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Title: word play
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Published: Nov 10, 2010
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Post Date: 2010-11-10 17:20:57 by farmfriend
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Views: 679
Comments: 29
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. The knight who defeated the greatest number of enemies was Sir Cumcision. He cut the heads off every dick in the kingdom. Sir Cumlocution bored the other knights with long, rambling tales of his exploits. Meanwhile, Sir Cumnavigator sought the Holy Grail on the island of Madagascar. Sir Tificate of Deposit kept detailed records of everybody's monthly dues payments. Sir Cumstances dictated to the King, forcing his actions. Sir Veillant was a spy! Sir Cumjacent was the laziest knight, always just laying around. Sir Rhosis turned out to be an alcoholic. Subscribe to *Humor-Weird News*
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#1. To: farmfriend (#0)
What did Sir Loin eat?
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
And Sir Prises' gifts were what?
maybe a hot babe for sirgent the carter
And Sir Cumspection was I presume in charge of spectacles?
"One of the least understood strategies of the world revolution now moving rapidly toward its goal is the use of mind control as a major means of obtaining the consent of the people who will be subjects of the New World Order." K.M. Heaton, The National Educator
Sir Cumflex was always correcting everyones pronunciation.
Sir Factant brings Sir Face together.
Not to mention Sir Raglio in charge of Pasta.
"One of the least understood strategies of the world revolution now moving rapidly toward its goal is the use of mind control as a major means of obtaining the consent of the people who will be subjects of the New World Order." K.M. Heaton, The National Educator
And the winner of the George Hamilton look alike contest was Sir Tan.
"One of the least understood strategies of the world revolution now moving rapidly toward its goal is the use of mind control as a major means of obtaining the consent of the people who will be subjects of the New World Order." K.M. Heaton, The National Educator
Sir Culate just kept spinning around.
And the Art Director for the Court was Sir Real.
"One of the least understood strategies of the world revolution now moving rapidly toward its goal is the use of mind control as a major means of obtaining the consent of the people who will be subjects of the New World Order." K.M. Heaton, The National Educator
1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce . 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present . 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. 19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?
"One of the least understood strategies of the world revolution now moving rapidly toward its goal is the use of mind control as a major means of obtaining the consent of the people who will be subjects of the New World Order." K.M. Heaton, The National Educator
Gotta love it. Why do we drive on a parkway but park on a driveway?
Tough women come from New York, sweet women from Texas, prissy women from Southern California, but we NORTHERN CALIFORNIA WOMEN have fire & ice in our blood. We can ride 4-wheelers, be a princess, throw a left hook, pack heat, hunt with the men, bake a cake, love with passion, and if we have an opinion, you know you're going to hear it!! Why do we have 3 ways to say "two"? Still there are positives of that I am positive. English has more synonyms than any other language I am aware of. You can achieve subtle distinctions more readily through the artful use of the language's range. English is the writer and story teller's language.
"One of the least understood strategies of the world revolution now moving rapidly toward its goal is the use of mind control as a major means of obtaining the consent of the people who will be subjects of the New World Order." K.M. Heaton, The National Educator
I know forums have helped with my language use. Dealing only in the written word, you learn to use language for clarity of thought and idea. While I love my smilies, it can not substitute for something well written.
Tough women come from New York, sweet women from Texas, prissy women from Southern California, but we NORTHERN CALIFORNIA WOMEN have fire & ice in our blood. We can ride 4-wheelers, be a princess, throw a left hook, pack heat, hunt with the men, bake a cake, love with passion, and if we have an opinion, you know you're going to hear it!! Every language has its peculiarities. We should all go back to speaking Latin. Not to mention E Pluribus Scrotum (In balls we trust).
"One of the least understood strategies of the world revolution now moving rapidly toward its goal is the use of mind control as a major means of obtaining the consent of the people who will be subjects of the New World Order." K.M. Heaton, The National Educator
And that was one of my original reasons for visiting forums - to improve my use of language. I've gotten lots of practice. ;-)
"One of the least understood strategies of the world revolution now moving rapidly toward its goal is the use of mind control as a major means of obtaining the consent of the people who will be subjects of the New World Order." K.M. Heaton, The National Educator
Carpe Diem Dillo!!
