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Title: I Thought I Would Fall Out of My Chair (my title)
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Aug 10, 2010
Author: .
Post Date: 2010-08-10 19:17:22 by James Deffenbach
Keywords: None
Views: 274
Comments: 12


Poster Comment:

Here's one ol' boy who is gonna have some serious 'splainin' to do!

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#1. To: James Deffenbach, *Agriculture-Environment* (#0)

LOL


"Every Person born within the limits of the United States, and subject to their jurisdiction, is by virtue of natural law and national law a citizen of the United States. This will not, of course, include persons born in the United States who are foreigners, aliens, who belong to the families of ambassadors or foreign ministers accredited to the Government of the United States, but will include every other class of persons.
Senator Jacob Howard, Co-author of the citizenship clause of the 14th Amendment, 1866.

farmfriend  posted on  2010-08-10   20:00:21 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: James Deffenbach (#0)

Who among us can say that's never happened to them?

TooConservative  posted on  2010-08-10   20:41:35 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: TooConservative (#2)

What? Get slapped in the face with a cow's tail while milking her? I've had that happen to me but I never tried to find anything to tie her tail to. Still, I know how aggravating it can be.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic.
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace

James Deffenbach  posted on  2010-08-10   20:48:57 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: farmfriend (#1)

You can almost see the thoughts going through that girl's head. "What did I get myself into with this perv? Out of all the guys in the world I had to hook up with one that liked cows."

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic.
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace

James Deffenbach  posted on  2010-08-10   20:51:21 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: James Deffenbach (#0)

I can understand what the guy saw in the cow, but what did the cow see in him?

angK  posted on  2010-08-10   21:44:54 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: angK (#5)

I can understand what the guy saw in the cow, but what did the cow see in him?

Did you not see that girl? I believe most of us would have divorced the cow for her, ahaha.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic.
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace

James Deffenbach  posted on  2010-08-10   21:50:31 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: James Deffenbach (#0)

not sure where this originated, here's my version of the story I been tellin fir years now:

~ there's some things ya just can't explain ...

~ well ya see, I was trying to milk that new heifer I done bought from Carl over near Racine, she's a might skiddish too, so i waited till all my chores were done, barn was empty cept me n her ... wife promised to bring me some coffee once dishes were done, she's good like that ya know ...

~ so I commenced to milkin and dern if she didn't kick me ... so I took some twine and tied her hind leg to the side of the stall, then commenced to milkin ... I still don't know how, but she managed to kick me again, with the other hoove, so I took some twine and tied her other hind leg to the other side of the stall

~ and I commenced to milkin ~ well that ole gal started whipping me with her tail and I had enough ... stood a couple bales of hay up behind her, climbed up on them and grabbed her tail, was gonna tie it to the rafters and finish my milking ...

~ then realized I didn't have any twine, so I take off my belt with one hand only to have my pants drop and my wife walk in with my coffee ...

~ there's some things ya just can't explain ...


~ the truth will set ya free, but only after it pisses ya off ~

Amandil  posted on  2010-08-10   23:52:09 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#8. To: Amandil (#7)

Were you posting on LP when COB1 posted a story he called The Girlfriend? It was about a guy and two of his buddies who had decided to "get friendly" with some sheep. One of the funniest stories I ever read on LP.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic.
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace

James Deffenbach  posted on  2010-08-11   8:33:20 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: James Deffenbach (#8)

nope,never been to LP that I know of - this place here is the only one that could hold me, seems a higher caliber of conversation on the good days ... I did try GLP for awhile but got tired of puking ...


~ the truth will set ya free, but only after it pisses ya off ~

Amandil  posted on  2010-08-11   9:10:30 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#10. To: Amandil (#9)

GLP? New one on me.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic.
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace

James Deffenbach  posted on  2010-08-11   11:09:29 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#11. To: James Deffenbach (#0)

Damn! A girl AND a cow! The best of both worlds.

You ain't never had a threesome until we been with a hot girl and a hot cow.

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams

Turtle  posted on  2010-08-11   13:28:08 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#12. To: Turtle, Cynicom (#11)

You ain't never had a threesome until we been with a hot girl and a hot cow.

I guess I will just have to take your word for that. But I doubt Cynicom will believe you know anything about hot girls.

Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton

He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic.
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace

James Deffenbach  posted on  2010-08-11   13:32:28 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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