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4play See other 4play Articles Title: Bob Wallace Quotes Phil Davis: When what's left of you gets around to what's left to be gotten, what's left to be gotten won't be worth getting, whatever it is you've got left. Bob Wallace: When I figure out what that means I'll come up with a crushing reply. Bob Wallace: How do you do? Doris: Mutual, I'm sure. Phil Davis: How can a guy *that* ugly have the nerve to have sisters? Bob Wallace: Very brave parents. Bob Wallace: Oh, Phil, when are you going to learn that girls like that are a dime a dozen? Phil Davis: Please, don't quote me the price when I haven't got the time. Bob Wallace: You don't expect me to get serious with the kind of characters you and Rita have been throwing at me, do you? Phil Davis: Well, there have been some nice girls, too, you know. Bob Wallace: Oh yeah, yeah. Like that nuclear scientist we just met out in the hall. Phil Davis: All right, they didn't go to college. They didn't go to Smith. Bob Wallace: Go to Smith? She couldn't even spell it. Phil Davis: Give me one reason, one good reason, why we should spend our last two hours in Florida looking at the sisters of Freckle-Face Haynes, the dog-faced boy. Bob Wallace: Let's just say we're doing it for an old pal in the army. Phil Davis: Well, it's not good, but it's a reason. [to the Haynes sisters] Phil Davis: Mr. Wallace was just saying how remarkable it was that Benny Haynes' sisters should have eyes... [voice cracks] Phil Davis: ...I mean, blue eyes. That is eyes... Bob Wallace: Nice out. Bob Wallace: Miss Haynes, if you're ever under a falling building and someone offers to pick you up and carry you to safety, don't think, don't pause, don't hesitate for a moment, just spit in his eye. Betty Haynes: What did that mean? Bob Wallace: It means we're going to Vermont. Phil Davis: How much is "wow"? Bob Wallace: It's right in between, uh, "ouch" and "boing". Phil Davis: Wow! Bob Wallace: [into his water glass] Pushing, pushing. Phil Davis: [after performing "Sisters"] Hey, we're a smash let's take a bow! Bob Wallace: We'll take a bow down to the jail house! Phil Davis: [about Bob's idea to help the General] I think it's ridiculous, impossible, and insane! Bob Wallace: Anything else? Phil Davis: Yes, I wish I'd thought of it first. Ex-Soldier: [attempting to button his uniform pants] Captain, these things have shrunked! Bob Wallace: Well, your appetite hasn't shrunk. Phil Davis: Oh,I hope I can take back the electric blanket back. Bob Wallace: Where's that? Phil Davis: Under the underwear. Bob Wallace: We ate, and then he ate. We slept and then he slept. Phil Davis: Yeah, then he woke up and nobody slept for forty-eight hours. Phil Davis: [Buying train tickets] Uh, I don't seem to have any cash. Bob Wallace: Where'd you leave that? In your snood? Bob Wallace: [Regarding Phil] I don't know what you see in this tall drink of charged water, but after you get to know him he's almost endurable. Bob Wallace: [to Judy] You're lucky! You might have been stuck with this weirdsmobile for life! Betty Haynes: Mr. Bones? Mr. Bones? How do you feel, Mr. Bones? Phil Davis: Rattlin'! Betty Haynes: Mr. Bones feels rattlin'. Ha ha. That's a good one. Tell a little story, Mr. Bones. Bob Wallace: A funny little story, Mr. Bones! Phil Davis: How do you stop an angry dog from biting you on Monday? Betty Haynes: That joke is old. The answer is to kill the dog on Sunday! Phil Davis: That's not how you stop a dog from biting you on Monday! Betty Haynes: How do you bring a thing about? Phil Davis: Have the doggy's teeth pulled out! Betty Haynes: Oh, Mr. Bones, that's terrible! Phil Davis: Uh-huh. Betty Haynes, Bob Wallace: Yes, Mr. Bones, that's terrible! Phil Davis: Uh-huh. Bob Wallace: I have a feeling I'm not going to like this. Phil Davis: I have a feeling you're gonna hate it. Bob Wallace: Then why should I do it. Phil Davis: Let's just say we're doing it for an old Bob Wallace, Phil Davis: pal in the army... yeah [after Bob has found out about Phil and Judy's phony engagement] Judy Haynes: It's just that she's always been something of a mother hen. Phil Davis: Yeah, and we wanted Mother Hen to leave the nest so that Little Chick could... I guess we laid an egg. Bob Wallace: An egg? Brother, you laid a Vermont volleyball! Bob Wallace: Hey, Davis! How you feelin'? Phil Davis: Pretty good, Captain. Bob Wallace: Just dropped by to thank you for saving my life. Phil Davis: Well, uh, it was a life worth saving. Betty Haynes: Look who's talking about guilt! Bob Wallace: What do you mean by that? Betty Haynes: I mean you shouldn't mix fairy tales with liverwurst and buttermilk. Bob Wallace: What did you have for lunch today? Betty Haynes: I didn't have lunch. Bob Wallace: Maybe you ought to eat some. Bob Wallace: You ought to be horsewhipped. First you, then you, and then you again. Phil Davis: [Looking at Judy; to Bob] Hey, how about those big brown eyes? Bob Wallace: [Looking at Betty] No, they're blue. Phil Davis: [Still looking at Judy] Brown. Bob Wallace: [Still looking at Betty] Uh-uh, blue. Phil Davis: [Follows Bob's gaze and sees Betty] Oh, yeah. *Deep* blue. Bob Wallace: Where's all the snow? Emma Allen: We bring it indoors during the day!
Poster Comment: This is from the Bob Wallace character in 1954's White Christmas. I've only met one person who recognized my name in that movie.
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#1. To: Turtle (#0)
Poor Ole Bob Bob works hard at the plant and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to the local strip club for some fun. The doorman greets them and says "Hey Bob, how ya doin?". Bob's wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no" replied Bob. "He's on my bowling team". When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly more uncomfortable and says "How did she know you drink Budweiser?" "I recognize her, she's the waitress at the golf club and I always have a Bud at the turn honey." A stripper then come over to the table and throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over Bob and says " Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance big boy?" Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Bob follows her and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Bob desperately tries to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her voice calling him every four letter word in the book. The cabby turns around and says, "Geez, Bob you picked up a real bitch this time!"
#2. To: abraxas (#1)
Wrong Bob! You're always wrong....just pitiful!
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