[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Sign-in]  [Mail]  [Setup]  [Help] 

Status: Not Logged In; Sign In

Pepe Escobar: So the death cult "defends itself" by bombing.. Banks Are Hiding Credit Losses (Here’s How) | Bill Moreland of BankRegData Housing stability is being propped up by hidden bailouts and toxic FHA debt, Why Did Qatar's Air Defenses Fail During Israel's Attack? German POWs Expected Execution — Instead an American Farmer Invited Them for Dinner Charlie Kirk has been shot Elon Musk Commits $1 Million To Murals Of Iryna Zarutska Nationwide, Turning Public Spaces Into Culture War Battlegrounds Trump's spiritual advisor, Paula White: "To say no to President Trump would be saying no to God." NETHERLANDS: Young natives are hunted and beaten on the streets by savage migrants Female Police Officers Arrest Violent Man The Ponytail Police In Action Lighter than Hare - Restored Classic Bugs Bunny You'll Think Twice About Seeing Your Medical Doctor After This! MUST SEE Los Angeles man creates glass that withstands hammers, saving jewelry from thieves. This is F*CKING DISGUSTING... [The news MSM wishes you didn't see] Nepal's Gen Z protest against Govt in Kathmandu Explained In-depth Analysis 13 Major World War III Developments That Have Happened Just Within The Past 48 Hours France On Fire! Chaos & Anarchy grip Paris as violent protesters clash with police| Macron to quit? FDA Chief Says No Solid Evidence Supporting Hepatitis B Vaccine At Birth "Hundreds of Bradley Fighting Vehicles POURING into Chicago" 'I'll say every damn name': Marjorie Taylor Green advocates for Epstein victims during rally The long-awaited federal crackdown on illegal alien crime in Chicago has finally arrived. Cash Jordan: ICE BLOCKS 'Cartel Caravan'... HAULS 'Army of Illegals' BACK TO MEXICO Berenson On Black Violence, Woke Lies, & Right-Wing Rage What the Professor omitted about the collapse of the American Empire. Israel Tried to Kill Hamas in Qatar — Here’s What REALLY Happened Katie Hopkins: Laurence Fox and my beaver. NOT FOR THE WEAK Government Accidentally Reveals Someone Inside Twitter Fabricated 'Gotcha' Accounts To Frame Conservative Firebrand The Magna Carta Of 2022 – Worldwide Declaration of Freedom Hamas Accuses Trump Of A Set-Up In Doha, After 5 Leaders Killed In Israeli Strike Cash Jordan: Angry Voters Go “Shelter To Shelter”... EMPTYING 13 Migrant Hotels In 2 Hours

4play
See other 4play Articles

Title: word play
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Nov 10, 2010
Author: .
Post Date: 2010-11-10 17:20:57 by farmfriend
Ping List: *Humor-Weird News*     Subscribe to *Humor-Weird News*
Keywords: None
Views: 697
Comments: 29

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. The knight who defeated the greatest number of enemies was Sir Cumcision. He cut the heads off every dick in the kingdom. Sir Cumlocution bored the other knights with long, rambling tales of his exploits. Meanwhile, Sir Cumnavigator sought the Holy Grail on the island of Madagascar. Sir Tificate of Deposit kept detailed records of everybody's monthly dues payments. Sir Cumstances dictated to the King, forcing his actions. Sir Veillant was a spy! Sir Cumjacent was the laziest knight, always just laying around. Sir Rhosis turned out to be an alcoholic. Subscribe to *Humor-Weird News*

Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread  

Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 12.

#11. To: farmfriend, all (#0)

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce .

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present .

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted.

But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

Original_Intent  posted on  2010-11-11   22:37:47 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  

Gotta love it.

Why do we drive on a parkway but park on a driveway?

farmfriend  posted on  2010-11-12   0:56:48 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  

#13. To: farmfriend (#12)

Why do we have 3 ways to say "two"?

Still there are positives of that I am positive. English has more synonyms than any other language I am aware of. You can achieve subtle distinctions more readily through the artful use of the language's range. English is the writer and story teller's language.

Original_Intent  posted on  2010-11-12 01:29:51 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  

Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest

[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Sign-in]  [Mail]  [Setup]  [Help]