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War, War, War See other War, War, War Articles Title: Taki’s Plan for Uncle Sam NEW YORK—This is a good time to be in the Bagel. Walking briskly under changing autumn skies amid colors that still carry their summer clothes is inspiring. Heaven knows I need it. Early morning means judo training—hangover or not—and in foggy days I walk as if in a trance through the park, longing to reach the dojo before the yellow mist envelops me. After training it’s as if a heavy load was lifted from my shoulders. Literally. The heavy-duty training I’m putting in now will pay its dividends next year. That’s how it goes, judo-wise, karate-wise, tennis-wise, sport-wise. It’s like nature: One has to plant in order to reap, unlike fellow Greeks, who reaped long before thinking of planting. I hear the Big Olive is a sad place these days. Shops have closed throughout the capital, and people are losing their life’s savings. Those responsible are swanning around in their Mercedes-Benzes instead of being locked up. But back to nature. Big Bagel parks are amazing. They are well hidden among the cement-and-glass jungle, but there’s woodland galore within hiking distance of the Empire State Building. Hiking trails encompass ponds, hills, and valleys, speckled at this time of year with maple leaves and brush crisscrossing these woodlands. North of Manhattan, in the Bronx, one can see deer, pheasant, falcons, and even snakes, not to be confused with that infamous borough’s drug dealers and criminals. My favorites are the hawks I see on my way to torture in the dojo, circling up above, red-tailed and ever vigilant. Yep, there is nothing like an autumn palette of dazzling yellows and vibrant reds to prepare one to be squashed by an Uzbek gorilla, Alisher, “like Sheraton,” as he tells other squashed suckers. “I’m a Tea Partier myself, but mostly I loathe the neocons and what they’ve done to the country via their Fifth Column influence.” Otherwise things are hunky-dory. The Dems took a licking at the polls and are now whistling Dixie, as they say. Actually they’re whining like the brats they are, no one more than old unmarried bag Maureen Dowd, who believes everyone should vote the way she sees it. She cries out loud twice a week in another old hag’s pages, but that’s nothing new. What bothers me even more is that the right has misinterpreted the elections as a mandate for more war. During World War I, German front-line soldiers called those rear pigs Etappenschweine, which is what I call the neocons. The Confederate Army called them croakers, skedaddlers, and tree dodgers. I prefer yellow-bellied cowards and sofa samurai. None of them have learned their lesson, but they wouldn’t, would they? The Big Bagel Times had an article last week about “men, women, independents, whites, even gays and lesbians” not voting for Obama’s party. Again, it would, wouldn’t it? The Times forgot to bring up cross-dressers and transsexuals, who also didn’t vote for Barack’s party because they were too busy cross-dressing and transsexualizing. What banana republics Noo Yawk and California have become. Midterm elections are always bad for the party in power, and the old hag shouldn’t fret. Led by the nose by the scummy neocons, the Republicans will find ways to blow it. A disproportionate share of New Yorkers and Los Angelenos consume government dollars, mostly through social services such as Medicaid, welfare, and subsidized housing. Such voters stick with the party of big government and big spending, which means that in two years Obama will start his campaign knowing that he has 86 electoral votes courtesy of one big state in the east full of freeloaders and one even bigger state in the west also full of freeloaders. That’s a hell of an advantage, and no use telling Blair and Brown about it. They pulled the same trick for 13 years on the Brits while the latter were busy watching freak reality shows on the telly. It’s obvious that Obama is in denial. The Democrats and most of the Republicans are, too. I’m a Tea Partier myself, but mostly I loathe the neocons and what they’ve done to the country via their Fifth Column influence. They first got Bush to attack Afghanistan, then to turn prematurely against Iraq, letting the Taliban off the hook. But I ask you: When was the last time the Taliban landed in Coney Island and attacked Brooklyn from the rear? Instead of trying to reverse America’s culture—the most vulgar, sleazy, and violent culture ever—Bush and Obama tried to make Iraq and Afghanistan safe for our quasi-moral, mercantile, so-called democracy of large corporations and Goldman Sachs. Afghanistan is another Iraq, resounding failures both, but here I must declare an interest. The great political thinker, philosopher, and historian, Taki, has a plan for Uncle Sam to extricate himself from the troubles in which he has entangled himself since the Kennedy years. All the good but dumb-as-hell uncle has to do is get out from Iraq, but even before that, get the hell out of Afghanistan. Declare it’s none of his business, then read the Riot Act to the Israelis and tell them he no longer can support a 43-year-old brutal occupation and ethnic cleansing of the Palestinians. I guarantee Uncle Sam that if he did that, people would stop airmailing bombs, flying planes into buildings, and blowing themselves up in front of churches. A great thinker such as Taki does not waste words. Uncle Sam should listen, but I don’t advise any of you to hold your breath until he does.
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