you muscular, hairy chest..."

I didn't know turtles had hair.


"Every Person born within the limits of the United States, and subject to their jurisdiction, is by virtue of natural law and national law a citizen of the United States. This will not, of course, include persons born in the United States who are foreigners, aliens, who belong to the families of ambassadors or foreign ministers accredited to the Government of the United States, but will include every other class of persons.
Senator Jacob Howard, Co-author of the citizenship clause of the 14th Amendment, 1866.

farmfriend  posted on  2010-08-06   12:07:34 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: farmfriend (#5)

I didn't know turtles had hair.

Musclar, hairy chests...sweaty...while we smoke Marlboros.

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams

Turtle  posted on  2010-08-06   12:09:34 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: Turtle (#6)

Hmmm I may have to rethink turtles. I'm not into hairy chests or Marlboros. Now put a tool belt on muscular and sweaty and we may have something.


"Every Person born within the limits of the United States, and subject to their jurisdiction, is by virtue of natural law and national law a citizen of the United States. This will not, of course, include persons born in the United States who are foreigners, aliens, who belong to the families of ambassadors or foreign ministers accredited to the Government of the United States, but will include every other class of persons.
Senator Jacob Howard, Co-author of the citizenship clause of the 14th Amendment, 1866.

farmfriend  posted on  2010-08-06   12:45:16 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#8. To: Turtle (#3)

deleted

The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.

Eric Stratton  posted on  2010-08-06   13:18:25 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: Turtle (#0) (Edited)

Wow, a Turtle date is like an Armadillo date.

'Dillo- Hello.
Chick- Oh, hi.
'Dillo- So, would you like to... go out... or something.
Chick- Huh? Me?
'Dillo- Yeah.
Chick- With you?
'Dillo- Um, yeah...
Chick-
'Dillo- Is that a no?
Chick- *On cell phone* You wont guess the dork who just asked me out.
'Dillo- *Whips out his wang*
Chick- *On phone* OHHH... HE'S FLASHING HIS... I'll call you back.

-------
"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known."
-Carl Sagan.

Armadillo  posted on  2010-08-06   22:45:50 ET  (3 images) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#10. To: Armadillo (#9)

Not too unlike a Critter date:

Damsel in distress: My tire is leaking, can you fix it?

Critter: Looks like you need me to plug your hole baby.

Damsel in distress: *swoon* *swoon*


Waiting too late to oppose tyranny has always led to bloodshed.
Hair Extensions Five Towns Merrick Manhasset Roslyn Massapequa Amityville Wantagh Farmingdale East Meadow Long Island, NY

Critter  posted on  2010-08-07   0:43:10 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#11. To: Critter, Armadillo, turtle (#10)

Just nothing like an armadillo penis boys.

Armadillo: If the Nine-banded armadillo were human, its penis would be 4 feet long. Armadillos lead the world in research into the function of the mammalian penis. The members of dead armadillos are regularly harvested from road-kill – a job made easier by the fact that they are so gigantic.


"Every Person born within the limits of the United States, and subject to their jurisdiction, is by virtue of natural law and national law a citizen of the United States. This will not, of course, include persons born in the United States who are foreigners, aliens, who belong to the families of ambassadors or foreign ministers accredited to the Government of the United States, but will include every other class of persons.
Senator Jacob Howard, Co-author of the citizenship clause of the 14th Amendment, 1866.

farmfriend  posted on  2010-08-07   1:23:00 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#12. To: farmfriend (#7)

Now put a tool belt on muscular and sweaty and we may have something.

I have a tool but no belt.

Snicker.

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams

Turtle  posted on  2010-08-07   10:46:25 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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