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Title: Rapture Pet Insurance
Source:
Eternal Earth-Bounds Pets
URL Source: [None]
Published: Sep 14, 2010
Author: Unknown
Post Date: 2010-09-14 11:59:51 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 2173
Comments: 50
Effective Sept. 2010: NOW SERVICING ALABAMA and OHIO You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind. We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus. We are currently active in 24 states. Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet's natural life. We currently cover the following states: Maine,New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Michigan, Arkansas, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky, Colorado, Oklahoma, Kansas, Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, North Carolina, Georgia, Alabama and Ohio. Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable. For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $15.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends. Unfortunately at this time we are not equipped to accommodate all species and must limit our services to dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, and small caged mammals. [Please note: we can now offer rescue services for horses, camels, llamas and donkeys in NH,VT, ID and MT ] Thank you for your interest in Eternal Earth-Bound Pets. We hope we can help provide you with peace of mind. Please visit our FAQS page {Note: A portion of income generated from advertising on this site is contributed to community food shelves / food banks in Minnesota and New Hampshire}
Poster Comment: I hope none of those disgusting non-Christians, when they get raptured straight to Hell (which is where they are all going) have any pugs I have to save. Don't much care about chihuahaus and other yappy little dogs.
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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 22.
#5. To: Turtle (#0)
I'm jealous I didn't think of this con game first.
I wouldn't call it a Con game. Rather it is W.C. Fields/Menckenesque: "Never give a sucker an even break."
Quite true. Perhaps though there is opportunity yet untapped. Why, I'm sure some of these nice folks would want insurance to protect the health and welfare of their imaginary friends when they blast off.
Makes me think of Jimmy Stewart's pet rabbit. ;-)
That makes sense. Some bunnies give me rapture just looking at them. Here is a young Debbie Harry.
Looks like a cute and cuddly "bunny" to me. ;-) Although I like her picture on the debut Album cover for "Blondie". She looks like such a hard bitch. I like strong women.
I respect that you're expressing your own preferences, but they're not mine brother. I don't mind strong women (intellectually), but I don't like them to look like they're about to stab me with a fork before raping my cat and lighting my house on fire afterwards. Been around far too many weight-lifting women for my own good I suppose. Not talking the muscles (which are their own peculiar kind of ugly on a woman), but the squared mean look, it's just a total turn off to me. I have a real keen interest in the pin up model types from the 1940's through 1970's though. Can't find many modern analogs (maybe Jessica Alba or the girl from "Legally Blonde"), most "women" in the limelight look like adolescent males with semi-long hair these days (gosh, I wonder why). I like girls that look like girls, fit but with curves in all the right places, with smiling pretty faces, long hair and who can dress in a sexy, attractive manner.
#24. To: SonOfLiberty (#22)
You do have a point. She does look a little pissy in that photo. The anorexic look that seems to be in vogue, or "Heroin Chic", is definitely not a positive for me. Now Jill St. John, in her prime - which to my mind was her 40's, is another matter. I tend to agree with the French adage that a woman doesn't really become interesting until after 35, and I felt that way at 19. ;-)
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#8. To: Ferret (#5)
I'm jealous I didn't think of this con game first.
#11. To: Original_Intent (#8)
Rather it is W.C. Fields/Menckenesque: "Never give a sucker an even break."
#14. To: Ferret (#11)
#16. To: Original_Intent (#14)
"Makes me think of Jimmy Stewart's pet rabbit."
#18. To: Ferret (#16)
#22. To: Original_Intent (#18)
She looks like such a hard bitch. I like strong women.
Replies to Comment # 22. I respect that you're expressing your own preferences, but they're not mine brother. I don't mind strong women (intellectually), but I don't like them to look like they're about to stab me with a fork before raping my cat and lighting my house on fire afterwards.
I like girls that look like girls, fit but with curves in all the right places, with smiling pretty faces, long hair and who can dress in a sexy, attractive manner.
End Trace Mode for Comment # 22.