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Title: I Just Realized I'm a WHORE!!!
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Published: Nov 13, 2010
Author: Turtle
Post Date: 2010-11-13 11:55:42 by Turtle
Keywords: None
Views: 2924
Comments: 75
One of my ex-ex-ex-girlfiends (I mean friend) sent me a $340 Garmin GPS because of all the times I consoled her with my penis. Now that I think about it, that's how I got most of the stuff I own. OMG, I just realized I'm a WHORE!!
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#36. To: Jethro Tull (#33)
I don't carry any money because of all the women who support me.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
Ka-Zingggggggggg! "One of the least understood strategies of the world revolution now moving rapidly toward its goal is the use of mind control as a major means of obtaining the consent of the people who will be subjects of the New World Order." K.M. Heaton, The National Educator
Looks like a mostly empty box with a little red X in the upper left hand corner. Poor Turtle......another epic fail. My little cutie looks like this: "The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
What happened to its head? Did you hit it with a hammer? The puppy showed up on my computer, because I have a REAL computer.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
Oh no, I never use my ball peen on canines. I only use it on Turtles. : )
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
More fibs.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
I didn't doubt the REALness of your computer, Turtle. However, I cannot underestimate the OPERATOR ineptness on the keyboard. : ) The puppy showed up on YOUR computer because it's on YOUR hard drive. If you want to share it with the lot of us, you need to upload the photo to Photo Bucket or a like site and then post it from there.
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
For you Turtle...........Sledge Hammer. lol
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
Must have been a heck of a big woman that you had to have a GPS to find out where you needed to be.
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic. I refuse to have anything more with this horrible thread. Turtle is insufferable. Gigolo was the word he was trying to find to describe himself, not whore. But it is a foreign word and language to little turtle.
LOL
Tough women come from New York, sweet women from Texas, prissy women from Southern California, but we NORTHERN CALIFORNIA WOMEN have fire & ice in our blood. We can ride 4-wheelers, be a princess, throw a left hook, pack heat, hunt with the men, bake a cake, love with passion, and if we have an opinion, you know you're going to hear it!! If you have to advertise your "endowment" then you are well aware of the inefficiency of that appendage!!!
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end. He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic. I love that song.
Tough women come from New York, sweet women from Texas, prissy women from Southern California, but we NORTHERN CALIFORNIA WOMEN have fire & ice in our blood. We can ride 4-wheelers, be a princess, throw a left hook, pack heat, hunt with the men, bake a cake, love with passion, and if we have an opinion, you know you're going to hear it!! Are you sure? LOL
Tough women come from New York, sweet women from Texas, prissy women from Southern California, but we NORTHERN CALIFORNIA WOMEN have fire & ice in our blood. We can ride 4-wheelers, be a princess, throw a left hook, pack heat, hunt with the men, bake a cake, love with passion, and if we have an opinion, you know you're going to hear it!! So, let me get my facts straight. She sent you a GPS to help you find your penis? ;) lol
From Blank Cheque Ireland... to Bounced Cheque Ireland.
She should have sent a magnifying glass and some tweezers.
The gifts are probably explained by the loot they lifted from your wallet while you were sleeping, feet up, on your shell.
#37. To: abraxas (#34)
#38. To: Turtle (#35)
#39. To: abraxas (#38)
(Edited)
#40. To: Turtle (#39)
Did you hit it with a hammer/
#41. To: abraxas (#40)
I only use it on Turtles. : )
#42. To: Turtle (#39)
because I have a REAL computer.
#43. To: Turtle (#41)
#44. To: Turtle (#31)
This is what it looks like. Nice, huh? It's for GLOBAL positioning, not G-Spot finding.
Lord Acton
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace
#45. To: James Deffenbach, Turtle (#44)
(Edited)
#46. To: abraxas (#8)
another sad case of the cure being worse than the ailment.
#47. To: Turtle (#0)
... I consoled her with my penis ...
