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Title: Turtle Multitasks
Source:
Unclebob's Treehouse
URL Source: [None]
Published: Oct 10, 2010
Author: Turtle
Post Date: 2010-10-10 13:50:51 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 602
Comments: 22
Me: Dum de dum dum. New Girlfriend: What are you doing? Me: I’m taking a bath in your bathtub. NG: I can see that. I can also see that you’re drinking a cup of coffee and smoking a cigar. But why do you have your shirt in the tub with you? Me: I’m multitasking. I’m washing my shirt along with me. NG: Do you do this a lot? Me: All the time. I buy a gallon of Dr. Bronners citric liquid soap and I wash me, my hair and my clothes in it. It’s dumb to buy shampoo for your hair, soap for your body and detergent for your clothes. It’s a waste of money. Instead I use Dr. Bronners. A gallon costs like $50 but I dilute it and it goes a long way. NG: Don’t you think you’re kinda weird? Me: Some people think that about me, but I see myself as logical and saving a lot of money. I don’t use toothpaste, either, but baking soda. All those corporations try to brainwash people and take their money -- they try to make you think you are benefitting yourself when you’re really diminishing yourself. I have better things to spend my money on than the over-priced crap created by those Cosmodemonic Transnational Megacorporations. I hate them. NG: You think you’re logical? Me: I’m a combination of Spock, Captain Kirk, Scotty and Bones all rolled into one. NG: Is there anything else I should know about you? Me: I buy all my clothes and shoes at thrift stores. The only things I buy new are socks and underwear. There’s a thrift store four blocks from where I live that supports a no-kill shelter and I shop there. Save the pugs! I got a Gevalia coffee-maker for two dollars and a brand-new pair of Nikes for four dollars. I consider myself brilliant. Don’t you? NG; Well, you are smart but you’re still very eccentric. Me: You want to get in the tub with me? NG: Your cigar stinks. Me: (throwing it in the toilet): There! NG: You just threw your cigar in my toilet! Me: Your point? NG: (rolling eyes) Forget it. Me: You ain’t lived until you’ve been scrubbed with Dr. Bronners. I even got a washcloth. I got it at the thrift store, too. Climb in here, honey bunch. NG: God, you are so weird. Me: But lovable! And cute! And adorable! And oodles of fun! NG: You can stop anytime now. Me: Okay.
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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 19.
#4. To: Turtle, abraxas, Original_Intent, Lod, Armadillo, critter (#0)
You wrote a lot of crap in order to make a single point. One of the most interesting marketing campaigns I've seen recently is for the hands free soap dispenser. The idea is that a lot of grubby hands touch the soap dispenser so with the hands free one you are not exposing yourself to these germs. YOU'RE WASHING YOUR HANDS FOR GOD'S SAKE. Are you that much of a germ-a-phobe that you can't handle a few million germs on your hands for the two seconds it takes to move your hands from the soap dispenser to the water stream? Do you have sensor facets in your home as well? How about automatic doors so you don't have to touch the handles?
It takes an armadillo to decipher a turtles ramblings. Turtle- Dum de dum dum.
LOL!
There are no replies to Comment # 19. End Trace Mode for Comment # 19.
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/LatestAll those corporations try to brainwash people and take their money -- they try to make you think you are benefitting yourself when you’re really diminishing yourself. I have better things to spend my money on than the over-priced crap created by those Cosmodemonic Transnational Megacorporations. I hate them.
#16. To: farmfriend, Turtle, abraxas, Original_Intent (#4)
Here's what really happened to Turtle-
"New Girlfriend"- SCREEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM!!!!!
Turtle- Huh? Oh, hello.
"NG"- WHO ARE YOU?! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
Turtle- I’m taking a bath in your bathtub.
"NG"- I can see that. NOW GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
Turtle- I’m multitasking. I’m washing my shirt along with me.
"NG"- I'm calling the police!....
Turtle- I buy a gallon of Dr. Bronners citric liquid soap...
"NG"- (On phone) Police? Help there is a strange man in my tub!
Turtle- I’m a combination of Spock, Captain Kirk, Scotty and Bones all rolled into one.
"NG"- (On phone) Please send help... he's weird.
Turtle- I buy all my clothes and shoes at thrift stores.
"NG"- I HAVE A GUN! GET OUT!!!!!!!
Turtle- You want to get in the tub with me?
"NG"- I'LL SHOOT!!!
Turtle- You ain’t lived until you’ve been scrubbed with Dr. Bronners.
"NG"- Your gross. The police are coming. (sirens in the background.)
Turtle- But lovable! And cute! And adorable! And oodles of fun!
"NG"- There he is officer!.
The police take Turtle away.
#19. To: Armadillo (#16)
Replies to Comment # 19.