[Home] [Headlines] [Latest Articles] [Latest Comments] [Post] [Sign-in] [Mail] [Setup] [Help]
Status: Not Logged In; Sign In
|
4play See other 4play Articles Title: Turtle Multitasks Me: Dum de dum dum. New Girlfriend: What are you doing? Me: I’m taking a bath in your bathtub. NG: I can see that. I can also see that you’re drinking a cup of coffee and smoking a cigar. But why do you have your shirt in the tub with you? Me: I’m multitasking. I’m washing my shirt along with me. NG: Do you do this a lot? Me: All the time. I buy a gallon of Dr. Bronners citric liquid soap and I wash me, my hair and my clothes in it. It’s dumb to buy shampoo for your hair, soap for your body and detergent for your clothes. It’s a waste of money. Instead I use Dr. Bronners. A gallon costs like $50 but I dilute it and it goes a long way. NG: Don’t you think you’re kinda weird? Me: Some people think that about me, but I see myself as logical and saving a lot of money. I don’t use toothpaste, either, but baking soda. All those corporations try to brainwash people and take their money -- they try to make you think you are benefitting yourself when you’re really diminishing yourself. I have better things to spend my money on than the over-priced crap created by those Cosmodemonic Transnational Megacorporations. I hate them. NG: You think you’re logical? Me: I’m a combination of Spock, Captain Kirk, Scotty and Bones all rolled into one. NG: Is there anything else I should know about you? Me: I buy all my clothes and shoes at thrift stores. The only things I buy new are socks and underwear. There’s a thrift store four blocks from where I live that supports a no-kill shelter and I shop there. Save the pugs! I got a Gevalia coffee-maker for two dollars and a brand-new pair of Nikes for four dollars. I consider myself brilliant. Don’t you? NG; Well, you are smart but you’re still very eccentric. Me: You want to get in the tub with me? NG: Your cigar stinks. Me: (throwing it in the toilet): There! NG: You just threw your cigar in my toilet! Me: Your point? NG: (rolling eyes) Forget it. Me: You ain’t lived until you’ve been scrubbed with Dr. Bronners. I even got a washcloth. I got it at the thrift store, too. Climb in here, honey bunch. NG: God, you are so weird. Me: But lovable! And cute! And adorable! And oodles of fun! NG: You can stop anytime now. Me: Okay.
Post Comment Private Reply Ignore Thread Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 3.
#3. To: Turtle (#0)
..... "I even got a washcloth. I got it at the thrift store, too." That's an interesting use for old jocks.. lol
There are no replies to Comment # 3. End Trace Mode for Comment # 3.
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest |
||
|
[Home]
[Headlines]
[Latest Articles]
[Latest Comments]
[Post]
[Sign-in]
[Mail]
[Setup]
[Help]
|
||