#48. To: Cynicom, Turtle (#45)
Turtle is insufferable.
Lord Acton
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace
#49. To: abraxas (#43)
#50. To: Cynicom (#45)
Gigolo was the word he was trying to find to describe himself, not whore.
#51. To: Turtle (#0)
One of my ex-ex-ex-girlfiends (I mean friend) sent me a $340 Garmin GPS because of all the times I consoled her with my penis. Now that I think about it, that's how I got most of the stuff I own. OMG, I just realized I'm a WHORE!!
#52. To: irishthatcherite, turtle (#51)
She sent you a GPS to help you find your penis?
Waiting too late to oppose tyranny has always led to bloodshed.
Hair Salon Salisbury, CT
#53. To: Turtle (#1)
among those gifts,I am sure tetracycline would help.
You both may start in now
#54. To: farmfriend (#49)
Me too. : )
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
#55. To: James Deffenbach (#44)
Doh!!! That'll leave a mark. ; )
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
#56. To: abraxas, farmfriend (#54)
We could take up a petition to have Turtle banned for life?????? Of course if we did that, what would we do for coarse humor here on 4um????? Lot of olde stuffed shirts etc here so guess we may have to let him stay. If he would not lie so much, exaggerate so much, boast so much, perhaps we could at least tolerate him like a bad hangnail?
#57. To: abraxas, Turtle (#55)
Yeah, with any luck. But not to worry, Turtle can find it. He has GPS.
Doh!!! That'll leave a mark. ; )
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Lord Acton
He (Gordon Duff) also implies that forcibly removing Obama, a Constitution-hating, on-the-down-low, crackhead Communist, is an attack on America, Mom, and apple pie. I swear these military people are worse than useless. Just look around at the condition of the country and tell me if they have fulfilled their oaths to protect the nation from all enemies foreign and domestic.
OsamaBinGoldstein posted on 2010-05-25 9:39:59 ET (2 images) Reply Trace
#58. To: Cynicom, abraxas, turtle (#56)
Never underestimate the joy of owning a turtle. If he would not lie so much, exaggerate so much, boast so much, perhaps we could at least tolerate him like a bad hangnail?
Tough women come from New York, sweet women from Texas, prissy women from Southern California, but we NORTHERN CALIFORNIA WOMEN have fire & ice in our blood. We can ride 4-wheelers, be a princess, throw a left hook, pack heat, hunt with the men, bake a cake, love with passion, and if we have an opinion, you know you're going to hear it!!
#59. To: farmfriend (#58)
I almost ran over a turtle the other day. Guy in the other lane squished it first, ticked me off, shook my fist at him.
#60. To: abraxas (#8)
deleted
The relationship between morality and liberty is a directly proportional one.
"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." - Ben Franklin
#61. To: farmfriend, Cynicom (#58)
I had a turtle on a chain that lived in the pond in front of our house when I was a kid. That way he could enjoy his own environment while playing the role of my pet. This evil boy was at our house one day and he pulled my turtle out of the pond and dropped a rock on him. My grandpa and I had services for him in the field. At the time my grandpa was in the end stages of bone cancer, the turtle service was my last fond memory and I remember him explaining his views about death although I didn't realize until after he passed away that he was talking as much about himself as he was my turtle loss.
Never underestimate the joy of owning a turtle.
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
#62. To: Turtle, abraxas, farmfriend (#31)
That GPS is not even a current model, it's an ancient one. I know, because I used to own one just like it. As others have suggested, maybe she's telling you that you couldnt find certain things.This is what it looks like. Nice, huh? It's for GLOBAL positioning, not G-Spot finding.
She was probably cleaning out her closet and is dumping her old junk on you.
"Turn south at Cli-tor-is."
"Drive 5 inches forward."
"Reverse 5 inches"
"Recalculating..."
#63. To: abraxas (#61)
I still have fond memories of dogs and cats that we had as adults. True friends all.
