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Title: It Pays to Know German
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Published: Nov 10, 2010
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Post Date: 2010-11-10 09:08:04 by James Deffenbach
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Views: 284
Comments: 23
IT PAYS TO KNOW GERMAN An Amish Farmer walking through his field notices a man drinking from his pond with his hand. The Amish Farmer shouts: "Trinken Sie nicht das Wasser, die Kuhe und die Schweine haben in ihm geschissen!" Which means: "Don't drink the water, the cows and the pigs have sh*t in it!" The man shouts back: "I'm a Muslim, I don't understand your gibberish. Speak English, Infidel!" The Amish Farmer shouts back in English: "Use two hands, you'll get more!"
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#1. To: James Deffenbach (#0)
The blind sort of Muslim-phobia embodied in this joke is as repugnant as unregenerate Jew-hatred. I have known thousands of Muslims, and I have never heard one of them use the word "infidel."
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. - Aesop
Lighten up, it's just a joke.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic. You get around.
A Paul for President! It's a modular joke. You can put any object upon whose head you want to pee kneeling by that pond taking a drink.
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. - Aesop
Well, change it to someone whose head you want to pi$$ on. I didn't make the joke up, just posted it.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic. Sorry. Extremely grumpy today. Gotta go to work now. Cheers. :)
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. - Aesop
Es ist ein rose entsprungen und hat ein Blumlein bracht A Paul for President! Round, round, round, I get around, sayeth the Beach Boys.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
und hat ein Blumlein bracht It is a rose sprung and has introduced a Blumlein I don't know what any of that has to do with anything but, oh well...
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic. Means that Advent will soon be upon us.
Oh. Thanks.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic. You just ate up your entire free association quota for the day.
A Paul for President! And along comes Mary...
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
I think I would have changed the words, (some other term than infidel). Still, not all that funny. I'd have an easier time criticizing or making fun of Muslims if our govt wasn't in a war with them. I've always wondered what kind of jokes Germans told about Jews or Gypsies in the 30s-40s. Really. Were any of them funny in themselves, once you ignore the policies that were carried against them by the state? So far no one has come up with any historic chronicling or translations that I know of. For that matter, I wonder what jokes Arabs or Iranians tell about Americans today. Any sources?
Democrats don't mind war as long as they can have big government. Republicans don't mind big government as long as they can have war. I don't know, of course. I can think of some names that would make pretty good "American jokes" all by themselves, though. Gee-Dumbya. The Obummer. Hannity. Coulter. Olberman. Maddow. Hagee. Foxman. The list could go on and on. We gots lotsa jokes.
- - - - - - - - - - - Non-modular joke: Q. What's the difference between the Vietnam War and the Iraq War? We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. - Aesop
November 5, 2010 At first glance it looks like any tatty old lampshade - the sort that are gathering dust in houses all over the world. Then you notice the weird, parchment-like fabric stretched over eight panels, so thin it is almost translucent. On closer inspection the yellowy material is marked with strange pores, filaments and patterns which look disturbingly like one thing only - HUMAN SKIN. Surely it can’t be? The lamp’s owner Mark Jacobson said: “It weighs about a pound. But the more time you spend with it the more it begins to weigh heavy on your mind. It really does look strange. “We’ve all heard the stories of the Nazi human lampshades.” There have been many fakes over the years but no proven examples of a real Nazi lamp made from the skin of Jewish prisoners in concentration camps during the Second World War. However, one crucial early scientific test set this lamp apart. When Mark, an American, sent a small piece away for DNA testing at Bode Technology near Washington DC it came back as “100 per cent human”. Whaddaya mean? Gee-Dub was a vital part of the Vietnam war effort. North Vietnamese MiGs never did achieve air superiority over Texas and Louisiana, did they? And those skies were guarded by the shrub, every time he was sober enough to find a plane! I sure do miss seeing that cokehead's simian smirk. About like I miss having a tooth drilled, that is.
- - - - - - - - - - - What I kinda had in mind was a joke I read about what the French would say before using an outhouse: "I'm going to telephone Hitler". Anglophones I imagine used the term "Shitler", though surprisingly I haven't heard of it actually being used. Were they too puritanical?
