See other 4play Articles
Title: Awful Cheap Awful Wines
Source:
Unclebob's Treehouse
URL Source: [None]
Published: Oct 24, 2010
Author: Bob Wallace
Post Date: 2010-10-24 13:41:33 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 640
Comments: 22
When I was in high school there were two wines we drank: Annie Green Springs and Boone’s Farm. Both cost 98 cents a bottle, which is why we drank them. They were terrible wines. We once tried MD 20/20, which was weird colors like orange and blue and tasted like mouthwash and was lots worse than Annie and Boone’s. Other horrible wines, such as Thunderbird (“What’s the word? THUNDERBIRD!”) we never saw since they were sold in places we did not frequent. We also once ran across some Everclear, which we heard would burn, so we poured some out and lit it. It burned with a blue flame. When I drank a swallow, I found out exactly where my esophagus and stomach were, because they were outlined with a distinct burning sensation. I never drank any good wine until I was 26, when I woman I was dating introduced me to some good German white wine. The difference between it and my high school escapades shocked me – just as I was shocked when I realized my mother’s percolated boiled cheap stale Folgers was not how all coffee tasted. Annie Green Springs is no longer made, which is too bad, since it was a great name. I wish I had at least kept a bottle, although I’m sure I can find an empty bottle with a tattered label on the internet, probably for an outrageous price. Boone’s Farm is still made, since I saw some bottles at the grocery store, on the bottom shelf, where the cheap stuff is put, because the store wants you to buy the expensive stuff they place at eye level. The bottles I saw were $2.70 a bottle. I thought, good Lord, when you factor in inflation, if I was still in high school, this junk would probably be selling for about a quarter a bottle! Wine a quarter a bottle! I still can’t stand cheap wine. I couldn’t stand it in high school, although once you started drinking it, it didn’t taste so bad. These days, I still drink German white wine, which is about $8, and also mead, which is pretty expensive at $16, but mead is what the Vikings drank out of the skulls of their enemies, which is what I do. Which I why I no longer have any enemies! Don’t get me started on cigars.
Post Comment Private Reply Ignore Thread
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
#1. To: Turtle, abraxas, farmfriend (#0)
I thought I would run this outrageous statement by ab and ff and see if they agree with that. LOL!
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic. Turtle is not my enemy. He just doesn't have as big a penis as Armadillo.
Tough women come from New York, sweet women from Texas, prissy women from Southern California, but we NORTHERN CALIFORNIA WOMEN have fire & ice in our blood. We can ride 4-wheelers, be a princess, throw a left hook, pack heat, hunt with the men, bake a cake, love with passion, and if we have an opinion, you know you're going to hear it!! I ain't even gonna ask the obvious question.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic. They have crushes on me.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
Turtle is not my enemy. He just doesn't have as big a penis as Armadillo. Not being a fancier of Penises I'll stick to wine.
"One of the least understood strategies of the world revolution now moving rapidly toward its goal is the use of mind control as a major means of obtaining the consent of the people who will be subjects of the New World Order." K.M. Heaton, The National Educator
Turtle is not my enemy. He just doesn't have as big a penis as Armadillo. I ain't even gonna ask the obvious question. Amadillo: 80 Turtle: 80000000000000
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
They have crushes on me. Uh, Turdle old buddy wanting to crush you is not the same as "a crush". Poor Turdle, always the last to know.
"One of the least understood strategies of the world revolution now moving rapidly toward its goal is the use of mind control as a major means of obtaining the consent of the people who will be subjects of the New World Order." K.M. Heaton, The National Educator
I don't think the question was that obvious. : )
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
lol....you beat me to it.
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
Hee, hee, hee. "One of the least understood strategies of the world revolution now moving rapidly toward its goal is the use of mind control as a major means of obtaining the consent of the people who will be subjects of the New World Order." K.M. Heaton, The National Educator
No point in asking me. I sure wouldn't know.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic. James, that one was rhetorical and mostly comical. : )
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
I figured as much but didn't want to just leave that one laying for some smart aleck to tee up if you know what I mean.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic. You know I can't resist when an opportunity to tease Turtle presents itself.
