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Title: It Pays to Know German
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Published: Nov 10, 2010
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Post Date: 2010-11-10 09:08:04 by James Deffenbach
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Views: 392
Comments: 23
IT PAYS TO KNOW GERMAN An Amish Farmer walking through his field notices a man drinking from his pond with his hand. The Amish Farmer shouts: "Trinken Sie nicht das Wasser, die Kuhe und die Schweine haben in ihm geschissen!" Which means: "Don't drink the water, the cows and the pigs have sh*t in it!" The man shouts back: "I'm a Muslim, I don't understand your gibberish. Speak English, Infidel!" The Amish Farmer shouts back in English: "Use two hands, you'll get more!"
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#1. To: James Deffenbach (#0)
The blind sort of Muslim-phobia embodied in this joke is as repugnant as unregenerate Jew-hatred. I have known thousands of Muslims, and I have never heard one of them use the word "infidel."
I think I would have changed the words, (some other term than infidel). Still, not all that funny. I'd have an easier time criticizing or making fun of Muslims if our govt wasn't in a war with them. I've always wondered what kind of jokes Germans told about Jews or Gypsies in the 30s-40s. Really. Were any of them funny in themselves, once you ignore the policies that were carried against them by the state? So far no one has come up with any historic chronicling or translations that I know of. For that matter, I wonder what jokes Arabs or Iranians tell about Americans today. Any sources?
November 5, 2010 At first glance it looks like any tatty old lampshade - the sort that are gathering dust in houses all over the world. Then you notice the weird, parchment-like fabric stretched over eight panels, so thin it is almost translucent. On closer inspection the yellowy material is marked with strange pores, filaments and patterns which look disturbingly like one thing only - HUMAN SKIN. Surely it can’t be? The lamp’s owner Mark Jacobson said: “It weighs about a pound. But the more time you spend with it the more it begins to weigh heavy on your mind. It really does look strange. “We’ve all heard the stories of the Nazi human lampshades.” There have been many fakes over the years but no proven examples of a real Nazi lamp made from the skin of Jewish prisoners in concentration camps during the Second World War. However, one crucial early scientific test set this lamp apart. When Mark, an American, sent a small piece away for DNA testing at Bode Technology near Washington DC it came back as “100 per cent human”.
Interesting. I once posed the question on one of these forums a few years back if there was any evidence to the lampshade story. Still, it begs the question: what kind of jokes did Nazis tell? And were any of them funny in themselves?
I guess you missed the sublime humour. "Terrible," says one. "Persecutions, no rations, discrimination, and quotas. Sometimes I think we would have been better off if we had never been born." "Sure," says his friend, "but who has that much luck--maybe one in 50,000." And here is another knee-slapper:
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#14. To: randge, James Deffenbach (#1)
#17. To: PnbC (#14)
I've always wondered what kind of jokes Germans told about Jews or Gypsies in the 30s-40s. Really. Were any of them funny in themselves, once you ignore the policies that were carried against them by the state?
London - Did Nazis Make Lampshades From Jewish Prisoners' "Skin"?
#21. To: buckeroo (#17)
#23. To: PnbC (#21)
(Edited)
Two Jews in Berlin are discussing their plight.
As Hitler's armies faced more and more setbacks, he asked his astrologer, "Am I going to lose the war?"
"Yes," the astrologer said.
"Then, am I going to die?" Hitler asked.
"Yes."
"When am I going to die?"
"On a Jewish holiday."
"But on what holiday?"
"Any day you die will be a Jewish holiday."
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