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Title: I Just Realized I'm a WHORE!!!
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Published: Nov 13, 2010
Author: Turtle
Post Date: 2010-11-13 11:55:42 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 2747
Comments: 75
One of my ex-ex-ex-girlfiends (I mean friend) sent me a $340 Garmin GPS because of all the times I consoled her with my penis. Now that I think about it, that's how I got most of the stuff I own. OMG, I just realized I'm a WHORE!!
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#1. To: farmfriend, abraxas (#0)
You both may start in now.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
Are you complaining or advertising? This ain't Craigslist, ya know.
In your wildest machinations, it never happened.
LOL how do you top that?
Tough women come from New York, sweet women from Texas, prissy women from Southern California, but we NORTHERN CALIFORNIA WOMEN have fire & ice in our blood. We can ride 4-wheelers, be a princess, throw a left hook, pack heat, hunt with the men, bake a cake, love with passion, and if we have an opinion, you know you're going to hear it!! Complaining. Hookers advertise on Craigslist? I didn't know that. I've never looked at it.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
I got a 1999 Ford Crown Victoria one time, and another time $50,000 when I was put in a will.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
Complaining. Hookers advertist on Craigslist? I didn't know that. I've never looked at it. And you read "Hustler" for the articles. Right?
"One of the least understood strategies of the world revolution now moving rapidly toward its goal is the use of mind control as a major means of obtaining the consent of the people who will be subjects of the New World Order." K.M. Heaton, The National Educator
lol......and the award for feigned naivete goes to (drum roll) Turtle. That's almost as funny as Turtle's belief in his curative penis consolation, another sad case of the cure being worse than the ailment. hehehehe
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
I did not know that hookers advertised on Craiglist. I have never looked at Craigslist. I thought it would be illegal. I guess not, apparently. I don't cure, just console.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
Your nose is going to b e so long you will trip on it.
I got a 1999 Ford Crown Victoria one time, and another time $50,000 when I was put in a will. Your nose is going to b e so long you will trip on it. I got both from the same woman. I can feel the envy radiating from you! And you! And you!
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
"It does not take a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brush fires of freedom in the minds of men." -- Samuel Adams (1722-1803)‡
CONsole...... Sure, Turtle, you didn't know. That's your story and your sticking to it. Say, you were put in a will for $50K. Which relative were you providing penis CONsolation for? lol
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
Your grannie......lol.
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
It showed up a year or so after she moved away. And believe it or not, the Post Office damaged it and I had to buy a new mount and adapter since she didn't get insurance for it.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
Ha! You wish!
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
Notice he is not telling us from whom he got the STD and he is still virgin.
Not since I was 12. I was very precocious.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
Why would I waste any wishes on Turtle's inheritance from his grannie? Frankly, I find the penis CONsolation aspect troubling. lol Come on, we all know who cornered the market on Crown Vics.
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
Cab drivers?
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
His penis CONsolation consisted of Rosie Palms. Turtle likes to muse that the two were twins. The money exchanged hands but it was all Turtle paying and CONsoling himself. lol He picked up the STD in that seedy porn shop masturbation cubbie. hehehehe
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
Your grannie was a cab driver?
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
You are sooo jealous. It's just as clear as can be.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
No, but I was for a while. I had a Crown Victoria.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
Er, didn't you tell us that the Crown Vic was an inheritance for penis CONsolation? You are sure being shadey about the donor of this "gift". lol
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
And the 50 grand, and the Garmin, and a pug puppy, and several other things. You just wish you had Turtle Power.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
Maybe she is trying to tell you something. Why would you need a GPS locator when you are having sex? Maybe she's suggesting that he needs help finding the right location?
"One of the least understood strategies of the world revolution now moving rapidly toward its goal is the use of mind control as a major means of obtaining the consent of the people who will be subjects of the New World Order." K.M. Heaton, The National Educator
My grannie wasn't a cab driver and I don't offer penis CONsolation. lol However, one day I will inherit a 1968 Mustang convertible. : ) I know it's no Crown Vic, but I think I will get over it.
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
There's a reason for that...you're missing the equipment!
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
LOL!!! The G in that GPS is for the G-Spot. Now that is a genius invention!
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
This is what it looks like. Nice, huh? It's for GLOBAL positioning, not G-Spot finding.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
Careful. You're going to get poor Turdle cornfused, Now he needs to know what a "G-Spot" is, and that it is different from a "10 Spot".