#64. To: Cynicom (#63)
My dog loves me no matter how crabby I am. : ) I often think we should all be as forgiving and loving as our pets.....we'd sure have a better world if we did.
True friends all.
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
#65. To: abraxas (#61)
That brings back a bittersweet memory - setting on the step in front of the house with Grandpa, I could feel his sadness, but did not know why. Then they made me stay at the house while they took Grandpa away to the hospital. I never saw him again, and was not old enough to understand. I just knew I wanted to see Grandpa. I still miss him.
My grandpa and I had services for him in the field. At the time my grandpa was in the end stages of bone cancer, the turtle service was my last fond memory and I remember him explaining his views about death although I didn't realize until after he passed away that he was talking as much about himself as he was my turtle loss.
"One of the least understood strategies of the world revolution now moving rapidly toward its goal is the use of mind control as a major means of obtaining the consent of the people who will be subjects of the New World Order." K.M. Heaton, The National Educator
#66. To: Armadillo, turtle (#62)
lol..... Turtle relishes the "inheritance" that was supposedly bequeathed for penis CONsolation. As if he couldn't be found in the land yacht SS Crown Victoria, he brims with pride over the "ancient" GPS while feigning naivete over the obvious "HINT" that Turtle has troubles with location and positioning. Turtle would feign naivete if she bequeathed him a clue by four. hehehehe
She was probably cleaning out her closet and is dumping her old junk on you.
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
#67. To: Armadillo (#62)
I think it's about two years old. She bought a Honda Pilot with built-in GPS, so she send the Garmin to me. It works just fine. The reason it's so bulky is because it has a four-hour battery. Damn thing costs $50 to update.
That GPS is not even a current model, it's an ancient one
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
#68. To: abraxas (#66)
Crown Vics are pieces of junk and I sent that one to the junkyard ten years ago. Now I have a Windstar van, and they're pieces of junk, too. Fords and generally junk. Found on road dead, fix or repair daily.
As if he couldn't be found in the land yacht SS Crown Victoria
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
#69. To: Cynicom (#56)
I always tell the truth! You're just jealous.
If he would not lie so much, exaggerate so much, boast so much, perhaps we could at least tolerate him like a bad hangnai
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
#70. To: Turtle (#68)
Hmmmm.......Turtle seems to attract pieces of junk like a magnet. lol My Fords were stylish and strong Mustangs. No Crown Vics or Windstar vans for me......
Now I have a Windstar van, and they're pieces of junk, too.
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
#71. To: Turtle, Armadillo (#67)
Yes, this is the lament of those using "ancient" technology. lol
Damn thing costs $50 to update.
"The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of." Edward Bernays, Father of Public Relations
#72. To: abraxas, turtle (#70)
Afore you guys time... I had a second hand 1952 ford, two door, flathead six, standard shift, paid 200 bucks for it. Drove it for years, 150,000 I put on it, changed the oil now and then. Never let me down. Sold it for 100 bucks. Own a Caddy now, looks nice, impresses the unwashed, costs me a fortune in repair bills.
My Fords were stylish and strong Mustangs. No Crown Vics or Windstar vans for me......
#73. To: Cynicom (#72)
I put 488,000 miles on a Chevy Cavalier, had the junkyard tow it away, they wouldn't even give me a penny for it, just towed it for free because it blew up in a school parking lot.
150,000 I put on it, changed the oil now and then. Never let me down. Sold it for 100 bucks.
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
#74. To: abraxas (#71) (Edited)
All GPS units have to be updated, nyah, nyah, nyah.
Yes, this is the lament of those using "ancient" technology. lol
"If ever this vast country is brought under a single government, it will be one of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface. This will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reform and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable." - Thomas Jefferson
#75. To: Turtle (#67)
Damn thing costs $50 to update. The newer ones have a four hour batterys as well, they are just thinner with crappier speakers. In some ways I liked my old one better.
The reason it's so bulky is because it has a four-hour battery.
It cost alot to update any of them.
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