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Title: I Just Realized I'm a WHORE!!!
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Published: Nov 13, 2010
Author: Turtle
Post Date: 2010-11-13 11:55:42 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 3171
Comments: 75
One of my ex-ex-ex-girlfiends (I mean friend) sent me a $340 Garmin GPS because of all the times I consoled her with my penis. Now that I think about it, that's how I got most of the stuff I own. OMG, I just realized I'm a WHORE!!
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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 61.
#12. To: Turtle (#0)
Maybe she is trying to tell you something. Why would you need a GPS locator when you are having sex? Maybe she's suggesting that he needs help finding the right location?
LOL!!! The G in that GPS is for the G-Spot. Now that is a genius invention!
This is what it looks like. Nice, huh? It's for GLOBAL positioning, not G-Spot finding.
Actually, I think the G-Spot finder would be more useful for you Turtle. lol As for me, I know where I am without any GLOBAL positioning unit. So, I can't muster up any enthusiasm for your unit.......I know, you hear this ad nauseum. : )
And here's a pug puppy, which I'm sure is cuter than any flea-bitten, smelly mongrel you own!
Looks like a mostly empty box with a little red X in the upper left hand corner. Poor Turtle......another epic fail. My little cutie looks like this:
What happened to its head? Did you hit it with a hammer? The puppy showed up on my computer, because I have a REAL computer.
Oh no, I never use my ball peen on canines. I only use it on Turtles. : )
More fibs.
For you Turtle...........Sledge Hammer. lol
I love that song.
Me too. : )
We could take up a petition to have Turtle banned for life?????? Of course if we did that, what would we do for coarse humor here on 4um????? Lot of olde stuffed shirts etc here so guess we may have to let him stay. If he would not lie so much, exaggerate so much, boast so much, perhaps we could at least tolerate him like a bad hangnail?
Never underestimate the joy of owning a turtle.
I had a turtle on a chain that lived in the pond in front of our house when I was a kid. That way he could enjoy his own environment while playing the role of my pet. This evil boy was at our house one day and he pulled my turtle out of the pond and dropped a rock on him. My grandpa and I had services for him in the field. At the time my grandpa was in the end stages of bone cancer, the turtle service was my last fond memory and I remember him explaining his views about death although I didn't realize until after he passed away that he was talking as much about himself as he was my turtle loss.
#63. To: abraxas (#61)
I still have fond memories of dogs and cats that we had as adults. True friends all.
That brings back a bittersweet memory - setting on the step in front of the house with Grandpa, I could feel his sadness, but did not know why. Then they made me stay at the house while they took Grandpa away to the hospital. I never saw him again, and was not old enough to understand. I just knew I wanted to see Grandpa. I still miss him.
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#27. To: ghostdogtxn (#12)
sent me a $340 Garmin GPS
#30. To: Original_Intent, ghostdogtxn, Turtle (#27)
Maybe she's suggesting that he needs help finding the right location?
#31. To: abraxas (#30)
#34. To: Turtle (#31)
Nice, huh? It's for GLOBAL positioning, not G-Spot finding.
#35. To: abraxas (#34)
#38. To: Turtle (#35)
#39. To: abraxas (#38)
(Edited)
#40. To: Turtle (#39)
Did you hit it with a hammer/
#41. To: abraxas (#40)
I only use it on Turtles. : )
#43. To: Turtle (#41)
#49. To: abraxas (#43)
#54. To: farmfriend (#49)
#56. To: abraxas, farmfriend (#54)
#58. To: Cynicom, abraxas, turtle (#56)
If he would not lie so much, exaggerate so much, boast so much, perhaps we could at least tolerate him like a bad hangnail?
#61. To: farmfriend, Cynicom (#58)
Never underestimate the joy of owning a turtle.
Replies to Comment # 61.
#65. To: abraxas (#61)
My grandpa and I had services for him in the field. At the time my grandpa was in the end stages of bone cancer, the turtle service was my last fond memory and I remember him explaining his views about death although I didn't realize until after he passed away that he was talking as much about himself as he was my turtle loss.
End Trace Mode for Comment # 61.