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
Not quite. "In balls we trust" would be "scrotum confidimus."
Carpe Cerevisi (Seize the beer). Apunde te vel me? : )
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
I've found that as well. I used forums to try to get some social skills. I'm painfully shy in real life and my lack of social skills (phraseology, eye contact, body language) makes people uncomfortable. Forum discussions and online friends have helped.
Not quite. "E Pluribus Scrotum" means roughly "out of many, scrotum". "In balls we trust" would be "scrotum confidimus." But isn't that true? Or should it be "out of scrotum, many"? "One of the least understood strategies of the world revolution now moving rapidly toward its goal is the use of mind control as a major means of obtaining the consent of the people who will be subjects of the New World Order." K.M. Heaton, The National Educator
A bene placito. Cogito sumere potum alterum. (blushing) Quo signo nata est? ; ) Omnia vincit amor, nos et cedamus amori.
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
Aquarius. Credo fatum nos coegisse. Sic erat in fatis. ; ) Apparet te habere ingenium profondum. Quos amor verus tenuit, tenebit -- Seneca
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
Cras amet qui nunquam amavit; quique amavit, cras amet. Mea navis aëricumbens anguillis abundat.
lol....... Noli nothis permittere te terere, Dillo!!! Nihil est miserum nisi cum putes. : )
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
#2. To: farmfriend (#0)
#3. To: Lod (#2)
And Sir Prises' gifts were what
#4. To: farmfriend (#0)
#5. To: farmfriend (#0)
#6. To: farmfriend (#0)
#7. To: farmfriend (#0)
#8. To: farmfriend (#0)
#9. To: farmfriend (#0)
how long can this go on?
#10. To: farmfriend (#0)
#11. To: farmfriend, all (#0)
#12. To: Original_Intent (#11)
#13. To: farmfriend (#12)
#14. To: Original_Intent (#13)
You can achieve subtle distinctions more readily through the artful use of the language's range.
#15. To: Original_Intent (#11)
I like the sound of French but hate the spelling. Words contain sounds of letters that are not there, and letters that are there are not pronounced.
Omnia dicta fortiora si dicta Latina.
#16. To: Armadillo (#15)
#17. To: farmfriend (#14)
I know forums have helped with my language use. Dealing only in the written word, you learn to use language for clarity of thought and idea. While I love my smilies, it can not substitute for something well written.
#18. To: Armadillo (#15)
We should all go back to speaking Latin.
#19. To: Original_Intent (#16)
Not to mention E Pluribus Scrotum (In balls we trust).
"E Pluribus Scrotum" means roughly "out of many, scrotum".
#20. To: abraxas (#18)
Carpe Diem Dillo!!
#21. To: Armadillo (#20)
#22. To: Original_Intent, farmfriend (#17)
And that was one of my original reasons for visiting forums - to improve my use of language. I've gotten lots of practice.
If you really want to improve your writing, write a book. I wrote a sci-fi novel years ago (never published, lost interest in editing it) and had to learn all the things I ignored in school English class.
#23. To: Armadillo (#19)
Not to mention E Pluribus Scrotum (In balls we trust).
#24. To: abraxas (#21)
Apunde te vel me? : )
Homo nudus cum nuda iacebat. ;)
#25. To: Armadillo (#24)
#26. To: abraxas (#25)
Cogito sumere potum alterum. (blushing)
Quo signo nata est? ; )
Omnia vincit amor, nos et cedamus amori.
Amor animi arbitrio sumitur, non ponitur. ;)
#27. To: Armadillo (#26)
Credo fatum nos coegisse. Amor animi arbitrio sumitur, non ponitur. ;)
#28. To: abraxas (#27)
Haec olim meminisse iuvabit.
#29. To: Armadillo (#28)
Mea navis aëricumbens anguillis abundat.
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