"One of the least understood strategies of the world revolution now moving rapidly toward its goal is the use of mind control as a major means of obtaining the consent of the people who will be subjects of the New World Order." K.M. Heaton, The National Educator
I doubt they like you "in that way." The gifts are probably explained by the loot they lifted from your wallet while you were sleeping, feet up, on your shell.
Actually, I think the G-Spot finder would be more useful for you Turtle. lol As for me, I know where I am without any GLOBAL positioning unit. So, I can't muster up any enthusiasm for your unit.......I know, you hear this ad nauseum. : )
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
And here's a pug puppy, which I'm sure is cuter than any flea-bitten, smelly mongrel you own!
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
I don't carry any money because of all the women who support me.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
Ka-Zingggggggggg! "One of the least understood strategies of the world revolution now moving rapidly toward its goal is the use of mind control as a major means of obtaining the consent of the people who will be subjects of the New World Order." K.M. Heaton, The National Educator
Looks like a mostly empty box with a little red X in the upper left hand corner. Poor Turtle......another epic fail. My little cutie looks like this: "The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
What happened to its head? Did you hit it with a hammer? The puppy showed up on my computer, because I have a REAL computer.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
Oh no, I never use my ball peen on canines. I only use it on Turtles. : )
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
More fibs.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
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#2. To: Turtle (#0)
OMG, I just realized I'm a WHORE!!
#3. To: Turtle (#0)
OMG, I just realized I'm a WHORE!!
#4. To: TooConservative, Turtle, abraxas (#2)
Are you complaining or advertising? This ain't Craigslist, ya know.
#5. To: TooConservative (#2)
(Edited)
Are you complaining or advertising? This ain't Craigslist, ya know.
#6. To: Cynicom (#3)
In your wildest machinations, it never happened.
#7. To: Turtle, TooConservative, farmfriend, all (#5)
Are you complaining or advertising? This ain't Craigslist, ya know.
#8. To: Turtle, TooConservative (#5)
Hookers advertist on Craigslist?
#9. To: abraxas (#8)
(Edited)
lol......and the award for feigned naivete goes to (drum roll) Turtle
#10. To: Turtle (#6)
I got a 1999 Ford Crown Victoria one time, and another time $50,000 when I was put in a will.
#11. To: Cynicom, abraxas, farmfriend (#10)
#12. To: Turtle (#0)
#13. To: Turtle (#9)
I don't cure, just console.
#14. To: Turtle, Cynicom, farmfriend (#11)
I got both from the same woman.
#15. To: ghostdogtxn (#12)
Why would you need a GPS locator when you are having sex?
#16. To: abraxas (#14)
Your grannie......lol.
#17. To: abraxas, turtle (#14)
#18. To: Cynicom, abraxas, farmfriend (#17)
and he is still virgin.
#19. To: Turtle (#16)
You wish!
#20. To: abraxas (#19)
Come on, we all know who cornered the market on Crown Vics.
#21. To: Cynicom, turtle (#17)
#22. To: Turtle (#20)
#23. To: abraxas (#21)
Come on, we all know who cornered the market on Crown Vics.
#24. To: abraxas (#22)
Your grannie was a cab driver?
#25. To: Turtle (#24)
#26. To: abraxas (#25)
Er, didn't you tell us that the Crown Vic was an inheritance for penis CONsolation?
#27. To: ghostdogtxn (#12)
sent me a $340 Garmin GPS
#28. To: Turtle (#26)
You just wish you had Turtle Power.
#29. To: abraxas (#28)
I don't offer penis CONsolation. lol
#30. To: Original_Intent, ghostdogtxn, Turtle (#27)
Maybe she's suggesting that he needs help finding the right location?
#31. To: abraxas (#30)
#32. To: abraxas (#30)
#33. To: Turtle (#0)
#34. To: Turtle (#31)
Nice, huh? It's for GLOBAL positioning, not G-Spot finding.
#35. To: abraxas (#34)
#36. To: Jethro Tull (#33)
The gifts are probably explained by the loot they lifted from your wallet while you were sleeping, feet up, on your shell.
#37. To: abraxas (#34)
#38. To: Turtle (#35)
#39. To: abraxas (#38)
(Edited)
#40. To: Turtle (#39)
Did you hit it with a hammer/
#41. To: abraxas (#40)
I only use it on Turtles. : )
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