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
Last year we started making our own wines. I have to say that it's a fantastic way to learn patience, and get a degree in science. I probably studied more on chemistry with regards to winemaking than I did working in plastics. What we've created here at home has been far and away better than what we've been buying, unless you're talking bottles in the 30 to 40 dollar range. We have about 300 bottles from 5 different batches that should carry us through the next few years. We have also made port, which was quite an interesting process. In December and January we are going to begin learning Distilling Liquor which will hopefully allow me to create some really fine alcohol. If not, then there's always a gasoline substitute. Will keep you all apprised. As far as penis sizes go, from what I understand it's not the length, it's Girth that makes the difference. It's also not just the meat, it's the motion.
It is better to be hated for what you are, than loved for what you are not. - Tommy The Mad Artist.
Mmmmmm, size does matter. There are consequences to making fun of Turtle, all unpleasant, some horrible, a few that can't even be imagined.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
I made some wine in high school when I was 16 but it did not work out. Soon I will buy a mead-making kit, which sounds the easiest and besides, I'm really fond of mead.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
I prefer making Schnapps. Generally I don't like commercial schnapps because it's too sweet. Mine is just right and since Ab is sweet enough already I don't need overdo it with schnapps that's too sweet. : ) Secret family recipe........delicious!!
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
Have you heard about 2 buck chuck? Because you can't always judge a wine by its cost. Oak farms also makes a fairly decent Cabernet. Best beer? "You arrogant bastard" a pricey ale that is worth every penny.
Best beer I have ever tasted. Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic. Mead is not easy at all, and takes upwards of 3 years to turn out the higher end stuff. We've got a batch that's hitting the 18 month mark next month and isn't even close to being ready.
It is better to be hated for what you are, than loved for what you are not. - Tommy The Mad Artist.
mead is what the Vikings drank out of the skulls of their enemies, which is what I do. Which I why I no longer have any enemies!
Lord Acton
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace
#2. To: James Deffenbach, Turtle, abraxas, Armadillo (#1)
I thought I would run this outrageous statement by ab and ff and see if they agree with that. LOL!
#3. To: farmfriend (#2)
Turtle is not my enemy. He just doesn't have as big a penis as Armadillo.
Lord Acton
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace
#4. To: James Deffenbach (#1)
I thought I would run this outrageous statement by ab and ff and see if they agree with that. LOL!
#5. To: farmfriend (#2)
I thought I would run this outrageous statement by ab and ff and see if they agree with that. LOL!
#6. To: James Deffenbach, farmfriend (#3)
#7. To: Turtle, James Deffenbach, abraxas, farmfriend, all (#4)
I thought I would run this outrageous statement by ab and ff and see if they agree with that. LOL!
#8. To: James Deffenbach, farmfriend, Turtle (#3)
(Edited)
I ain't even gonna ask the obvious question.
#9. To: Original_Intent, Turtle (#7)
Uh, Turdle old buddy wanting to crush you is not the same as "a crush".
#10. To: abraxas (#9)
#11. To: abraxas (#8)
Okay, I will. Does Turtle have a penis? lol
Lord Acton
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace
#12. To: James Deffenbach (#11)
No point in asking me.
#13. To: abraxas (#12)
Lord Acton
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace
#14. To: James Deffenbach, Turtle (#13)
#15. To: Turtle (#0)
#16. To: farmfriend (#2)
Turtle is not my enemy. He just doesn't have as big a penis as Armadillo.
#17. To: abraxas (#14)
You know I can't resist when an opportunity to tease Turtle presents itself.
#18. To: TommyTheMadArtist (#15)
#19. To: turtle, tomythemadartist (#18)
#20. To: Turtle (#0)
#21. To: titorite (#20)
Lord Acton
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace
#22. To: Turtle (#18)
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest