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Title: A new spin on the old, "When I was your age."
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Sep 16, 2010
Author: .
Post Date: 2010-09-16 00:03:12 by christine
Keywords: None
Views: 1786
Comments: 50

If you are 40, or older, you might think this is hilarious!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways. yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of forty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!

1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

3) Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!

4) There were no MP3 ' s or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!

5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?

6) We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!

7) There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOSH !!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.

8) And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

9) We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids' . Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!

11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

12) And we didn't have microwaves. When we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!

13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!

14) And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!

See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1970 or any time before!


Poster Comment:

i enjoyed the heck out of this one...

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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 36.

#22. To: christine (#0)

That was one great itemized rant, christine.

I'll agree, it was a lot harder to be a kid back in the day.

But then again, I think it was much more fun to be an adult back then too.

randge  posted on  2010-09-16   11:00:55 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#28. To: randge (#22)

I'll agree, it was a lot harder to be a kid back in the day.

But then again, I think it was much more fun to be an adult back then too.

Damn, amen to that sir. And that's the way it should be. Light up your cigs, drink your drinks at work, have adult parties that don't involve sports themes (meaning, parties with adults, not xxx rated parties), flirt with women who enjoyed being flirted with, hunt with your boss from work (because most men hunted), go fishing with buddies (in a way that doesn't involve you getting "punished" by the ever nagging modern wife for daring to not be taking care of the kids 24/7), weekly poker games...

Man, good times....good times. And now, here we are, not doing any of those things in any real quantity, chained to sterile workplaces where no pleasure is condoned and most will get you fired, stuck in 24/7 "soccer mom approved" activities (for those married guys out there, where you're demanded to coo and croon over your childrens' every whim at all hours of the day), forbidden to smoke except on patios outdoors like chattel, facing legal prosecution if you do flirt with a chick...man oh man, we've really fallen. :(

But hey, kids are having a great time, don't have to earn or achieve anything, everybody gets a trophy if they bother to walk away from their video games, all restaurants and venues cater to "family fun" and none to "leave the kids at home" fun any longer (excepting Vegas, but even there they're trying the "family fun" crap). And God help you if you want to stop at the bar after work a couple of times a week and hang with some buddies instead of rushing home to taxi Junior around to his 200 activities.

Heh. Yeah, great world.

SonOfLiberty  posted on  2010-09-16   11:22:43 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#35. To: SonOfLiberty (#28)

Heh. Yeah, great world.

We were living in paradise and didn't know it.

randge  posted on  2010-09-16   13:28:46 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#36. To: randge (#35)

That's the problem with paradises. You never realize you were in one until you no longer are. :)

SonOfLiberty  posted on  2010-09-16   13:37:24 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


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