Democrats don't mind war as long as they can have big government. Republicans don't mind big government as long as they can have war. That's excellent, too. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go and phone O'Bomber.
- - - - - - - - - - - Interesting. I once posed the question on one of these forums a few years back if there was any evidence to the lampshade story. Still, it begs the question: what kind of jokes did Nazis tell? And were any of them funny in themselves?
Democrats don't mind war as long as they can have big government. Republicans don't mind big government as long as they can have war. And what would the odds have been that you would have found him in that condition (sober) very often? It's a wonder the Viet Cong didn't take over Texas, Louisiana and Alabama.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic. I guess you missed the sublime humour. "Terrible," says one. "Persecutions, no rations, discrimination, and quotas. Sometimes I think we would have been better off if we had never been born." "Sure," says his friend, "but who has that much luck--maybe one in 50,000." And here is another knee-slapper:
#2. To: randge (#1)
Lord Acton
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace
#3. To: randge (#1)
I have known thousands of Muslims
Whites need to be shown darkie won't vote for him.
#4. To: James Deffenbach (#2)
Lighten up, it's just a joke
#5. To: randge (#4)
You can put any object upon whose head you want to pee kneeling by that pond taking a drink.
Lord Acton
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace
#6. To: James Deffenbach (#5)
#7. To: James Deffenbach (#0)
Aus einer Wurzel zart
Wie uns die Alten sungen
von Jesse kam die Art
Mitten im kalten Winter
Wohl zu der halben Nacht
Whites need to be shown darkie won't vote for him.
#8. To: Prefrontal Vortex (#3)
You get around.
#9. To: Prefrontal Vortex (#7)
Es ist ein rose entsprungen
Aus einer Wurzel zart
Wie uns die Alten sungen
von Jesse kam die Art
Mitten im kalten Winter
Wohl zu der halben Nacht
From a tender root
As of old have sung
Jesse came by the way
Amid the cold of winter
Well to half the night
Lord Acton
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace
#10. To: James Deffenbach (#9)
I don't know what any of that has to do with anything but, oh well...
#11. To: Ada (#10)
Lord Acton
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace
#12. To: Turtle (#8)
Whites need to be shown darkie won't vote for him.
#13. To: Prefrontal Vortex (#12)
association
#14. To: randge, James Deffenbach (#1)
If you believe in small government, then you shouldn't be in the White House.
#15. To: PnbC (#14)
For that matter, I wonder what jokes Arabs or Iranians tell about Americans today. Any sources?
Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. -- H. L. Mencken
#16. To: Enderby (#15)
A. George W. Bush had a plan to get out of the Vietnam War.
#17. To: PnbC (#14)
I've always wondered what kind of jokes Germans told about Jews or Gypsies in the 30s-40s. Really. Were any of them funny in themselves, once you ignore the policies that were carried against them by the state?
London - Did Nazis Make Lampshades From Jewish Prisoners' "Skin"?
#18. To: randge (#16)
Q. What's the difference between the Vietnam War and the Iraq War?
A. George W. Bush had a plan to get out of the Vietnam War.
Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. -- H. L. Mencken
#19. To: randge, Enderby (#14)
If you believe in small government, then you shouldn't be in the White House.
#20. To: PnbC (#19)
"I'm going to telephone Hitler"
Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. -- H. L. Mencken
#21. To: buckeroo (#17)
If you believe in small government, then you shouldn't be in the White House.
#22. To: Enderby (#18)
Whaddaya mean? Gee-Dub was a vital part of the Vietnam war effort. North Vietnamese MiGs never did achieve air superiority over Texas and Louisiana, did they? And those skies were guarded by the shrub, every time he was sober enough to find a plane!
Lord Acton
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace
#23. To: PnbC (#21)
(Edited)
Two Jews in Berlin are discussing their plight.
As Hitler's armies faced more and more setbacks, he asked his astrologer, "Am I going to lose the war?"
"Yes," the astrologer said.
"Then, am I going to die?" Hitler asked.
"Yes."
"When am I going to die?"
"On a Jewish holiday."
"But on what holiday?"
"Any day you die will be a Jewish holiday."
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